Friday, January 27, 2012

Expanding Space by Celebrating Uncertainty Part 5

If  you have previously registered to receive an email letting you know when there are new posts on this blog - exploring the mystery - you will need to sign up again by clicking on the link above my picture to the right. Due to technical difficulties, that remain mysterious in keeping with the theme of this blog, all previous subscriptions were erased. Sorry for the inconvenience. Thank you for your patience.

As stated in a previous post, this is a read only blog. If after having contemplated a post you desire to comment, please feel free to email me. I will contemplate your offering and send you a response though it may take me several days. If you have suggestions for future topics, I would welcome them. This is a work in progress.

Now let's continue our exploration:



You were brave to invite anxiety and uncertainty into your home for dinner last week.

Anxiety breeds uncertainty and uncertainty breeds anxiety; both can leave quite a mess.

Let's investigate both of your guests:

Normally we walk through our daily lives feeling in control.

That is until an activity doesn't turn out like we planned; then we feel out of control and uncertain.

We may also begin feeling uncertain when everything around us seems to be constantly changing or people we depend upon die.


David Richo* believes because things do not always turn out like we plan and everything changes or ends are facts of life, acceptance will help us cope. He calls these facts "givens."


Knowing that life is by its very nature uncertain and that we don't have control over it gives us a platform to stand on.


As we become clear that life is uncertain, staying in a non anxious state of mind will make sense and be a little easier.


We can learn to "celebrate uncertainty."

Next week we will get to know anxiety.




*David Richo, How to Be An Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving, 2002
















Friday, January 20, 2012

Exploring space # 4: Uncertainty

In the first three posts for exploring the mystery, we wrestled with the concept of space. Our exploration revealed that space had a protective function for dilapidated barns and stone walls.  We then speculated that space had a protective function for our lives.

I am hoping you have discovered at least one way to create protective space for yourself.

Finding space in our daily lives can be relatively simple. Take a few minutes to gaze at the full moon. Watch snow flakes cover the ground. Sit at the dinner table after the food is gone instead of immediately rushing off to the next task. 

If you are not feeling compelled to rush off right this minute, we can begin exploring another aspect of space and discover that space is paradoxical. We have seen how space can give us strength; now we will learn how having space can sometimes create havoc.

A mystery dinner is exciting because you are not certain who the villain is.

Space, like a mystery dinner, contains uncertainty.

Perhaps we find it difficult to find needed space in our crowded schedules because we fear the uncertainty of unscheduled time. 

In this case, anxiety is likely the villain.

Uncertainty is anxiety's first cousin.

In the spirit of exploration, invite the villain and his/her relatives to dinner this weekend. When they arrive, create a space to "celebrate uncertainty" together and experience what happens.

















Friday, January 13, 2012

The Wonder of Space - Part 3

Dilapidated barns with spaces between the boards. Stone walls  constructed with large spaces among the stones.   What mysterious topics to explore.

Undoubtedly you have discerned that space is what strengthens the barn and the wall.

Space can strengthen us.

It is not easy to leave an empty space empty.

A schedule jammed with activities leaves no space for us to experience contemplation. 

My Dad believed the neighbor's dilapidated barn was likely to outlast him.  He had an inner knowing that the space between the boards was what gave it the strength to remain standing. He was right on both counts.

The wise among us know that space is valuable.

How much space do you need in 2012?

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Friday, January 6, 2012

The Wonder of Space - Part 2

The sudden appearance of fifty-seven cows in Mariana Cook’s front yard could mean only one thing: the dry stone wall that marked the boundary between her property and her neighbor's property had fallen down. 

Mariana, a professional photographer trained by Ansel Adams, walked the length of the wall on her side to determine where the wall had crumbled. She noticed for the first time how carefully the wall had been constructed and what a beautiful structure it was.

When she learned that dry stone walls, built by farmers to clear their fields of stones, were meeting the same sad fate as family farms, she traveled the world extensively to see them for herself. She was determined to photograph as many as she could.

On the Shetland Islands, dry stone walls made without mortar have been in existence for thousands of years. The walls on the island are called "lace" walls because of the large spaces between the stones.* 

To Mariana many of the "lace" walls looked precarious, much like Dad's neighbor's dilapidated barn looked to me.

How could a wall remain standing when there was so much space between the stones? 

What do you think?**
 
*To those of you who need to see the wall for yourself:
1. Find the book, Stone Walls, Personal Boundaries by Mariana Cook and look at page 94.
2. Google: "Stone Walls Shetland Islands," then click on "For the Love of Walls" article and scroll down to the fifth picture.


**This blog is designed as a read only blog.
I will be asking questions a psychoanalyst might ask if you were lying on her couch.

An analyst expects you to contemplate what you think, feel, and  know in order to develop personal knowledge of your internal world. 

Contemplation by its very nature slows things down.
"Contemplation is always a revolutionary act. It subverts the daily tedium and searches for the kernel of  meaning hidden at the center of each thing," Beverly Lanzentta*** writes in Radical Wisdom (2005).

While you are interacting with this blog, see if you can have the
experience of contemplative space.

I am curious what you will learn from this process. If there is something you would like to share with me, feel free to email me. 
***Beverly Lanzentta was cited by Christine Valters Paintner in the Artists's Rule (2011). Christine is the online abbess of www.AbbeyoftheArts.com.
 

Sunday, January 1, 2012

The Wonder of Space - Part 1

Initial posts in 2012 will be exploring the concept of space. What  properties does space have? How much space do you need? Does your life have enough space?


My father was a man of few words. 

An only child for eighteen years, he learned early in life that the teasing and practical jokes played on him by three bachelor uncles and four spinster aunts increased the more he protested. 

In self defense, he developed the ability to "pull your leg" when you least expected it. 

When visiting his farm, the ritual after supper was to sit on old- fashioned webbed aluminum lawn chairs and gaze at the horizon. One night Dad surprised me by predicting that the neighbor's dilapidated barn, which was marring our view, would last forever.

To me, the barn looked fragile as a house of cards. 

There were huge spaces where the wind had blown boards off the structure. There were almost more spaces than there were boards.

Did Dad’s prediction have merit or was he pulling my leg?


What Do You Think?