Lewis Richmond,* the author of Aging as a Spiritual Practice: A Contemplative Guide to Growing Older and Wiser, proposes we consider two kinds of time: horizontal time and vertical time.
Living is a little like driving on a long desert highway with each day, month, and year signified by a road sign. When we look back on the road we just traveled (left), we see the past with all its joys and sorrows. When we look ahead on the road (right), we imagine what is to come. He labels this kind of time, horizontal time.
Vertical time, according to Richmond, refers to the present moment. While horizontal time is primarily mental, vertical time is physical and in the body. Vertical time has no before and no after.
If you want a taste of these two kinds of time try this: Picture your breath going in and out your ears.** Imagine your breath on the exhale going to the left while you think about important events in your past and continue to think of the past while you inhale. Do this three times. Pay attention to which events make themselves known to you - they may be different each time you practice this. Repeat the process picturing your breathing going to the right as you picture future events. Repeat three times. You have been experiencing horizontal time.
Now sit up straight and imagine the breath going straight up and down your spine. Let the breath pool in your belly before you exhale - pay attention to the whole process of breathing. You may choose to hold the breath for a moment before you exhale. Breathing in and breathing out. Up and down. This happens in the present moment.
Breathing vertically will likely bring a sense of spaciousness. It slows breathing down. There is no dashing back and forth between past and future.
Richmond concludes: "When we include vertical time -- the timeless conviction of the present moment -- we can find relief from the signposts on horizontal time's highway."
Let me know how this works for you.
*Permission graciously given by Lewis Richmond personal correspondence, 5/21/2012.
**The author of exploring the mystery is responsible for suggesting ear breathing.
Thanks again for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
If you wish to read this post on the web click here: www.NickyMendenhall.blogspot.com
Friday, May 25, 2012
Friday, May 18, 2012
Desiring and Wanting - #21
Contemplating the word desire and contemplating the word want this week increased my appreciation for both words.
The word desire ushered in my internal landscape where ideas and values ripe with meaning dwell. My desire to be in the present moment was front and center.
One aspect of being in the here and now, that we can easily overlook, is the necessity of identifying and staying with feelings no matter how elusive or disturbing they are.
It is a different matter when the focus moves from our internal landscape to the external world. When this occurs, the word want may be more appropriate. For example, I wanted an art table. For me, want is reserved for something concrete.
Whether we are under the influence of desire or want, benefits will accrue if we locate and explore the feelings that underlie our yearning. In our culture feelings are perceived as bothersome or untrustworthy; we are often encouraged to ignore or medicate them.
Feelings are messengers that make our desires and wants known to us. There is wisdom in the phrase, "don't shoot the messenger."
Feelings are not trustworthy until they are examined closely. As we tend to our feelings they shift and change. That is the nature of the beast. It behoves us to pay attention to feelings for they come from the oldest part of the brain. There are reasons why they persist. Ignore them at your peril.
Feelings are mysterious and haven't found an honorable place in the twenty-first century. You can be on the cutting edge of evolution if you are open to exploring the mystery!
Nicky Mendenhall
To read post on blog: www.nickymendenhall.blogspot.com
The word desire ushered in my internal landscape where ideas and values ripe with meaning dwell. My desire to be in the present moment was front and center.
One aspect of being in the here and now, that we can easily overlook, is the necessity of identifying and staying with feelings no matter how elusive or disturbing they are.
It is a different matter when the focus moves from our internal landscape to the external world. When this occurs, the word want may be more appropriate. For example, I wanted an art table. For me, want is reserved for something concrete.
Whether we are under the influence of desire or want, benefits will accrue if we locate and explore the feelings that underlie our yearning. In our culture feelings are perceived as bothersome or untrustworthy; we are often encouraged to ignore or medicate them.
Feelings are messengers that make our desires and wants known to us. There is wisdom in the phrase, "don't shoot the messenger."
Feelings are not trustworthy until they are examined closely. As we tend to our feelings they shift and change. That is the nature of the beast. It behoves us to pay attention to feelings for they come from the oldest part of the brain. There are reasons why they persist. Ignore them at your peril.
Feelings are mysterious and haven't found an honorable place in the twenty-first century. You can be on the cutting edge of evolution if you are open to exploring the mystery!
Nicky Mendenhall
To read post on blog: www.nickymendenhall.blogspot.com
Friday, May 11, 2012
A LIFE DRIVEN BY DESIRE - #20
Did the title of today's post grab your attention?
This was the headline for a review of Theodore Dreiser's, The Financier and it captured my attention. According to the WSJ (5-5-2012), desire was Mr. Dreiser's lifelong fascination. Dreiser wove the theme of what people want, what keeps them wanting and how their social situations shape what they want throughout his body of work.
Today Dreiser might pay to consult a "wantologist." An article in NY Times Sunday Review entitled, The Outsourced Life, showed how far the market has penetrated our private lives by promoting certified wantologists; professionals trained to help us know what we want.
In both of these articles, writers used the words want and desire interchangeably. The first definition in the New Oxford American Dictionary for want is "have a desire to possess." First definition for desire in the same dictionary is "a strong feeling of wanting to have something."
Stephen Schettini* says that being in the present moment is a matter of paying attention. What happens when we pay attention to the words desire and want? Let's pay attention to which words open more possibilities for us in our interior landscape. What happens when you think about what you want? Is that easier than using the word desire?
The Desert Fathers and Mothers** remind us that one cannot expect desires to be achieved immediately. In a similar fashion, it takes time to learn how to focus our attention. If our first efforts at meeting our desires and focusing our attention are not successful, it is prudent not to give up but to keep practicing. Learning a new skill takes time and effort.
My desire to be in the present moment and my want to be in the present moment continues. I'm still thinking about the different connotations each word has for me.
Let me know what you think. I desire and want to know.
*www.TheNakedMonk.com
**In the Heart of the Desert (2008) by John Chryssavgis.
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
This was the headline for a review of Theodore Dreiser's, The Financier and it captured my attention. According to the WSJ (5-5-2012), desire was Mr. Dreiser's lifelong fascination. Dreiser wove the theme of what people want, what keeps them wanting and how their social situations shape what they want throughout his body of work.
Today Dreiser might pay to consult a "wantologist." An article in NY Times Sunday Review entitled, The Outsourced Life, showed how far the market has penetrated our private lives by promoting certified wantologists; professionals trained to help us know what we want.
In both of these articles, writers used the words want and desire interchangeably. The first definition in the New Oxford American Dictionary for want is "have a desire to possess." First definition for desire in the same dictionary is "a strong feeling of wanting to have something."
Stephen Schettini* says that being in the present moment is a matter of paying attention. What happens when we pay attention to the words desire and want? Let's pay attention to which words open more possibilities for us in our interior landscape. What happens when you think about what you want? Is that easier than using the word desire?
The Desert Fathers and Mothers** remind us that one cannot expect desires to be achieved immediately. In a similar fashion, it takes time to learn how to focus our attention. If our first efforts at meeting our desires and focusing our attention are not successful, it is prudent not to give up but to keep practicing. Learning a new skill takes time and effort.
My desire to be in the present moment and my want to be in the present moment continues. I'm still thinking about the different connotations each word has for me.
Let me know what you think. I desire and want to know.
*www.TheNakedMonk.com
**In the Heart of the Desert (2008) by John Chryssavgis.
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
Friday, May 4, 2012
Desires revisited - #19
Many of us sit on our desires until they are dead. An expired desire is comparable to a dead car battery. It needs a jump-start in order to spring into action.
Desires go dormant long before they die in order to protect themselves from the internal haranguing inflicted by outdated negative voices.
Example: Whenever you want to spend money on a project that will make you happy, an inner voice shames you by saying that you don't have enough money. This is an old part/voice that doesn't know you have a good job plus a savings account and can afford to spend money on your desires. The part is back in the old days when there wasn't a penny for happiness and it isn't aware of the rewards you will reap when discover and meet your desires.
Jump-Start: Realize and name the different parts you have inside you. Each comes from an inner personality that Richard C. Schwartz* calls a part. Be curious about each part. Get to know the concerns they express. Use facts to calm the part down when needed.
Be a detective and investigate the parts of your inner landscape.
Getting our desires met makes us feel happy and satisfied. People like to be around people who feel this way.
Most of the time others will cheer you on. If they don't, there may be a couple of reasons: these are not people who love you or they are people who love you.**
So go ahead - listen to your desires and work towards fulfilling them. Everybody wins!
*Introduction to the Internal Family Systems Model, 2001, Richard C. Schwartz, Ph.D.
**If you begin doing something for yourself after a lifetime of listening to inner voices that emphasize serving and putting others first, there may be a time when the people affected by your changes will give you "change-back" messages. Change-back messages are the stuff of your worst nightmares. Accusations like, "You used to be so nice," or "You are making too many changes - you are not responsible anymore." If you can maintain your new position with a kind patience, they will adjust and eventually be happy in the new arrangement. The reason people respond with change back messages is because if you are different, they won't be able to relate to you in the same old way which means they have to change. You may be stirring up some of their own baggage or fears. It may take them time to get used to the new you but they will eventually support your new efforts if they have a healthy love for you.
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
Desires go dormant long before they die in order to protect themselves from the internal haranguing inflicted by outdated negative voices.
Example: Whenever you want to spend money on a project that will make you happy, an inner voice shames you by saying that you don't have enough money. This is an old part/voice that doesn't know you have a good job plus a savings account and can afford to spend money on your desires. The part is back in the old days when there wasn't a penny for happiness and it isn't aware of the rewards you will reap when discover and meet your desires.
Jump-Start: Realize and name the different parts you have inside you. Each comes from an inner personality that Richard C. Schwartz* calls a part. Be curious about each part. Get to know the concerns they express. Use facts to calm the part down when needed.
Be a detective and investigate the parts of your inner landscape.
Getting our desires met makes us feel happy and satisfied. People like to be around people who feel this way.
Most of the time others will cheer you on. If they don't, there may be a couple of reasons: these are not people who love you or they are people who love you.**
So go ahead - listen to your desires and work towards fulfilling them. Everybody wins!
*Introduction to the Internal Family Systems Model, 2001, Richard C. Schwartz, Ph.D.
**If you begin doing something for yourself after a lifetime of listening to inner voices that emphasize serving and putting others first, there may be a time when the people affected by your changes will give you "change-back" messages. Change-back messages are the stuff of your worst nightmares. Accusations like, "You used to be so nice," or "You are making too many changes - you are not responsible anymore." If you can maintain your new position with a kind patience, they will adjust and eventually be happy in the new arrangement. The reason people respond with change back messages is because if you are different, they won't be able to relate to you in the same old way which means they have to change. You may be stirring up some of their own baggage or fears. It may take them time to get used to the new you but they will eventually support your new efforts if they have a healthy love for you.
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
Friday, April 27, 2012
Double Trouble - #18
Jungian analyst Marion Woodman divides people into two types: people who spend their time pursuing personal transformation and people who are content to watch television and drink beer. She calls members of the latter group "happy carrots." Woodman advises that "happy carrots" are to be respected and left alone.
Soon our scandalous inquiry and investigative analysis of desire will be but a fond memory. I'm imagining that the happy carrots among us will be relieved.
Before moving on, here is a "how to" example of making contact with and following a desire to fruition.
My bottom line desire is to think of myself as a person who is involved in creative artistic endeavors. For years I believed that I wasn't artistic so I largely ignored my desire.
Being with the yearning that burned inside as I read an invitation to join an online artist and writer's class convinced me to sign up. Noting my excitement when a class member, who was also a psychotherapist, mentioned she blogged led me to follow up on an advertisement in the Nutcracker Ballet program for website technical advice.
Busting past stubborn resistance and learning how to upload documents and store pictures from my camera on my computer led to designing a blog using my own photography.
Being fearless when Blog related technical difficulties threatened my sanity and gaining trust that my expert helper would eventually figure out Feedburner issues were both stepping stones to realizing my desire.
Learning that when I sit down to write, it is enough to have a vague idea of what I want to write. Not freaking out as my anxiety level rises when facing writer's block keeps me writing. Enjoying it when a flash of an idea appears and capturing it before it gets away brings immense joy.
Noticing how rewarding it is to go over and over my words until I'm satisfied enough with them to walk away for awhile and let them sit. Then returning to go over them again. And again.
Recognizing the deep breath and smile that comes prior to pushing the publish button.
All these steps go into realizing my desire.
What steps do you need to take to realize your desire? If you think of yourself as a happy carrot, do you have relatives or friends that need your encouragement to meet their desires?
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
Soon our scandalous inquiry and investigative analysis of desire will be but a fond memory. I'm imagining that the happy carrots among us will be relieved.
Before moving on, here is a "how to" example of making contact with and following a desire to fruition.
My bottom line desire is to think of myself as a person who is involved in creative artistic endeavors. For years I believed that I wasn't artistic so I largely ignored my desire.
Being with the yearning that burned inside as I read an invitation to join an online artist and writer's class convinced me to sign up. Noting my excitement when a class member, who was also a psychotherapist, mentioned she blogged led me to follow up on an advertisement in the Nutcracker Ballet program for website technical advice.
Busting past stubborn resistance and learning how to upload documents and store pictures from my camera on my computer led to designing a blog using my own photography.
Being fearless when Blog related technical difficulties threatened my sanity and gaining trust that my expert helper would eventually figure out Feedburner issues were both stepping stones to realizing my desire.
Learning that when I sit down to write, it is enough to have a vague idea of what I want to write. Not freaking out as my anxiety level rises when facing writer's block keeps me writing. Enjoying it when a flash of an idea appears and capturing it before it gets away brings immense joy.
Noticing how rewarding it is to go over and over my words until I'm satisfied enough with them to walk away for awhile and let them sit. Then returning to go over them again. And again.
Recognizing the deep breath and smile that comes prior to pushing the publish button.
All these steps go into realizing my desire.
What steps do you need to take to realize your desire? If you think of yourself as a happy carrot, do you have relatives or friends that need your encouragement to meet their desires?
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
Friday, April 20, 2012
Trouble in Paradise - #17
You may be finding that searching for your inner most desire is more arduous than collecting 75,000 light bulbs.
Dr. Hicks's enlightening collection, that we viewed last week, was the result of his unrestrained desire for certain external objects.
A desire for things germinates internally but comes to fruition in the world. In order for this type of desire to be fulfilled, there needs to be access to things already in existence.
Let's take a look at other types of desire: desires that can't be satisfied by purchasing or displaying artifacts in the external world. Desires that often go unnoticed and tend to be specific to each person.
These desires are first cousins to creative impulses because they bring something totally new to the world.
This type of desire suggests a particular type of activity; one that has more in common with flow than schedule. Activity that doesn't depend on a blueprint or doesn't focus on owning a commercial product.
This desire is deeper and more elusive than those that require following directions or acquiring possessions. This type can be frustrating because it has a tendency to appear and disappear without warning.
It is worth continuing the search because when we discern and honor this type of desire it is the basis for increasing joy and improving your well being.
Next week, watch for Double Trouble as we continue to explore the concept of desire and learn how to give voice to both our internal and external desires.
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
Dr. Hicks's enlightening collection, that we viewed last week, was the result of his unrestrained desire for certain external objects.
A desire for things germinates internally but comes to fruition in the world. In order for this type of desire to be fulfilled, there needs to be access to things already in existence.
Let's take a look at other types of desire: desires that can't be satisfied by purchasing or displaying artifacts in the external world. Desires that often go unnoticed and tend to be specific to each person.
These desires are first cousins to creative impulses because they bring something totally new to the world.
This type of desire suggests a particular type of activity; one that has more in common with flow than schedule. Activity that doesn't depend on a blueprint or doesn't focus on owning a commercial product.
This desire is deeper and more elusive than those that require following directions or acquiring possessions. This type can be frustrating because it has a tendency to appear and disappear without warning.
It is worth continuing the search because when we discern and honor this type of desire it is the basis for increasing joy and improving your well being.
Next week, watch for Double Trouble as we continue to explore the concept of desire and learn how to give voice to both our internal and external desires.
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
Friday, April 13, 2012
Desire Continued - #16
Meet Dr. Hugh Francis Hicks,* a Baltimore dentist whose mother offered him a light bulb when she noticed he was bored with the toys in his crib. In his lifetime, he filled his basement with 75,000 light bulbs, creating what he dubbed "The Mount Vernon Museum of Incandescent Lighting."
Dr. Hicks followed his desire for seventy years until he died in 2002 at the age of seventy-nine. He would advise you to:
Pay attention to anything that makes your heart sing or beat a little faster or that induces a feeling of longing - no matter how miniscule.
Don't wait another minute to honor the desire you have been offered. Consider it a gift that needs to be opened.
That's right - don't talk yourself out of or ignore your desire or give up when the going gets tough. Don't let someone else talk you out of pursuing your desire - begin working towards it.
You may be saying - I don't have any desires. Baloney I say. Your desires may be huge or tiny - it matters that you learn how to tune into your own inner longing. Your essence is unique and it needs its own special diet. What are you hungry for?
Go ahead. I'm seeing a light bulb hovering over your head.
Next week - trouble in paradise.
*Michael Kimmelman's interview with Dr. Hicks is detailed in The Accidental Masterpiece, 2005. Mr. Kimmelman will be lecturing at the Des Moines Art Center on April 19, 2012.
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
Friday, April 6, 2012
Meeting your Desires - #15
As you spend time in the Present Moment, are your desires making themselves known?
One of the benefits of being Mindful is an increasing awareness of one's desires.
Desires can be elusive notions that appear briefly and just as suddenly disappear. Minuscule yearnings, often ignored for years, are ripe with unrealized potential.
Mentioning the archaic word desire in this day and age seems slightly naughty or vaguely unwholesome.
In the past, paying attention to desire was seen as a necessary self-activity comparable to the self-activities of thinking, judging, and deciphering emotions.
We are going to resurrect the word "desire" from its shady twenty-first century reputation by christening it with a more historically accurate definition: inner knowing that has its origin deep inside our sense of self, makes the heart sing, and excites parts of the brain.
If you are able to capture your desires before they flit off to your unrealized-desires holding tank, you will be tantalized by their power and beauty.
Soon you will create something uniquely 100% You. Helpful hint - use your focus!
Next week - meet a man who followed his desire.
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
One of the benefits of being Mindful is an increasing awareness of one's desires.
Desires can be elusive notions that appear briefly and just as suddenly disappear. Minuscule yearnings, often ignored for years, are ripe with unrealized potential.
Mentioning the archaic word desire in this day and age seems slightly naughty or vaguely unwholesome.
In the past, paying attention to desire was seen as a necessary self-activity comparable to the self-activities of thinking, judging, and deciphering emotions.
We are going to resurrect the word "desire" from its shady twenty-first century reputation by christening it with a more historically accurate definition: inner knowing that has its origin deep inside our sense of self, makes the heart sing, and excites parts of the brain.
If you are able to capture your desires before they flit off to your unrealized-desires holding tank, you will be tantalized by their power and beauty.
Soon you will create something uniquely 100% You. Helpful hint - use your focus!
Next week - meet a man who followed his desire.
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
Friday, March 30, 2012
The Elusive Present Moment - # 14
One of the greatest obstacles to staying in the present moment is our inability to stay focused. Staying focused is a skill we can learn.
Machaell Wright* believes if we can focus it will be easier to be in the moment. I recently listened to one of her guided relaxation meditations which I found quite effective. Machaell asks listeners to picture a ball the size of an orange deep in their chests.
Then using focus to picture the ball (she calls it an energy ball), see it becoming larger or smaller. Then, continuing to use your focus, move the ball around inside your body. Relax the part of your body where you place the ball. If you lose the ball, you've lost your focus. Find the ball by refocusing.
You might experiment with Machaell's suggestions when you sense anxiety is about to knock on your door.
Another hindrance to being in the present moment is the feeling of internal rushing. Speeding up internally is a sure way to invite anxiety as a guest.
When I am obsessed with crossing things off my list or when I plan a trip to the credit union and rush off without my deposit, my internal sense of rushing is coming out in my behavior. Rushing keeps me from enjoying my daily activities.
To feel satisfied with life, we need to access our spacious inner landscape we developed last week. Specifically we want to focus on areas that relate to altruism, desire, discernment, and connection.
Our sense of spaciousness is found in the present moment. It is hard to find spaciousness if we are looking to the past. If we are longing for the future, we are not in the present.
Being in the present moment will slow down your experience of time and make it richer. Is that why we call a gift a present?
See if you can discover the gifts of the present moment this week. Work on developing your ability to focus. Let me know how it feels to have a ball of energy in your chest!
*Machaelle has carefully constructed a garden "biosphere" that operates on the principles of full balance in accordance with Nature. For more information visit www.perelandra-ltd.com.
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
Machaell Wright* believes if we can focus it will be easier to be in the moment. I recently listened to one of her guided relaxation meditations which I found quite effective. Machaell asks listeners to picture a ball the size of an orange deep in their chests.
Then using focus to picture the ball (she calls it an energy ball), see it becoming larger or smaller. Then, continuing to use your focus, move the ball around inside your body. Relax the part of your body where you place the ball. If you lose the ball, you've lost your focus. Find the ball by refocusing.
You might experiment with Machaell's suggestions when you sense anxiety is about to knock on your door.
Another hindrance to being in the present moment is the feeling of internal rushing. Speeding up internally is a sure way to invite anxiety as a guest.
When I am obsessed with crossing things off my list or when I plan a trip to the credit union and rush off without my deposit, my internal sense of rushing is coming out in my behavior. Rushing keeps me from enjoying my daily activities.
To feel satisfied with life, we need to access our spacious inner landscape we developed last week. Specifically we want to focus on areas that relate to altruism, desire, discernment, and connection.
Our sense of spaciousness is found in the present moment. It is hard to find spaciousness if we are looking to the past. If we are longing for the future, we are not in the present.
Being in the present moment will slow down your experience of time and make it richer. Is that why we call a gift a present?
See if you can discover the gifts of the present moment this week. Work on developing your ability to focus. Let me know how it feels to have a ball of energy in your chest!
*Machaelle has carefully constructed a garden "biosphere" that operates on the principles of full balance in accordance with Nature. For more information visit www.perelandra-ltd.com.
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
Friday, March 23, 2012
Designing the Not Knowing Place - #13
Walking on a nature trail Monday, March 19, I started wondering:
What are options for successfully surviving Not Knowing?
Cheerful yellow daffodils, lacy green trees, and brilliant yellow forsythia spread out before me, none of them appearing to fret about Not Knowing. Beauty was everywhere. A glorious sense of spaciousness permeated the air.
Could this sense of spaciousness be transferred to my inner landscape?
A question was developing in my head: If I had a spacious interior landscape, would being in the Not Knowing Place be easier?
When I pictured openheartedness, a mind nearly void of judgment, blaming, or prejudice, and appropriate anxiety being residents of my interior space, it seemed these qualities would ease the stress of unanswered questions.
Qualities of this nature would take up a lot of space. Maybe this is why we say that a person who exhibits them is the bigger person.
To successfully stay in the Not Knowing place, develop a huge interior landscape. Something the size of a dance hall - not the size of a department store elevator.
One hindrance to spaciousness in our interior landscape is to narrow our focus. When the most important thing to us is to be right or find someone to blame, our narrow focus blocks out the space of loving kindness.
To enlarge your internal space, stay in the moment. When we concentrate on being in the moment, we begin to notice our breathing and subsequently it begins to slow down.
While inhaling, we can remember that billions of people are breathing the same air. While exhaling we can increase the length of the exhale, release tension, and enter a space of openness and creativity.
When we sense a web of connection to beings and creatures, our little piece of the web seems more manageable.
What gets in the way of you staying in the moment?
Note: In last week's post, I mentioned that a high school classmate was dying of cancer. I raised several questions, one of which was how much longer would he would live. That question has been answered: Mike died on March 19, 2012. Other questions remain unanswered.
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
What are options for successfully surviving Not Knowing?
Cheerful yellow daffodils, lacy green trees, and brilliant yellow forsythia spread out before me, none of them appearing to fret about Not Knowing. Beauty was everywhere. A glorious sense of spaciousness permeated the air.
Could this sense of spaciousness be transferred to my inner landscape?
A question was developing in my head: If I had a spacious interior landscape, would being in the Not Knowing Place be easier?
When I pictured openheartedness, a mind nearly void of judgment, blaming, or prejudice, and appropriate anxiety being residents of my interior space, it seemed these qualities would ease the stress of unanswered questions.
Qualities of this nature would take up a lot of space. Maybe this is why we say that a person who exhibits them is the bigger person.
To successfully stay in the Not Knowing place, develop a huge interior landscape. Something the size of a dance hall - not the size of a department store elevator.
One hindrance to spaciousness in our interior landscape is to narrow our focus. When the most important thing to us is to be right or find someone to blame, our narrow focus blocks out the space of loving kindness.
To enlarge your internal space, stay in the moment. When we concentrate on being in the moment, we begin to notice our breathing and subsequently it begins to slow down.
While inhaling, we can remember that billions of people are breathing the same air. While exhaling we can increase the length of the exhale, release tension, and enter a space of openness and creativity.
When we sense a web of connection to beings and creatures, our little piece of the web seems more manageable.
What gets in the way of you staying in the moment?
Note: In last week's post, I mentioned that a high school classmate was dying of cancer. I raised several questions, one of which was how much longer would he would live. That question has been answered: Mike died on March 19, 2012. Other questions remain unanswered.
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
Friday, March 16, 2012
Anxiety encounters Space - Part 12
Anxiety has a complicated relationship with Space.
When we pause and breathe, we give ourselves access to life- giving Space. In this type of Space the physical manifestations of anxiety will decrease automatically. Our muscles and nervous system will be released from the tension endemic of anxiety.
When we take several deep slow breaths, our monkey mind's chatter will begin to decrease. People who meditate commonly refer to the mind as the monkey mind to describe the difficulty of focusing on the breath when meditating - if you've ever seen a monkey or tried to concentrate on something - you can understand the reference.
For many of us, finding a centered peaceful Space will require more than a few deep breaths.
This is because it won't take long for the mind to encounter what it perceives as its nemesis: The Space of Not Knowing.
Not Knowing is an ability that we have to learn. I'm going repeat that: Not Knowing is an ability we have to learn. This may take some time to sink in so be patient with your self.
We all realize it takes ability to know. We study to know facts. We talk to people and ask questions to know about life in general. Our entire educational system is based on teaching us how to know.
But what about situations in life where we don't know or can't know when we want to know or feel we need to know? What do we do then?
How do we cultivate the ability to manage these types of situations?
A former member of my high school graduating class emails when he learns pertinent information about members of our class. A message from him earlier this week contained the sad news that a class member, Mike, has cancer. The cancer is spreading throughout his body and Mike has asked his family to call hospice; he wants to die at home.
This news puts me in the Space of Not Knowing: Why did Mike get cancer and I didn't? How much longer will he be alive? Why is there suffering in the world? What happens to him when he dies? What would I do in Mike's situation?
Of course, the Space of Not Knowing occurs in situations that are not life and death. When we are in times of transition, the list of what we don't know or can't predict becomes long. When we are in financial difficulty and we don't know how we are going to pay the bills is a very stressful place of Not Knowing. When we listen to the world news and wonder what is going to happen next we are in the Space of Not Knowing. Another really hard Space of Not Knowing is when we are grieving as we don't know when our feelings will ease or even if they will.
How do we stay in whatever Space of Not Knowing we are in without encountering depression, anxiety, or bitterness?
Where are you in a Space of Not Knowing?
Next week we will look at what an ability to handle Not Knowing consists of and how we can develop it.
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
.
Friday, March 9, 2012
Do You have a "Reality Distortion Field?"- Part 11
Reading Walter Isaacson's new biography, Steve Jobs,* I began to wonder if Jobs had lived his life under the influence of anxiety.
Early in his career, Jobs was asked to work the less populated night shift: he was irritating too many co-workers on the day shift. During his lifetime, Jobs explored new possibilities, abandoned the familiar, and exercised his creativity. Last week we learned that all four of these factors are related one way or another to anxiety.
Isaacson was warned by Jobs's foes, as well as his friends, to watch out for Mr. Jobs's tendency to see life through a "reality distortion field."
The phrase, "reality distortion field," grabbed my attention. We learned in previous posts that anxiety can distort how we see the world. Could viewing reality through a "reality distortion field" mean we could see as many options and possibilities as Mr. Jobs was able to see in his short lifetime?
Could viewing our experience through a "reality distortion field" counteract the brain's negative default setting? Would we see something different than we saw through the sheer black curtain?
Brain scientists used to believe that the mind was merely the activity of the brain; neuropsychologist and meditation teacher Rick Hanson**, PH.D. and a host of other scientists, now suggest the mind is an embodied relational process.
This suggests to me that when the mind (picture the mind as an embodied relational process) is taught a skill (concentration), the mind can change the brain by how it moves through the organ of the brain. The mind can remodel the brain!
Did Job use a "reality distortion field" to change his brain? What changes are you going to make with your "reality distortion field?"
What do you think a "reality distortion field" is?
Please let me know.
*Walter Isaacson, Steve Jobs,2011. (Note to readers - I skimmed this 600+ page biography.)
** Rick Hanson, PH.D., Buddha's Brain, 2009. (Note to readers - I'm in process of reading this excellent book)
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
Early in his career, Jobs was asked to work the less populated night shift: he was irritating too many co-workers on the day shift. During his lifetime, Jobs explored new possibilities, abandoned the familiar, and exercised his creativity. Last week we learned that all four of these factors are related one way or another to anxiety.
Isaacson was warned by Jobs's foes, as well as his friends, to watch out for Mr. Jobs's tendency to see life through a "reality distortion field."
The phrase, "reality distortion field," grabbed my attention. We learned in previous posts that anxiety can distort how we see the world. Could viewing reality through a "reality distortion field" mean we could see as many options and possibilities as Mr. Jobs was able to see in his short lifetime?
Could viewing our experience through a "reality distortion field" counteract the brain's negative default setting? Would we see something different than we saw through the sheer black curtain?
Brain scientists used to believe that the mind was merely the activity of the brain; neuropsychologist and meditation teacher Rick Hanson**, PH.D. and a host of other scientists, now suggest the mind is an embodied relational process.
This suggests to me that when the mind (picture the mind as an embodied relational process) is taught a skill (concentration), the mind can change the brain by how it moves through the organ of the brain. The mind can remodel the brain!
Did Job use a "reality distortion field" to change his brain? What changes are you going to make with your "reality distortion field?"
What do you think a "reality distortion field" is?
Please let me know.
*Walter Isaacson, Steve Jobs,2011. (Note to readers - I skimmed this 600+ page biography.)
** Rick Hanson, PH.D., Buddha's Brain, 2009. (Note to readers - I'm in process of reading this excellent book)
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
Friday, March 2, 2012
Detecting and Recognizing Anxiety - Part 10
Detecting anxiety is important for our well being. Recognizing anxiety's presence and purpose lets us discern the appropriate course of action.
Irritation can be a sign of anxiety. Irritation projected onto others allows us to ignore our own anxiety. Feeling irritated can give us a sense of self righteousness. On the other hand, feeling our discomfort can make us feel vulnerable. We don't like feeling vulnerable (soft) so we feel irritated (hard).
Anxiety hidden by irritation is one to work at removing lest we end up alienating the people close to us and hardening our own heart.
In other cases, it is wise to keep our eyes open and watch the anxiety develop - much like we would watch a small child - before we shove it out the door (the anxiety not the small child!).
When confronting new possibilities for our lives, no matter which stage of life we are leaving or entering, we are likely to feel some degree of anxiety. This is a healthy type of anxiety that begs to be observed for it contains information we will need in the new life.
When moving from the familiar to the unfamiliar, whether you have chosen to move or you have no choice in the matter, you may experience excitement that you mistake for anxiety or vice versa.
When you begin exercising your creativity and feel either successful or thwarted in your endeavors, anxious feelings will crowd around urging you to give up. Don't.
When basking in a hard-won sense of freedom gained by improved self awareness and hard personal work, remember Kierkegaard's prediction that the possibility of freedom always engenders anxiety.
This week see how many times you can detect or recognize anxiety as it makes an appearance. Does anxiety usually help or hinder you? How?
Email me to let me know what you discover if it would be helpful to write it out. It would be helpful to me to read it.
Thanks for exploring the mystery- Nicky Mendenhall
Irritation can be a sign of anxiety. Irritation projected onto others allows us to ignore our own anxiety. Feeling irritated can give us a sense of self righteousness. On the other hand, feeling our discomfort can make us feel vulnerable. We don't like feeling vulnerable (soft) so we feel irritated (hard).
Anxiety hidden by irritation is one to work at removing lest we end up alienating the people close to us and hardening our own heart.
In other cases, it is wise to keep our eyes open and watch the anxiety develop - much like we would watch a small child - before we shove it out the door (the anxiety not the small child!).
When confronting new possibilities for our lives, no matter which stage of life we are leaving or entering, we are likely to feel some degree of anxiety. This is a healthy type of anxiety that begs to be observed for it contains information we will need in the new life.
When moving from the familiar to the unfamiliar, whether you have chosen to move or you have no choice in the matter, you may experience excitement that you mistake for anxiety or vice versa.
When you begin exercising your creativity and feel either successful or thwarted in your endeavors, anxious feelings will crowd around urging you to give up. Don't.
When basking in a hard-won sense of freedom gained by improved self awareness and hard personal work, remember Kierkegaard's prediction that the possibility of freedom always engenders anxiety.
This week see how many times you can detect or recognize anxiety as it makes an appearance. Does anxiety usually help or hinder you? How?
Email me to let me know what you discover if it would be helpful to write it out. It would be helpful to me to read it.
Thanks for exploring the mystery- Nicky Mendenhall
Friday, February 24, 2012
Tending to Feelings Revisited - Part 9
Last week's recipe for thwarting anxiety left out an essential ingredient. Plus it may have made tending to feelings sound too easy.
Be aware that when you contact feelings (aka tending to feelings) they are likely to erect several barriers.
Barriers to watch out for are subtle thoughts that urge you to abandon the tending feelings idea because it is "staring-at-your-navel-stupid." Or you may encounter loud voices warning you to leave well enough alone and go eat a piece of chocolate.
If you are anxious and miserable enough, you will figure out a way to get around this resistance whatever form it takes. As my brother commented, this may take some practice.
Once you get past roadblocks, try this:
Put on your hip boots. Jump into your feelings and begin to muck around.
Last time we were in the middle of our feelings, we were looking for an authentic feeling. This time we are looking for the beautiful gem of self compassion.
You will find a cache of self compassion adjacent to your storehouse of compassion for others. Mystics through the ages would point you to your heart area.
And you know what - once you begin to love yourself (which is how self compassion manifests itself) - negative feelings, especially anxiety, will begin packing their bags.
Compassion for yourself makes an inhospitable environment for negativity and anxiety.
Compassion is tender and nurturing. It won't force its way in as love never acts like a bully.
It will take time and practice for self compassion to become a regular visitor but what an Incomprehensible Mystery Guest it will be!
Thank you for exploring the mystery. Nicky Mendenhall
Be aware that when you contact feelings (aka tending to feelings) they are likely to erect several barriers.
Barriers to watch out for are subtle thoughts that urge you to abandon the tending feelings idea because it is "staring-at-your-navel-stupid." Or you may encounter loud voices warning you to leave well enough alone and go eat a piece of chocolate.
If you are anxious and miserable enough, you will figure out a way to get around this resistance whatever form it takes. As my brother commented, this may take some practice.
Once you get past roadblocks, try this:
Put on your hip boots. Jump into your feelings and begin to muck around.
Last time we were in the middle of our feelings, we were looking for an authentic feeling. This time we are looking for the beautiful gem of self compassion.
You will find a cache of self compassion adjacent to your storehouse of compassion for others. Mystics through the ages would point you to your heart area.
And you know what - once you begin to love yourself (which is how self compassion manifests itself) - negative feelings, especially anxiety, will begin packing their bags.
Compassion for yourself makes an inhospitable environment for negativity and anxiety.
Compassion is tender and nurturing. It won't force its way in as love never acts like a bully.
It will take time and practice for self compassion to become a regular visitor but what an Incomprehensible Mystery Guest it will be!
Thank you for exploring the mystery. Nicky Mendenhall
Friday, February 17, 2012
Manage anxiety : Tend to Feelings - Part 8
We
will be exploring the mystery of anxiety for the next several weeks by looking
at ways to recognize and manage this prominent mental
characteristic.
A good way to manage anxiety is to tend to your feelings.
When we clamp down on or ignore feelings, the probability of anxiety showing up on our doorstep is pretty much guaranteed.
That's because our feelings get distorted when we don't pay attention to them. You could even say they get anxious.
The interesting thing about feelings is how powerful they can seem until we look them in the eye.
Try the following process the next time you are upset:
Find a spot where you will be undisturbed. Close your eyes and begin to increase the length of your inhalations and exhalations.
Then make yourself feel the feeling you've been trying to ignore. That's right - feel the feeling that is available.
Hold that feeling. Really examine it. Concentrate on it.
Hold it until it starts to morph into a feeling that is deeper and less agitated - a feeling that you weren't aware of when you were in the grips of the anxious feeling.
I know it is hard to believe, but as the initial feeling and the anxiety both dissipate, another more authentic feeling will wiggle its way into the scene.
When this happens, roll out the red carpet for this is the feeling that deserves your attention.
Authentic feelings are workable. Surface feelings mixed up with anxiety can cause lots of trouble.
Our pal anxiety is no match for a genuine feeling.
Note: In the interest of time, you may stop reading at this point as you have already learned the anti-anxiety technique. However if you need extra credit, read the example below:
Let's say you are angry your friend didn't show up for a scheduled lunch. This is not the first time and you are angry. You stay with the anger. You begin to feel furious with her and then you recognize that you are also mad at yourself for this planning this meeting when you didn't really have time in your schedule.
If you focus intensely on the anger at your friend and the upset at yourself, both will begin to fade in intensity. As they fade, you may witness a shift from anger to hurt.
You realize that the real feeling isn't anger, the real feeling is hurt. Hurt that she didn't remember you. Plus there is a nagging feeling of disappointment with yourself because once again, your inner knowing was forgotten. Not only do you feel betrayed by your friend, you feel betrayed by yourself.
Imagine the next meeting with your friend and how it will go if you are still feeling the red hot anger.
Then imagine at the next meeting you tell her you felt hurt she didn't meet you for lunch and you missed her. Let's make this a big imaginaging and add that you've forgiven yourself for not listening to your inner knowing.
Your friend can hear the hurt. It will not be as easy for most people to hear anger, especially anger that is tainted with self-blame.
The hurt feelings are the real feelings and that is why they can be heard. The hurt feelings are the truth.
Thank you for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
A good way to manage anxiety is to tend to your feelings.
When we clamp down on or ignore feelings, the probability of anxiety showing up on our doorstep is pretty much guaranteed.
That's because our feelings get distorted when we don't pay attention to them. You could even say they get anxious.
The interesting thing about feelings is how powerful they can seem until we look them in the eye.
Try the following process the next time you are upset:
Find a spot where you will be undisturbed. Close your eyes and begin to increase the length of your inhalations and exhalations.
Then make yourself feel the feeling you've been trying to ignore. That's right - feel the feeling that is available.
Hold that feeling. Really examine it. Concentrate on it.
Hold it until it starts to morph into a feeling that is deeper and less agitated - a feeling that you weren't aware of when you were in the grips of the anxious feeling.
I know it is hard to believe, but as the initial feeling and the anxiety both dissipate, another more authentic feeling will wiggle its way into the scene.
When this happens, roll out the red carpet for this is the feeling that deserves your attention.
Authentic feelings are workable. Surface feelings mixed up with anxiety can cause lots of trouble.
Our pal anxiety is no match for a genuine feeling.
Note: In the interest of time, you may stop reading at this point as you have already learned the anti-anxiety technique. However if you need extra credit, read the example below:
Let's say you are angry your friend didn't show up for a scheduled lunch. This is not the first time and you are angry. You stay with the anger. You begin to feel furious with her and then you recognize that you are also mad at yourself for this planning this meeting when you didn't really have time in your schedule.
If you focus intensely on the anger at your friend and the upset at yourself, both will begin to fade in intensity. As they fade, you may witness a shift from anger to hurt.
You realize that the real feeling isn't anger, the real feeling is hurt. Hurt that she didn't remember you. Plus there is a nagging feeling of disappointment with yourself because once again, your inner knowing was forgotten. Not only do you feel betrayed by your friend, you feel betrayed by yourself.
Imagine the next meeting with your friend and how it will go if you are still feeling the red hot anger.
Then imagine at the next meeting you tell her you felt hurt she didn't meet you for lunch and you missed her. Let's make this a big imaginaging and add that you've forgiven yourself for not listening to your inner knowing.
Your friend can hear the hurt. It will not be as easy for most people to hear anger, especially anger that is tainted with self-blame.
The hurt feelings are the real feelings and that is why they can be heard. The hurt feelings are the truth.
Thank you for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
Friday, February 10, 2012
Uncovering Anxiety Post 7
We will be exploring the mystery of anxiety for the next several weeks by looking at ways to recognize and manage this prominent mental characteristic.
Did you notice when anxiety is a dinner guest you feel moody and out of sorts? I'm not surprised.
Anxiety has the same properties as a sheer black curtain: everything seen through anxiety is dark and distorted.
Reality tends to be more manageable if it is not shaded with anxiety.
Things clear up when you employ a Sudoku strategy: don't get in a hurry, identify the correct answers by exclusion, proceed to plug in what will work.
Not only does anxiety cast a negative tint, it puts a rush job on everything.
Rushing makes it difficult to stay in the moment.
Anxiety can't stand mindfulness; anxiety likes chaos.
Slow down and savor your life while you are showing anxiety to the door.
Thank you for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
Did you notice when anxiety is a dinner guest you feel moody and out of sorts? I'm not surprised.
Anxiety has the same properties as a sheer black curtain: everything seen through anxiety is dark and distorted.
Reality tends to be more manageable if it is not shaded with anxiety.
Things clear up when you employ a Sudoku strategy: don't get in a hurry, identify the correct answers by exclusion, proceed to plug in what will work.
Not only does anxiety cast a negative tint, it puts a rush job on everything.
Rushing makes it difficult to stay in the moment.
Anxiety can't stand mindfulness; anxiety likes chaos.
Slow down and savor your life while you are showing anxiety to the door.
Thank you for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
Friday, February 3, 2012
Anxiety closed or open? soft or hard? #6
We will be exploring the mystery of anxiety for the next several weeks by looking at ways to recognize and manage this prominent mental characteristic.
When not saddled by anxiety, do you have a feeling of openness and gentleness towards yourself, towards those around you, and towards the situation you are in?
I bet your answer is yes.
When under the influence of anxiety you may find that authentic feelings of openness and gentleness are not available.
Under the influence of anxiety, body language becomes more closed.
Anxiety has a hard demeanor.
If you are like most of us, you will try to disguise your hardness and discomfort.
You may laugh and joke even when things aren't funny as humor is one of our defenses. Defenses are by their very nature impenetrable, at least from the outside.
The next time you are anxious, try to soften your body. This is similar to the age-old advice to take a deep breath.
Relax your tongue.
Do everything you can to avoid hardening of thearteries anxiety.
When not saddled by anxiety, do you have a feeling of openness and gentleness towards yourself, towards those around you, and towards the situation you are in?
I bet your answer is yes.
When under the influence of anxiety you may find that authentic feelings of openness and gentleness are not available.
Under the influence of anxiety, body language becomes more closed.
Anxiety has a hard demeanor.
If you are like most of us, you will try to disguise your hardness and discomfort.
You may laugh and joke even when things aren't funny as humor is one of our defenses. Defenses are by their very nature impenetrable, at least from the outside.
The next time you are anxious, try to soften your body. This is similar to the age-old advice to take a deep breath.
Relax your tongue.
Do everything you can to avoid hardening of the
Friday, January 27, 2012
Expanding Space by Celebrating Uncertainty Part 5
If you have previously registered to receive an email letting you know when there are new posts on this blog - exploring the mystery - you will need to sign up again by clicking on the link above my picture to the right. Due to technical difficulties, that remain mysterious in keeping with the theme of this blog, all previous subscriptions were erased. Sorry for the inconvenience. Thank you for your patience.
As stated in a previous post, this is a read only blog. If after having contemplated a post you desire to comment, please feel free to email me. I will contemplate your offering and send you a response though it may take me several days. If you have suggestions for future topics, I would welcome them. This is a work in progress.
Now let's continue our exploration:
You were brave to invite anxiety and uncertainty into your home for dinner last week.
Anxiety breeds uncertainty and uncertainty breeds anxiety; both can leave quite a mess.
Let's investigate both of your guests:
Normally we walk through our daily lives feeling in control.
That is until an activity doesn't turn out like we planned; then we feel out of control and uncertain.
We may also begin feeling uncertain when everything around us seems to be constantly changing or people we depend upon die.
David Richo* believes because things do not always turn out like we plan and everything changes or ends are facts of life, acceptance will help us cope. He calls these facts "givens."
Knowing that life is by its very nature uncertain and that we don't have control over it gives us a platform to stand on.
As we become clear that life is uncertain, staying in a non anxious state of mind will make sense and be a little easier.
We can learn to "celebrate uncertainty."
Next week we will get to know anxiety.
*David Richo, How to Be An Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving, 2002
As stated in a previous post, this is a read only blog. If after having contemplated a post you desire to comment, please feel free to email me. I will contemplate your offering and send you a response though it may take me several days. If you have suggestions for future topics, I would welcome them. This is a work in progress.
Now let's continue our exploration:
You were brave to invite anxiety and uncertainty into your home for dinner last week.
Anxiety breeds uncertainty and uncertainty breeds anxiety; both can leave quite a mess.
Let's investigate both of your guests:
Normally we walk through our daily lives feeling in control.
That is until an activity doesn't turn out like we planned; then we feel out of control and uncertain.
We may also begin feeling uncertain when everything around us seems to be constantly changing or people we depend upon die.
David Richo* believes because things do not always turn out like we plan and everything changes or ends are facts of life, acceptance will help us cope. He calls these facts "givens."
Knowing that life is by its very nature uncertain and that we don't have control over it gives us a platform to stand on.
As we become clear that life is uncertain, staying in a non anxious state of mind will make sense and be a little easier.
We can learn to "celebrate uncertainty."
Next week we will get to know anxiety.
*David Richo, How to Be An Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving, 2002
Friday, January 20, 2012
Exploring space # 4: Uncertainty
In the first three posts for exploring the mystery, we wrestled with the concept of space. Our exploration revealed that space had a protective function for dilapidated barns and stone walls. We then speculated that space had a protective function for our lives.
I am hoping you have discovered at least one way to create protective space for yourself.
Finding space in our daily lives can be relatively simple. Take a few minutes to gaze at the full moon. Watch snow flakes cover the ground. Sit at the dinner table after the food is gone instead of immediately rushing off to the next task.
If you are not feeling compelled to rush off right this minute, we can begin exploring another aspect of space and discover that space is paradoxical. We have seen how space can give us strength; now we will learn how having space can sometimes create havoc.
A mystery dinner is exciting because you are not certain who the villain is.
Space, like a mystery dinner, contains uncertainty.
Perhaps we find it difficult to find needed space in our crowded schedules because we fear the uncertainty of unscheduled time.
In this case, anxiety is likely the villain.
Uncertainty is anxiety's first cousin.
In the spirit of exploration, invite the villain and his/her relatives to dinner this weekend. When they arrive, create a space to "celebrate uncertainty" together and experience what happens.
I am hoping you have discovered at least one way to create protective space for yourself.
Finding space in our daily lives can be relatively simple. Take a few minutes to gaze at the full moon. Watch snow flakes cover the ground. Sit at the dinner table after the food is gone instead of immediately rushing off to the next task.
If you are not feeling compelled to rush off right this minute, we can begin exploring another aspect of space and discover that space is paradoxical. We have seen how space can give us strength; now we will learn how having space can sometimes create havoc.
A mystery dinner is exciting because you are not certain who the villain is.
Space, like a mystery dinner, contains uncertainty.
Perhaps we find it difficult to find needed space in our crowded schedules because we fear the uncertainty of unscheduled time.
In this case, anxiety is likely the villain.
Uncertainty is anxiety's first cousin.
In the spirit of exploration, invite the villain and his/her relatives to dinner this weekend. When they arrive, create a space to "celebrate uncertainty" together and experience what happens.
Friday, January 13, 2012
The Wonder of Space - Part 3
Dilapidated barns with spaces between the boards. Stone walls constructed with large spaces among the stones. What mysterious topics to explore.
Undoubtedly you have discerned that space is what strengthens the barn and the wall.
Space can strengthen us.
It is not easy to leave an empty space empty.
A schedule jammed with activities leaves no space for us to experience contemplation.
My Dad believed the neighbor's dilapidated barn was likely to outlast him. He had an inner knowing that the space between the boards was what gave it the strength to remain standing. He was right on both counts.
The wise among us know that space is valuable.
How much space do you need in 2012?
Undoubtedly you have discerned that space is what strengthens the barn and the wall.
Space can strengthen us.
It is not easy to leave an empty space empty.
A schedule jammed with activities leaves no space for us to experience contemplation.
My Dad believed the neighbor's dilapidated barn was likely to outlast him. He had an inner knowing that the space between the boards was what gave it the strength to remain standing. He was right on both counts.
The wise among us know that space is valuable.
How much space do you need in 2012?
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Friday, January 6, 2012
The Wonder of Space - Part 2
The sudden appearance of fifty-seven cows in Mariana Cook’s front yard could mean only one thing: the dry stone wall that marked the boundary between her property and her neighbor's property had fallen down.
Mariana, a professional photographer trained by Ansel Adams, walked the length of the wall on her side to determine where the wall had crumbled. She noticed for the first time how carefully the wall had been constructed and what a beautiful structure it was.
When she learned that dry stone walls, built by farmers to clear their fields of stones, were meeting the same sad fate as family farms, she traveled the world extensively to see them for herself. She was determined to photograph as many as she could.
On the Shetland Islands, dry stone walls made without mortar have been in existence for thousands of years. The walls on the island are called "lace" walls because of the large spaces between the stones.*
To Mariana many of the "lace" walls looked precarious, much like Dad's neighbor's dilapidated barn looked to me.
How could a wall remain standing when there was so much space between the stones?
What do you think?**
*To those of you who need to see the wall for yourself: 1. Find the book, Stone Walls, Personal Boundaries by Mariana Cook and look at page 94.
2. Google: "Stone Walls Shetland Islands," then click on "For the Love of Walls" article and scroll down to the fifth picture.
**This blog is designed as a read only blog.
I will be asking questions a psychoanalyst might ask if you were lying on her couch.
An analyst expects you to contemplate what you think, feel, and know in order to develop personal knowledge of your internal world.
Contemplation by its very nature slows things down.
"Contemplation is always a revolutionary act. It subverts the daily tedium and searches for the kernel of meaning hidden at the center of each thing," Beverly Lanzentta*** writes in Radical Wisdom (2005).
While you are interacting with this blog, see if you can have the
experience of contemplative space.
I am curious what you will learn from this process. If there is something you would like to share with me, feel free to email me.
***Beverly Lanzentta was cited by Christine Valters Paintner in the Artists's Rule (2011). Christine is the online abbess of www.AbbeyoftheArts.com.
Mariana, a professional photographer trained by Ansel Adams, walked the length of the wall on her side to determine where the wall had crumbled. She noticed for the first time how carefully the wall had been constructed and what a beautiful structure it was.
When she learned that dry stone walls, built by farmers to clear their fields of stones, were meeting the same sad fate as family farms, she traveled the world extensively to see them for herself. She was determined to photograph as many as she could.
On the Shetland Islands, dry stone walls made without mortar have been in existence for thousands of years. The walls on the island are called "lace" walls because of the large spaces between the stones.*
To Mariana many of the "lace" walls looked precarious, much like Dad's neighbor's dilapidated barn looked to me.
How could a wall remain standing when there was so much space between the stones?
What do you think?**
*To those of you who need to see the wall for yourself: 1. Find the book, Stone Walls, Personal Boundaries by Mariana Cook and look at page 94.
2. Google: "Stone Walls Shetland Islands," then click on "For the Love of Walls" article and scroll down to the fifth picture.
**This blog is designed as a read only blog.
I will be asking questions a psychoanalyst might ask if you were lying on her couch.
An analyst expects you to contemplate what you think, feel, and know in order to develop personal knowledge of your internal world.
Contemplation by its very nature slows things down.
"Contemplation is always a revolutionary act. It subverts the daily tedium and searches for the kernel of meaning hidden at the center of each thing," Beverly Lanzentta*** writes in Radical Wisdom (2005).
While you are interacting with this blog, see if you can have the
experience of contemplative space.
I am curious what you will learn from this process. If there is something you would like to share with me, feel free to email me.
***Beverly Lanzentta was cited by Christine Valters Paintner in the Artists's Rule (2011). Christine is the online abbess of www.AbbeyoftheArts.com.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
The Wonder of Space - Part 1
Initial posts in 2012 will be exploring the concept of space. What properties does space have? How much space do you need? Does your life have enough space?
My father was a man of few words.
An only child for eighteen years, he learned early in life that the teasing and practical jokes played on him by three bachelor uncles and four spinster aunts increased the more he protested.
In self defense, he developed the ability to "pull your leg" when you least expected it.
When visiting his farm, the ritual after supper was to sit on old- fashioned webbed aluminum lawn chairs and gaze at the horizon. One night Dad surprised me by predicting that the neighbor's dilapidated barn, which was marring our view, would last forever.
To me, the barn looked fragile as a house of cards.
There were huge spaces where the wind had blown boards off the structure. There were almost more spaces than there were boards.
Did Dad’s prediction have merit or was he pulling my leg?
What Do You Think?
My father was a man of few words.
An only child for eighteen years, he learned early in life that the teasing and practical jokes played on him by three bachelor uncles and four spinster aunts increased the more he protested.
In self defense, he developed the ability to "pull your leg" when you least expected it.
When visiting his farm, the ritual after supper was to sit on old- fashioned webbed aluminum lawn chairs and gaze at the horizon. One night Dad surprised me by predicting that the neighbor's dilapidated barn, which was marring our view, would last forever.
To me, the barn looked fragile as a house of cards.
There were huge spaces where the wind had blown boards off the structure. There were almost more spaces than there were boards.
Did Dad’s prediction have merit or was he pulling my leg?
What Do You Think?
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