This is the ninth month we've been exploring the mystery -the perfect time to begin using the comment feature offered by blogspot. Now you can send comments to me while at the same time sharing them with others - we will be creating a virtual community.
My plan is to keep posts short so you can read quickly, have time to reflect, and post your comment whenever you are ready. (If you haven't already, check the helpful comments for Post #35.)
When you are ready to comment, or read others comments, go to the blog: www.NickyMendenhall.blogspot.com. There is no guarantee where you will land on the page - you may have to scroll up or down to find the word Comments. Anytime you don't know what to do, scroll or click on or around the word Comments. Write in the box that will be provided.
Last week Bob* challenged me to experience a "jolt of thought."
Visiting the Buddhist Relics,** during their tour stop in Des Moines, provided me an opportunity to be jolted.
My friend's invitation was irresistible: "Come with me - the energy vibrations of the relics last night were palpable - you can't miss this!"
My previous attempts to feel "energies" has been very disappointing. Silently a pact was made with myself, go to this event and if you don't feel anything you can in good conscience never try again.
When we arrived there was a huge line - that was my first surprise. Second surprise was the ease experienced while standing in line for one and a half hours.
My belly relaxed, my breath flowed smoothly, and contrary to my usual feeling of overwhelm in huge crowds, there was instead a feeling of calmness as we slowly shuffled forward.
After circling the relics, there were stations where one could kneel down for a blessing. Mine was offered by a Zen priest who whispered indecipherable words as she lowered a stupa (ornate pedestal) down on my head.
There are few words to describe this third surprise. I experienced a flow of energy between us that stunned me - you might say it was a jolt. At the time there didn't seem a need to label it and honestly. there still isn't.
I stood up and maintained eye contact with the Zen priest as I backed away. We both grinned from ear to ear. Wandering across the room to sit on a chair, I continued to experience warmth in my body. The best way to describe my feelings at this point: connectedness to everything.
This extraordinary experience was, for me, an example of what I heard Bob encouraging me to try - stay with the energy in the body. Do not try to analyze it but instead savor it; then see what changes in your life.
Have you ever had an experience like this? What changed as a result?
Thanks for exploring the mystery with me - I truly appreciate your continuing presence. Nicky Mendenhall
*You can learn more about Bob Klein by visiting his website: www.movementsofmagic.com.
**Google Buddhist Relics in Des Moines for detailed information
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If you would like to make a comment on this post, read earlier posts in this series, subscribe to receive an email when there is a new post, or read this post on the blog, visit www.NickyMendenhall.blogspot.com
Friday, August 31, 2012
Friday, August 24, 2012
The Jolt of Thought - #35
Monday night my interior landscape was tumultuous.
This confused and disorderly mental state was triggered by re-reading post #34.
What had appeared an elegant essay a few days before, now sounded like a mishmash of ideas. Each week there has been at least one email, usually two emails from people responding; the fun part is that each week different readers respond. This particular week there weren't any emails - not even from Bob Klein! Maybe the post didn't make sense to anyone.
David Bayles and Ted Orland write in their book, Art & Fear* that virtually all artists encounter moments when quitting is contemplated. Writers even have a phrase for it -"the pen has run dry." Bayles and Orland make a distinction between quitting and stopping with the former happening only once and the latter all the time.
It was comforting to know that my discouragement wasn't unique. With a conviction to stop, not quit, I went to bed.
Twenty-four hours later this showed up in my inbox:
Dear Nicky,
What a gentle way for Bob Klein to give feedback; my conviction that he is a skillful teacher was affirmed. As often happens when one works with a master teacher, I wasn't certain what he meant or how to do what he suggested.
While I'm working on this challenge ----------- here's where you as readers come in. You probably have ideas about the exercise Bob prescribed for me and I would guess for my readers. Or do you have thoughts about attention - how has paying attention to attention changed your life?
exploring the mystery is almost nine months old! WE are going to birth something new!
Beginning with this Post - #35, you are invited to make comments right here on the blog. Tell me what you think, pose questions you may have, or state how you disagree. At the bottom of each post there will be the word Comments. Click on the word Comments. A box will pop up for you to write in. This first time it would be fun for me if you would send me a greeting - it doesn't have to be profound but it certainly can be! Just say hi! Your comments will be seen by others and you can see what other people say. Together we can learn more than we can separately.
Note:You may have to visit the blog in order for this to work - we don't know yet if it will work from your Saturday morning email or not. To visit blog just click on this link: www.NickyMendenhall.blogspot.com
*Art & Fear, Observations On The Perils (and Rewards) of ARTMAKING by David Bayles & Ted Orland (1993).
Thank you for being willing to explore the mystery.
- Nicky Mendenhall
This confused and disorderly mental state was triggered by re-reading post #34.
What had appeared an elegant essay a few days before, now sounded like a mishmash of ideas. Each week there has been at least one email, usually two emails from people responding; the fun part is that each week different readers respond. This particular week there weren't any emails - not even from Bob Klein! Maybe the post didn't make sense to anyone.
David Bayles and Ted Orland write in their book, Art & Fear* that virtually all artists encounter moments when quitting is contemplated. Writers even have a phrase for it -"the pen has run dry." Bayles and Orland make a distinction between quitting and stopping with the former happening only once and the latter all the time.
It was comforting to know that my discouragement wasn't unique. With a conviction to stop, not quit, I went to bed.
Twenty-four hours later this showed up in my inbox:
Dear Nicky,
I see that you are trying to relate what I wrote to anxiety and
you are coming from a psychoanalytical perspective. I admit I am a bit
confused by this blog and so rather than commenting on it, I would suggest an
exercise. It is called the "jolt of thought". When a
thought is about to pop up inside your mind, choose not to figure out what it
is and pay attention instead to the feeling of the thought entering you.
Don't say it to yourself in words. Purposefully choose to not know what
the thought is, even though you know that one has popped into you. (Don't
do this while driving). I think this experience, if practiced on a steady
basis, will explain a lot.
Sincerely,
Bob
While I'm working on this challenge ----------- here's where you as readers come in. You probably have ideas about the exercise Bob prescribed for me and I would guess for my readers. Or do you have thoughts about attention - how has paying attention to attention changed your life?
exploring the mystery is almost nine months old! WE are going to birth something new!
Beginning with this Post - #35, you are invited to make comments right here on the blog. Tell me what you think, pose questions you may have, or state how you disagree. At the bottom of each post there will be the word Comments. Click on the word Comments. A box will pop up for you to write in. This first time it would be fun for me if you would send me a greeting - it doesn't have to be profound but it certainly can be! Just say hi! Your comments will be seen by others and you can see what other people say. Together we can learn more than we can separately.
Note:You may have to visit the blog in order for this to work - we don't know yet if it will work from your Saturday morning email or not. To visit blog just click on this link: www.NickyMendenhall.blogspot.com
*Art & Fear, Observations On The Perils (and Rewards) of ARTMAKING by David Bayles & Ted Orland (1993).
Thank you for being willing to explore the mystery.
- Nicky Mendenhall
Friday, August 17, 2012
Can Attention Allievate Anxiety? - #34
Does your anxiety wax and wane depending on factors hidden from your conscious awareness?
Bob Klein* has provocative, albeit elusive means of enhancing our ability to live a less anxious life.
To describe a paradigm very different from ours, he uses words. Words imply he is going to give us the final answer. On the contrary, Bob wants us to feel and experience our own reactions. These words are not to be memorized. They are to be experienced.
In the spirit of full disclosure, Bob wasn't specifically asked a question about anxiety. I am unpacking four pages of material he emailed earlier with the conviction that an answer is in there ready to be discovered.
Be prepared for frustration; a definitive answer will not be divulged at the end of this post.
Most of us picture attention residing in our heads because that is where our eyes are located. Using our eyes, we "place" our attention on an object, thought, or physical feeling.
When we become tired, we move our attention with our eyes to another object, thought or feeling. This method limits us to seeing/experiencing the surface of one thing at a time. "Eye" attention gives us a non-systemic surface view of the world.
This one-dimensional view soon irritates us like a scratchy tag on our new shirt. We crave the depth, the height, the inner and the outer energy that allows us to use all our senses.
When we can't pursue our passions, we quickly become bored.
Are you beginning to discern one cause of anxiety?
It isn't natural to constrain our focus of attention to the mere surface of things. We are curious creatures and to defend against our need to relish the depths makes us dissatisfied and anxious.
We employ the defense of denial to not know what we sense but can't see. When we deny our feelings of unease, our anxiety doesn't disappear - it goes underground. It then takes a good deal of our psychological energy to keep it hidden. When it threatens to erupt, our anxiety increases.
We are sneaking up on the causes of anxiety. Tune in next week to continue the chase.
Thanks for exploring the mystery with me - I truly appreciate your attention. Nicky Mendenhall
*You can learn more about Bob Klein by visiting his website: www.movementsofmagic.com.
If you would like to read earlier posts in this series or subscribe to receive an email when there is a new post or read this post on the blog, visit www.NickyMendenhall.blogspot.com
Bob Klein* has provocative, albeit elusive means of enhancing our ability to live a less anxious life.
To describe a paradigm very different from ours, he uses words. Words imply he is going to give us the final answer. On the contrary, Bob wants us to feel and experience our own reactions. These words are not to be memorized. They are to be experienced.
In the spirit of full disclosure, Bob wasn't specifically asked a question about anxiety. I am unpacking four pages of material he emailed earlier with the conviction that an answer is in there ready to be discovered.
Be prepared for frustration; a definitive answer will not be divulged at the end of this post.
Most of us picture attention residing in our heads because that is where our eyes are located. Using our eyes, we "place" our attention on an object, thought, or physical feeling.
When we become tired, we move our attention with our eyes to another object, thought or feeling. This method limits us to seeing/experiencing the surface of one thing at a time. "Eye" attention gives us a non-systemic surface view of the world.
This one-dimensional view soon irritates us like a scratchy tag on our new shirt. We crave the depth, the height, the inner and the outer energy that allows us to use all our senses.
When we can't pursue our passions, we quickly become bored.
Are you beginning to discern one cause of anxiety?
It isn't natural to constrain our focus of attention to the mere surface of things. We are curious creatures and to defend against our need to relish the depths makes us dissatisfied and anxious.
We employ the defense of denial to not know what we sense but can't see. When we deny our feelings of unease, our anxiety doesn't disappear - it goes underground. It then takes a good deal of our psychological energy to keep it hidden. When it threatens to erupt, our anxiety increases.
We are sneaking up on the causes of anxiety. Tune in next week to continue the chase.
Thanks for exploring the mystery with me - I truly appreciate your attention. Nicky Mendenhall
*You can learn more about Bob Klein by visiting his website: www.movementsofmagic.com.
If you would like to read earlier posts in this series or subscribe to receive an email when there is a new post or read this post on the blog, visit www.NickyMendenhall.blogspot.com
Friday, August 10, 2012
Attention: Freudian Slip - # 33
Did any of you notice the erroneous word in Post #32?
(Prize to first reader who identifies word and emails me.)
Much to this author's chagrin, my promise last week regarding the topic for this week used an inadvertent word.
Being a wet behind the ears neo-Freudian (you know how zealous new converts can be) when my eyes connected with the unintended word, the analysis began in earnest. My desire to formulate an interpretation that would reveal my unconscious motive was strong. Suddenly I wished to discover a motive so evolutionary in scope that it would transform my life and the lives of my faithful readers before sunset.
Results of analysis?
Initially: Nothing.
After a period of contemplation: Mistaken word energy might have been my unconscious bringing to my attention the energy experienced while practicing Tai Chi. This energy is detected mostly in my hands and is a combination of pulsing or tingling sensations; sensations never believed available to me.
Honestly it is difficult for me to believe that my unconscious was involved in what otherwise might be labeled a senior moment. But the exercise to probe for meaning was interesting and, while it didn't transform me or I assume you, there is a new clarity about the importance of Tai Chi in my life and gratitude seems appropriate for this gift.
Maybe you didn't even notice the sudden insertion of the word energy instead of attention. Do you pay attention to Freudian slips in your life? How do you find meaning in your life?
Now on to the important business of describing yin attention!
Feelings of spaciousness accompany the state of yin attention. The interior space and silence provided by authentic yin attention offer respite from the blistering heat of summer. The rapid pace of time is soothed by yin attention's quality of connection and fluidity.
Yin attention becomes possible when we have the ability to let go of our need to know and instead trust ourselves to discern the answers we need when we need them. It is easy to say the words "let go" - they roll off our tongues easily. The surrender required often defies our best efforts.
Yin attention has qualities of connection and fluidity. We can begin to see how everything is connected when we are in this space. Picture the four points of the compass and how easily the needle shifts from one direction to another.*
In contrast, consider a ladder as the symbol of yang attention (BTW pronouncing yang with tang sound is also acceptable according to Bob Klein**). When we are climbing a ladder, we have a definite destination in mind. None of the spaciousness or flexibility present in yin attention is available to us.
Next week we will learn more about how yin and yang attention work together.
Thanks for exploring the mystery with me - I truly appreciate your attention.
Nicky Mendenhall
*The idea of contrasting points on a compass and the function of a ladder came from Cynthia Bourgeault. Although Bourgeault used these ideas in a different context, I want to express my gratitude to her. Found in Centering Prayer and Inner Awakening (2004), pp. 66-67.
***You can learn more about Bob by visiting his website: www.movementsofmagic.com.
If you would like to read earlier posts in this series or subscribe to receive an email when there is a new post, visit www.NickyMendenhall.blogspot.com
(Prize to first reader who identifies word and emails me.)
Much to this author's chagrin, my promise last week regarding the topic for this week used an inadvertent word.
Being a wet behind the ears neo-Freudian (you know how zealous new converts can be) when my eyes connected with the unintended word, the analysis began in earnest. My desire to formulate an interpretation that would reveal my unconscious motive was strong. Suddenly I wished to discover a motive so evolutionary in scope that it would transform my life and the lives of my faithful readers before sunset.
Results of analysis?
Initially: Nothing.
After a period of contemplation: Mistaken word energy might have been my unconscious bringing to my attention the energy experienced while practicing Tai Chi. This energy is detected mostly in my hands and is a combination of pulsing or tingling sensations; sensations never believed available to me.
Honestly it is difficult for me to believe that my unconscious was involved in what otherwise might be labeled a senior moment. But the exercise to probe for meaning was interesting and, while it didn't transform me or I assume you, there is a new clarity about the importance of Tai Chi in my life and gratitude seems appropriate for this gift.
Maybe you didn't even notice the sudden insertion of the word energy instead of attention. Do you pay attention to Freudian slips in your life? How do you find meaning in your life?
Now on to the important business of describing yin attention!
Feelings of spaciousness accompany the state of yin attention. The interior space and silence provided by authentic yin attention offer respite from the blistering heat of summer. The rapid pace of time is soothed by yin attention's quality of connection and fluidity.
Yin attention becomes possible when we have the ability to let go of our need to know and instead trust ourselves to discern the answers we need when we need them. It is easy to say the words "let go" - they roll off our tongues easily. The surrender required often defies our best efforts.
Yin attention has qualities of connection and fluidity. We can begin to see how everything is connected when we are in this space. Picture the four points of the compass and how easily the needle shifts from one direction to another.*
In contrast, consider a ladder as the symbol of yang attention (BTW pronouncing yang with tang sound is also acceptable according to Bob Klein**). When we are climbing a ladder, we have a definite destination in mind. None of the spaciousness or flexibility present in yin attention is available to us.
Next week we will learn more about how yin and yang attention work together.
Thanks for exploring the mystery with me - I truly appreciate your attention.
Nicky Mendenhall
*The idea of contrasting points on a compass and the function of a ladder came from Cynthia Bourgeault. Although Bourgeault used these ideas in a different context, I want to express my gratitude to her. Found in Centering Prayer and Inner Awakening (2004), pp. 66-67.
***You can learn more about Bob by visiting his website: www.movementsofmagic.com.
If you would like to read earlier posts in this series or subscribe to receive an email when there is a new post, visit www.NickyMendenhall.blogspot.com
Friday, August 3, 2012
The Complexity of Attention - # 32
You undoubtedly have noticed exploring the mystery is fixated on the concept of attention.
Much to my delight, Bob Klein* continues to provide email comments for us to ponder. Doing so, he adds fuel to my enthusiasm.
Writing helps process information, so buckle your seat belts. We are going to clarify, add new insights, and begin deepening our understanding of what we've learned in the past six posts.
According to Klein, the nature of unskillful attention is to condense. Think of it this way, whether our goal is making, saving, giving, or spending money, our tendency is to tense up when we focus on our desired outcome.
This tension condenses our attention. Soon all we can think about is our plan. We may cut off from others because we want to get away from the pressure and mistakenly judge that the pressure is external when in reality it is internal.
Condensed attention usually contains fear which can easily snuff the joy out of any desire.
Fear can lead to obsessiveness if our progress appears to be threatened. Some of us, despite the fruitless nature of trying to control life, fear loss of control.
These are examples of trapped Yang (pronounced with same sound as yawn) attention.
When we are able to dissolve the condensation of our attention, attention expands and softens. Then we move into Yin attention.
Next week we will explore yin energy.
Those dealing with medical treatments that require technical precision to heal the body and the use of symbols and images for healing the mind/psyche, will need to cultivate mostly yang attention.
Yang attention helps us focus on the task at hand. Cultivated yin attention can offer relief from the stress present in dealing with the medical community but a focus on following Doctor's orders and listening to Self is primary for this season.
This week, notice when your attention becomes trapped. Set it free! Email me if you have comments or questions.
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
*You can learn more about Bob by visiting his website: www.movementsofmagic.com.
If you would like to read earlier posts in this series or subscribe to receive an email when there is a new post, visit www.NickyMendenhall.blogspot.com
Much to my delight, Bob Klein* continues to provide email comments for us to ponder. Doing so, he adds fuel to my enthusiasm.
Writing helps process information, so buckle your seat belts. We are going to clarify, add new insights, and begin deepening our understanding of what we've learned in the past six posts.
According to Klein, the nature of unskillful attention is to condense. Think of it this way, whether our goal is making, saving, giving, or spending money, our tendency is to tense up when we focus on our desired outcome.
This tension condenses our attention. Soon all we can think about is our plan. We may cut off from others because we want to get away from the pressure and mistakenly judge that the pressure is external when in reality it is internal.
Condensed attention usually contains fear which can easily snuff the joy out of any desire.
Fear can lead to obsessiveness if our progress appears to be threatened. Some of us, despite the fruitless nature of trying to control life, fear loss of control.
These are examples of trapped Yang (pronounced with same sound as yawn) attention.
When we are able to dissolve the condensation of our attention, attention expands and softens. Then we move into Yin attention.
Next week we will explore yin energy.
Those dealing with medical treatments that require technical precision to heal the body and the use of symbols and images for healing the mind/psyche, will need to cultivate mostly yang attention.
Yang attention helps us focus on the task at hand. Cultivated yin attention can offer relief from the stress present in dealing with the medical community but a focus on following Doctor's orders and listening to Self is primary for this season.
This week, notice when your attention becomes trapped. Set it free! Email me if you have comments or questions.
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
*You can learn more about Bob by visiting his website: www.movementsofmagic.com.
If you would like to read earlier posts in this series or subscribe to receive an email when there is a new post, visit www.NickyMendenhall.blogspot.com
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