Wisdom: Knowing when to take time off - #61

Preparing this 61st post, it occurred to me that a long term goal of mine has been realized: I am writing on a regular basis.  

Beginning in the mid-1970's and and continuing into the 80's, I repeatedly pledged to the members of the Young Mother's Group (during the goal setting portion of our monthly meetings) that I wanted to write faithfully in my journal.  I felt envious when hearing others talk about the joys of journal writing. To this day I am jealous of people in coffee shops who are writing whether it be in their moleskin journal or on their laptop.

Publishing sixty exploring the mystery posts has strengthened both my discipline and my willpower muscles. Writing has given me ample contact with my emotions, taught me persistence, and introduced me to the world of blogging. 

Some of the minutes spent in front of the computer were excruciatingly difficult. Most of the hours spent writing were curiously satisfying. The feeling that you were all out there cheering me on has been extremely motivating.

And now it feels time to take a break from publishing for the month of March. The next post will be published on April 5, 2013.  You could say that I have decided to take a sabbatical (without pay unless readers and clients send in checks!).

My professional office will close on February 26th and reopen on March 26th, 2013.  Time off will include relaxing, traveling, practicing Tai Chi, Qi Gong, and reading (where did all those books come from?). 

Since you won't be reading and thinking about exploring the mystery, you will have a break too. Is there something else in your life that you want to take a break from in the month of March? 

One of the blogs I read online is written by Arjuna Ardagh. I just found an article he wrote after the tragedy at Sandy Hook School. It is very different from the other articles we've read. I found it very uplifting. You can find it here:   http://arjunaardagh.com/swimmin/

 

Thanks to all of you who have been faithfully reading and commenting either on the blog, by emails, or in person. You helped me meet a long term goal.

 

Go to the blog to make comments in the comment section.

Strange Bedfellows: Kudzu and Feelings - #60

Though exploring the mystery's nine-week series on feelings officially ends today, we will likely revisit this topic because it is so central to our well being.

In this series we became aware of how difficult it can be to stay with and honor our feelings.  We also learned about kudzu, a strange plant that while initially difficult to grow, smothers everything in its path once it takes root. 

Maintaining contact with your feeling side may feel as difficult as trying to get kudzu to grow. We may then fear that once connected with our feelings, they will become as difficult to control as kudzu. 

The best way to gain expertise with our feelings is to pay attention to them and share them with trusted others. Listen for other people's expression of feelings and see what you learn.

Many thanks to Dr. Wyatt for the list of suggestions we've been working with in previous posts. Here, for your enjoyment, is her last one:

Breathe. During the pain and agony of childbirth one of the most helpful tools for coping with discomfort and controlling anxiety is regular, timed breathing. Remember to do your own deep breathing exercises whenever you are engaged in interactions of conflict or deep pain. And ask others to follow you by taking some deep breaths, as well, before beginning a difficult discussion.

When I lay down on the acupuncture table for a treatment,  Beth*, my acupuncturist often says, "Remember to breathe."

When she says this, I notice that I have been scarcely breathing.  We could say the kudzu has smothered me. With this prompting, I take a deep breath. The breath expands my lungs and fills my belly. I'm free once again. 

Our body manages our automatic breathing; we can be grateful because as busy as we all are, some of us might not remember to inhale and exhale. 

Deep breathing takes a good deal of will-power. Willpower in this case is defined as the ability to do what matters most. It goes without saying that breathing fits that category.

Breathing is an aid you can use to call upon your feelings. While you are exploring the breath, see if you can feel the warmth of your breath in your belly. 

Please breathe deeply.

Next week, a special announcement.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

*Beth Terrell (and Bill Terrell) practice at Iowa Acupuncture Clinic, 8230 Hickman Road, Suite B, Clive, IA 50325. You can friend them on Facebook: Iowa Acupuncture Clinic.



To comment, click on exploring the mystery at the bottom of this email to go to the blog.

Feelings* - #59

 I didn't want to listen to the news after the shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary School on December 14, 2012. The gory details elicited painful feelings. I chose to distance from the news and then from my feelings.

This wasn't a totally new strategy on my part. The defense mechanism of denial has kept me away from painful feelings for years. 

Denial, as a protective strategy, probably seemed like a good idea initially. Warnings not to feel "that way" were  issued to me even as a young child and have continued to this day.

To complicate matters, somewhere the idea that if you paid attention to your feelings, let's say you identified one, this feeling was then The Truth. Feelings were "right" and you let them determine your course of action. You had no choice - if you knew how you felt -you had to take action whether it made sense or not. 

And lastly,I got the idea that you could only feel one feeling at a time. If you were sad, you were sad - there was no room for other feelings.

These rules affirmed my penchant to keep feelings at a distance. 

Eight weeks ago I determined to stop distancing from my feelings. Then the question arose: what are options for dealing with feelings?

This is when I enlisted you in the search.

It has been quite a journey. It helped me to know you were in the passenger seat.

During this exploration, in addition to the suggestions of posts 51-58, I unearthed three new ideas: 

1. Feelings are what makes us human, therefore it is imperative that we don't automatically distance from them. Being in solidarity with others by feeling our feelings is how we feel connected to the web of human kind. It is healthy for our sense of well being to feel connected.

2. No matter how powerful the feeling we discover, we are not duty bound to rush right out and take action. When we stay with feelings, we will learn that there are layers and layers of feelings included in one feeling. Staying with a feeling is going to take lots of patience and time. Eventually you will know what to do. 

3. There isn't really any feeling that doesn't have tinges of another feeling. So while this post is mostly serious in nature, be sure to look at what the * offers.  

How do you work with your feelings? I'd love to know.

*To listen to Engelbert Humperdinck's 4:21 minute rendition of Feelings - supposedly the last song Elvis sang - just google Engelbert Humperdinck Feelings. (Disclosure - I only made it to 3:33 minutes of the YouTube video)

Next week we will close this series with the last item on Dr. Wyatt's list. You won't want to miss it.



Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

 
 
 

 

Consciousness 101 - #58

The last four weeks we've been following Dr. Wyatt's suggestions for raising our level of consciousness.

I began wondering earlier this week what the word consciousness means to Dr. Wyatt. Then I began to question what it means to me. 

I decided not to get too mystical or philosophical in my investigation because I wanted to see how far I could get using common words. In my opinion, philosophy and mysticism use  ten-dollar words that confuse rather than inform.

Can we agree that consciousness is what gives the brain life -- that consciousness is the invisible life essence that animates the brain?*

I suspect that we all have different ideas when we hear  the "invisible life essence" phrase. I would love to know what your ideas are. 

One of the characters in the musical,The Book of Mormon, added his voice to a hotly contested debate about the origins of religion by shouting:   "It's all a metaphor!" 

What role does the invisible life essence play when we attempt to raise our level of consciousness?

What are trying to accomplish when we strive to raise our level of consciousness? 
 
Here are more of my questions and what I hope happens for me as I continue to raise my level of consciousness:

The capacity to be in the present moment. With enough practice, will I get to the place where the rhythm of inhalations and exhalations calm me and provide a sense of constant companionship? 

A keener awareness of reality. What would this mean when there is a tragedy - would I be more able to stay with the pain or would I be even more tempted to run away?

An expanding sense that connections with others are deepening and becoming life-giving. New evidence indicates that our brain is social and prospers with interaction. How much interaction feeds me and when does interaction begin to drain me?

A heightened sense of positive self compassion. Will I actually finish Neff's** book this year and implement some of her ideas or will I continue to be a hard task master for myself?

Thanks for exploring the mystery of consciousness with me - Nicky Mendenhall

* Joe Dispenza, D.C., Evolve Your Brain (2007)., page 65.

**Kristin Neff, Ph.D., Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up And Leave Insecurity Behind (2011)., (I'm ready to start Chapter 10!)