Woolf's Cotton Wool Moments- #19

I'm renewing my commitment to write short posts, posts that can be read in the "moment." Reading exploring the mystery is to help you  experience your humanness and know you are not alone.

When a post is trying to explore more than a moment's worth of material, I will end it. There will be weeks (like last week) when you will feel the type of frustration I used to experience between episodes of the old fashioned TV soap operas.  

So what are cotton wool moments? My guess is you have felt something akin to them. Last February I was in a cotton wool moment while waiting for surgery. 

Dani Shapiro* explains there are days when she is trapped in what Virginia Woolf called cotton wool. She describes this as a dazed, unfocused state in which the hours collapse, one flattening into the next. 

Have you ever had moments like this? Please share your cotton wool moments with me and our community of explorers! And I'd love to know how short posts work for you. 

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
* Dani Shapiro, page 60 of Still Writing: The Perils and Pleasures of a Creative Life (2013)

The Present Moment in Cotton Wool - #18

Thanks for sharing your ideas on "living in the moment" and "living for the moment." The comment section has several bits of wisdom. 

Dealing with the ubiquitous television noise which was competing with piped in radio rackett in the dermatology waiting room this week was a challenge for me. I am used to silence.    

Despite my initial irritation, without much effort I was able to block out both sounds. I just didn't pay attention to them.

During the type of meditation I practice, the focus is on the breath. Susan Piver, my meditation mentor, always reminds us that the mind will continue to make thoughts because that is what the mind does. The instruction is to watch the thoughts come in and then watch them go out. Don't get attached to them.   

If you don't meditate you can use this advice to not get too wound up in your thoughts. Remembering that the mind's job is to produce thoughts, we can decide how much attention we want to pay to them. 

I hope you are able to wait to find out how cotton wool is related to the present moment as I've run out of space. I promise to fill you in next week. In the meantime, pay attention to the moment you are in and have a deviled egg on me!

Thanks for exploring the mystery of moments - Nicky Mendenhall

So What Does It Feel Like To Be In The Moment? #17

My attempts to be in the moment have brought to my attention a feeling akin to my knees standing guard over my feet. I doubt that makes sense - it's kind of hard to explain; truly a weird feeling. I think it is the opposite of feeling grounded.

When there is a question of this magnitude, I ask my sons. My oldest son was visiting. I told him my feeling of hovering over my feet and he advised me to pay attention to my legs. This has helped.  Feeling grounded is a great feeling and I want more of it!

Part of being in the moment must be feeling grounded - to the earth. I want to understand what else is involved in being in the moment but first I want to explore this question with you:

What is the difference - if there is one - in the saying "live for the moment" and the saying "live in the moment"? Do you feel different when someone says "live for the moment" than you do when someone says "live in the moment"?

What is the difference between for and in? Let me know what you think. If you don't think there is any difference, just hit reply to this email and say NO. 

Thanks for exploring the moment's mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

The Paradox of Aging - #16

Have you ever noticed that when you are ready to hear a message,  you see it wherever you look?  I keep bumping into the idea that most of the time people fight through the trauma of an accident or the shock of receiving a "bad" diagnosis. 

When my medical scare with NPH took place in late 2016,  I don't think I knew this. Fearing needles my entire life and horrified at drastic medical procedures I'd heard of others having to endure,  , giving up seemed an option,

Of course I didn't say this out loud. Luckily my analyst and husband, sons and grandchildren, were able to help me see a different picture. 

In an article by John Leland, Sunday New York Times this week, I read this statement: "The truth is, people get better. An acute accident (and I add a scary diagnosis) doesn't have to be the end."

The article pointed out that when people have a premature feeling of when the end begins, it is harmful in terms of what care they seek. I think this speaks to what I was experiencing. When I couldn't walk and didn't believe I ever would again, it seemed like the end. I didn't want to seek the care I needed.

In the same article, gerontologists reported that the paradox of old age is that as people's minds and bodies decline, instead of feeling worse about their lives, they feel better. 

Does this seem like a true paradox to you? What is the hardest thing about getting older for you? Do you feel ready to fight for your life when troubles appear?

Thanks for exploring the mystery of paradox!  Nicky Mendenhall