Unintended Consequences - #57

 

 Visiting the southeastern part of the United States years ago, my eyes were fascinated by the storybook-looking-curvy-green landscape. My wide eyes couldn't stop looking - I wanted the magic to go on forever. My parents didn't seem very excited and informed me that I was seeing kudzu.

My ears loved the word kudzu! I was enchanted with how beautifully the vine covered everything - everything that stood still that is. 

It was a real shock to my tree-loving heart to discover that kudzu smothers live trees. 

Imagine my confusion when I learned that kudzu had been purposefully imported from Japan and China in the early 1900's. The people responsible (who understandably remain anonymous) didn't give up when kudzu was slow and expensive to get established. Now, nearly impossible to eradicate, kudzu is a real problem. 

The point of this story ?

Whoever decided to import kudzu must have thought it was for the greatest good.

They were wrong.

That's why it is important when you are seeking to do the greatest good for all to be certain to search extensively for all the relevant information, refuse the obvious solutions to problems because often the obvious is wrong, refrain from intervening when unnecessary, and work towards both-and solutions.

Have you ever rushed in to do something you thought was "good" and caused harm?

All of us have. Please share with us the unintended consequences you can claim as your own. Go to the blog by clicking on link at bottom of email and comment. Go to Google if you want to see pictures of kudzu.

Thanks for exploring the mystery. Nicky Mendenhall

 

STEP 3: What Is The Cost of Misunderstanding? - # 56

Dr. Wyatt's* third suggestion for raising our level of consciousness:

Seek the greatest good for all.   

Mrs. Long**, my favorite Sunday School teacher, often uttered Biblical-sounding prouncements about goodness to our unruly second-grade class.  Most of the time she was staring at me, at least that's how it felt. Perhaps I misunderstood the nuances of her missionary zeal because after I graduated from second grade, I spent the remaining years of my childhood, a large proportion of my teenage years, and a huge percentage of my young adulthood trying to be a good girl.

Recently I determined that wearing a Red Hat with the rebellious ladies of the same name was now more my style. I didn't even want to write about goodness!

But then the word SEEK jumped out at me. Wait a minute I thought. Seek implies searching. Searching implies effort. Effort suggests action. Action requires discernment. Discernment needs internal and external research.

It takes seeking, searching, effort, action, and discernment to determine what will be "good" for all. All these steps take time. Here are some suggestions from Dr. Wyatt on how to do this:

Refuse to accept easy or obvious solutions that might alienate one group or another. The best path through tragedy is one that brings divergent groups together respectfully with wisdom and vision and without hidden, self-seeking agenda. Work toward “both-and” solutions rather than “either-or.”
 
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

 
*Karen Wyatt, MD, is a family physician who has spent much of her twenty-five-year career as a hospice medical director. The author of What Really Matters: 7 Lessons for Living from the Stories of the Dying (Select Books, 2012), Dr. Wyatt has lectured and written extensively on end-of-life issues with an emphasis on the spiritual aspect of illness and dying. To learn more, go to www.karenwyattmd.com.

**Not her real name. She's now in Witness Protection Program. 

Tracking The Elusive Highest Perspective - #55

This week we proceed to Dr. Wyatt's* second offering:

Take the highest possible perspective. Remember to have compassion for all points of view, even when they differ from your own. Consider with equal understanding the fear felt by parents who perceive their children to be at risk in our violent society, and the fear felt by gun-owners who cherish their weapons as well as their constitutional right to own them.

What follows is my experience with suggestion two:

Monday morning I sit in front of my laptop. Decide free E-book offer from Tricycle too good to pass up. 

Tricycle website requires me to sign in which of course means remembering a user name and password.  No clue about password. Click on I forgot, return to inbox, receive email, select new password. Get scolded - password strength is "weak."  

Much to my dismay, signing in is just the first step. A multi-page Tricycle application needs data.  It seems never ending. 

I derive hope from the Buddhist doctrine of impermanence. 

Finally I see flashing on my screen: "Congratulations Nicky - you have purchased a free E-book." 

Unfortunately that's all. There is no indication how to actually download this suddenly-seeming not-so-free E-book.

Muttering under my breath, "it has to be here somewhere," the search begins. Where is the phone # that just mere seconds ago was prominently displayed? Several minutes later the 800 number appears. I call the number, remain on hold for several minutes while listening to unsatisfying music, then hear: "Your call did not go through."

Needless to say - I no longer have the highest possible perspective towards this transaction. My attic perspective is rapidly sliding towards the basement.

My four-year-old self wants to yell and stomp her feet on the way down.  My internal twins, self-criticism and harsh judgment, are resuscitated by all the confusion.

The twins are full of complaints and accusations. Neither of them are worried about the highest possible perspective: "Nicky, why are you so computer illiterate?" and "Those darn Buddhists had no intention of giving away an E-book!" 

Before my perspective plunges to the root cellar, I walk away. I get ready for Tai Chi class.

Checking email before leaving the house, I find two emails from Tricycle in my inbox.

One graciously thanks me for my purchase.

The other provides a link where I easily download my free E-book.

I wonder what it would take for me to maintain the highest possible perspective in situations like this?

Do you find yourself keeping the highest possible perspective most of the time, some of the time, or occasionally?

Go to the blog and let us know how you keep your perspective at the highest possible perspective. We all need to know!

Thank you for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

***Karen Wyatt, MD, is a family physician who has spent much of her twenty-five-year career as a hospice medical director. The author of What Really Matters: 7 Lessons for Living from the Stories of the Dying (Select Books, 2012), Dr. Wyatt has lectured and written extensively on end-of-life issues with an emphasis on the spiritual aspect of illness and dying. To learn more, go to www.karenwyattmd.com.