Abbess Advises Jumping into River of Grief - #53

My motivation to expand rather than contract in the face of painful feelings needs consistent reinforcement.

Both ancient wisdom teachings and modern psychological systems encourage us to pay attention to internal feeling states. Because the ancients and the moderns agree on the folly of denying feelings, there are many resources available to guide us when we have the courage to meet our feelings face-to-face. 

We've heard a Buddhist perspective, now please stay with me as we open to a Christian viewpoint.

Sometimes the  word "Christian" causes us to shut our ears. We don't want to entertain Christian dogma that makes no sense to our scientifically trained minds. We put cotton in our ears to protect us from  the harsh, judgemental words we have come to expect from the fundamentalists. But rather than throwing the baby out with the bathwater (after all it is the Christmas season) let's listen with an open mind and heart to:

Christine Valters Paintner* the online Abbess of  Abbey of the Arts. The Abbey is a virtual monastery that offers a variety of online classes, reflections, and resources with a focus on the integration of contemplative practice and creative expression. 

I "met" Christine during an online class and found her guidance for my writing and meditation practice to be most helpful; it was not a surprise when her response to the Newtown tragedy was inspiring.

She graciously gave permission to share her words:

In the wake of so much grief over the unimaginable violence at Sandy Hook elementary school last week, I invite you to let sorrow have its place in you. 

I have no easy answers, and people who claim God's will somehow at work in the violence itself are offering trite answers to a mystery that is greater than our understanding. 

Our response must be to stand witness to the terrible things done, to grieve and know the fullness of our own humanity, and to cherish those we love dearly and hold them close. 

We are reminded again and again that life is a fleeting gift.  Sometimes it slips away in illness and sometimes stolen brutally. 

There are no words of solace. 

We must simply be with the great sadness of loss and know that these wounds and places of being broken open are where the grace enters.  We must commit again to make this one life matter.

One simple act you can do in response to this heartbreaking thievery of human life is to let yourself feel the deep grief of it. 

Notice when you want to push it away, or numb yourself, or find a distraction. 

This capacity to sit with the pain and let it work its way through you is the first and fundamental response.

The second response is an embrace of love as the deepest and truest thing, what makes life bearable under the most grievous of circumstances. 

Hold someone you love close, make amends with a loved one with whom you had a falling out. 

Extend yourself in this circle of love.  These things matter deeply. 

Then comes the hard work of conversation and change of policy and ways to protect lives more vigorously. 

But this work must emerge from a place that has allowed the river of grief to flow through and the deep well of love to nourish and sustain. 

We must remember the extravagant source of life** as we consider the reality of death.

Next week we will learn from a practitioner of Integral Theory six steps we can practice to midwife higher levels of consciousness. 

Special note: It was brought to my attention over Christmas break that not everyone agrees focusing on our feelings after National tragedies is necessary. What do you think? How do you deal with disasters that aren't in your neighborhood or your part of the world? Please use the comments section to tell us what you think.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

*Christine Valters Paintner is the online Abbess of Abbey of the Arts and the author of 7 books on monastic spirituality and creativity, as well as an artist, spiritual director, retreat facilitator, and teacher. She earned her PhD in Christian Spirituality from the Graduate Theological Union in Berkeley and her professional status as Registered Expressive Arts Consultant and Educator (REACE) from the International Expressive Arts Therapy Association. In July 2012, she began living out her commitment as a Benedictine Oblate in the beautiful city of Vienna, Austria with her husband.  

Christine Valters Paintner, PhD
www.AbbeyoftheArts.com

**Italics mine.

Weep, Sob, Rage; Weep, Sob, Rage - #52

The last email you received from exploring the mystery was mysteriously dated Wednesday, though I posted it on Thursday, a day I actually thought was Friday.  Since today is Friday, my usual day to publish, it seemed prudent to publish again.

Susan Piver* is a writer, teacher, and New York Times best selling author. Last year I attended a workshop she offered on Fearless Writing and found Susan to be authentic whether she was teaching us meditation or encouraging us to write.

The day after the horrific events in Newtown, Susan received a request from one of her students to write a reflection on the tragedy. Initially she thought it would be too hard but, thankfully for us, later wrote what I want to share with you. 

Susan's response was the first article I discovered that offered practical ways to stay with my feelings instead of distancing from them.

My hope is that you will find direction and comfort from her words. This is an excerpt, if you wish to read the entire essay, click on her website address below. 

Susan's words are to be read slowly and meditatively:

Using ideas to treat or metabolize feelings is ineffective.

Then what? I’m afraid that there are only a very few things we can do other than to be absolutely, irredeemably heartbroken. Weep, sob, rage. Weep, sob, rage.   

Every time your mind tries to tell you, “this is because of poor gun control,” or “this world is rotten, terrible and I have to ignore it in order to survive,” and/or “if mental health care was better, we could help people before they explode into violence,” please ask it to wait.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t act. WE SHOULD. But before we act, we should feel. Let your heart break. Let down your guard. There is a strange redemption in heartbreak.

In your own way, you could open your heart to the suffering of all who have been directly involved.

Relax your mind and then think:

For all of you children who lost your lives and may now be wandering bereft and confused, I share your suffering with you. In return I offer you my peace.

Breathe in their suffering. Breathe out your peace.

For all of you parents who lost your children, I share your unspeakable suffering with you. May I take even the tiniest bit of your sorrow and rage into my own heart to relieve you of it. In return, I send you my strength.

Breathe in their suffering. Breathe out your strength.

For all of of you children who lived through this horrific day, I share your suffering with you. May I take in your fear and your nightmares. I send you my bravery.

Breathe in their suffering. Breathe out your bravery.

For the officials of the state of Connecticut and of this country who now must bear witness and act, I share your suffering with you. May I take in your doubt and confusion about what to do and how to feel. I send you my confidence and compassion.

Breathe in their suffering. Breathe out your confidence and compassion.

Then, as best you can, relax your mind and sit quietly for a few minutes or a few lifetimes.

We can’t leave out that someone committed this crime. We might hate the horrible monster who did so. We might condemn and excoriate him. I’m not saying don’t do that. It’s not useful (especially to you), but it is human. The only thing we cannot do under any circumstance is think that we are any different than he is.

It would take a very big person to offer compassion to the perpetrator and I for one am not capable of it today. But while I cannot feel kindhearted, nor will I permit myself to imagine that if I lived his life, I would not be just like him.

In the meantime, tonight I will wrap my arms around those I love and, recognizing the extraordinary fragility of our lives, give thanks for the preciousness of our time together. Truly the only solace is in the dharmas of love, compassion,and fierce warriorship.

Next we will explore words from Christine Valters Paintner.

exploring the mystery of feelings takes an open heart and courage.

Thanks for being with me. Please go to the blog and comment - I

would love to hear from you.  Nicky Mendenhall


*www.susanpiver.com/open-heart-project/ 


For the wonderful comment section - unfortunately you will have to scroll down several inches - thanks!

 

 

 

http://susanpiver.com/blog/

Feelings: An Essential Component In First Aid Kit - # 51

The senseless tragedy in Newtown has made me aware that I handle overwhelming feelings by distancing from them. 

My pattern of distancing, not paying attention to feelings, occurs in other areas of my life. 

I attribute this, at least partially, to being told, "Don't feel that way" or "you shouldn't feel that way."  These phrases encouraged me to ignore or distance myself from feelings. 

These phrases are misguided. Feelings can be signals from the unconscious. Feelings point us toward issues that need our attention.  Feelings make us human.

After a lifetime of running from feelings, facing them may seem impossible; it isn't surprising that we don't know where to begin.

When I determined that I didn't want to push my feelings about Newtown down into my belly, I began researching the web for suggestions on how to skillfully use the feelings of sorrow and disbelief.

Statements from Susan Piver, Dr. Christine Valters Painter and Dr. Karen Wyatt encouraged me, each in their own way, to be with and learn from my feelings. These women represent (in order listed) Buddhist, Christian, and Integral points of view. Each of them graciously gave permission to quote them.

Reading their ideas has helped me honor my feelings and learn from them; my hope is that you will also find solace from reading these words.

Next week we will begin our exploration with words offered by Susan Piver.

This post is a heads up - pay attention to any feeling that tries to make itself known to you. It is puerile to ignore our feelings. The holiday season will give you ample opportunity to explore feelings.

In the comments section, please share your experiences with feelings. This year, do you miss family members who are no longer present? Are you disappointed in yourself? Do you feel lonely or bored? Remember - boredom is a feeling. Are you filled with joy and gratitude this year and don't know how to feel about others less fortunate?

Thanks for joining me on an exploration of feelings -
                                                                  Nicky Mendenhall

Worksheet D: Is Holiday Stress Inexorable*? - #50

Gird your loins: Worksheet D.  

Question: What do you do when you feel discombobulated, stressed, or overwhelmed? In other words, how do you respond to discomfort?

Ask someone close to you what you do during stressful times - he or she will most likely gift you with inexorable feedback. It's my guess you already know your ugly, aggressive, and selfish parts and don't need the intractable pain of having them gleefully enumerated once more.

Historically (or hysterically as the case may be) my tendency when overwhelmed has been to deny that anything is troubling me. "I'm fine! What's your problem?" 

I am not advising this strategy. 

Do you deny your feelings of stress, fatigue, sadness, angry upset or any other so-called negative emotion?  Does the idea of telling someone how you are feeling put a frog in your throat? Do you want to learn how to express yourself when you experience these normal states of being?

The art of expressing ourselves when we feel less-than-optimal is not difficult, it is just not easy to do.

Try to express real feelings in a clear non-blaming, non-judgemental way. Pay attention and you will find - once you get the hang of it - that claiming your feeling state won't take as much energy as denying it.

Say: "I feel stressed out - would you excuse me while I take a break?" not "Why do you have to chew your food so loudly?"

Not so surprisingly, people tend to respond more positively when we admit we are overwhelmed instead of blaming or criticizing them. 

Begin by saying, "I feel" and then list the main feeling you are having. Do this in a non-judgemental, non-blaming way.

The rest of this year, when the urge to deny your uneasy feelings arises, pledge to express them. 

Look at it this way - you will surprise the heck out of the people around you! They may feel discombobulated by your new adult behavior. You don't have to react in the most perfect way - just do something different and see what happens!

Thanks for making time to explore the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

*Inexorable is a word I found while reading Van Gogh: The Life, an excellent biography written by Naifeh and Smith. I would like to add inexorable to my vocabulary.  Can you help me accomplish this goal by writing a sentence using inexorable and post it in the Comments section? Then see if you can locate the other new word in this post. Thanks for your help.

Remember you need to go the Blog by clicking on the words exploring the mystery at the bottom of the email you are reading. When you arrive, click on the Comments section. It would be great to hear from you!

1st Aid Kit For Surviving Holidays - #49

Since it is true that we only see what we look at - let's look inside a psychological first aid kit. 

Worksheet A:  First - make a list of every holiday activity or situation between now and January 2, 2013, that you dread. 

Other people's annoying behavior will likely be a primary focus of your list. Examples: they never contribute their fair share, they are irresponsible and thoughtless, they eat too much or eat too little, they are always late.

Worksheet B: Aid will be readily available to anyone who has a clear understanding of the following point:  There is nothing you can do to change any of this horrendous behavior.

No one will deny how seductive and tempting it is to reform/save/educate the other. Which is to say I need to keep my missionary zeal on a leash, especially until January 2, 2013.

Instead - repeat after me: "Nothing I can do will change the behavior of other people."

Worksheet C: Realize that none of these behaviors has anything to do with you. 

In other words: Don't personalize. If you can observe these behaviors from an objective stance, you will be surprised how much easier holiday gatherings will unfold.

Don Miguel Ruiz,* author of The Four Agreements, writes:

"When you take things personally, then you feel offended, and your reaction is to defend your beliefs and create conflicts."

Next week, we will find more Aid for the season. Let me know what you need to have happy holidays?

As always, thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

*Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements, 1997. (page 51)


 

 

 

 
 

 

Do You Want To Meet Who You Are?- #48*

We've been exploring the mystery for nearly a year! Today we tackle the mystery of Who We Are.

Recently Ivan Granger published a poem by Dorothy Waters** on his fantastic website, Poetry Chaikhana.*** Reading his daily selections for the past three years has seduced me; there are now a few poems in my inchoate collection. The seduction occurred while reading Ivan's sensitive and helpful commentaries after each selection. 

Exploring the citation provided for Dorothy's work, I found a poem we will be exploring today. When the decision was made to share it with you,  I emailed Dorothy to request her permission. Within the hour she called me!

This was a glorious surprise. We chatted as if we were long time friends and in a sense, we were; there is a copiously underlined copy of her 2002 book, Unmasking the Rose, on my bookshelf. She generously said that from her vantage point of 84 years, my 67 was quite young. This forever endeared her to me.

I shared with her that poetry was a new interest of mine; that in the past, poems didn't make sense to me. She said with a chuckle, "You weren't reading the right poems!"

So I present her poem to you hoping that it is the right poem for you.  Force yourself to read each line. Watch for words you like and savor them. See if you can learn something about yourself from this wise woman's words and let me know what you discover.

WHO YOU ARE

 

 

How the body is put together,

with its tender fastenings,

its mysterious openings,

its muscles working in

smooth coordination

to convey it

where it wishes to go,

how it changes

from year to year,

from day to day,

its cells working in a collusion

to carry it always

into a new configuration,

how the face communicates

its signals

 wherever it goes,

whether it is

happy or sad

or puzzled

or plotting,

how the inner and outer,

organs and coverings are part

of the same being,

the same oneness

that is bound together

to make the unique creation,

the one combination

that is you,

present here, now,

spirit's abode,

soul's habitation,

never to be encountered

again in time's endless cycles.

What new configuration are you being led to? Do you honor your uniqueness?

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

*Please note there will be at least one new-to-me word in each post. See if you can guess which word it is. Also tell me if I have misused a word, tell me if you like or intensely dislike a word in the post, or suggest a word you think I need to know.

**Used with oral permission, Dorothy Walters, The Ley Lines of the Soul: Poems of Ecstasy and Ascension (2012)

***Ivan Granger, http://poetry-chaikhana.com

You can easily access the comments section by clicking on exploring the mystery typed below.

 

As Promised, Tenzin's Photos



Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo

Tenzin has a no-nonsense attitude. Here's a quote from

Into the Heart of Life - her latest book:

"When everything is going well, we can be lulled into

thinking that we're much nicer and more advanced

than we actually are.

But it's when things don't go right,

when people don't do what we want,

when things don't work out the way we've planned -

that's when we learn."

Pay attention when things don't go "right" during the holidays.

 

When you are upset, see how far you can extend your compassion. 

 

Notice how much patience you can muster up.

 

 Share with us what you discover.

Thanks for exploring the mystery  - Nicky Mendenhall

How Miserable Can You Be During The Holidays? - #47

Born in London, Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo,* spent twelve years secluded in a Himalayan cave. Her most recent book, Into The Heart Of Life,**  is a collection of talks explaining Buddha's essential teachings; teachings she says we habitually and persistently deny.
 
Here's a thought from Tensen:  "The first sign of existence is dissatisfaction. Life as we normally lead it in our confused and very disturbed manner is not satisfactory." 

The Buddhist word to describe this unsatisfactoriness is dukkha. Dukkha is dis-ease. It describes times when things don't go the way we want them to go.

We much prefer sukha, which Tenzin writes means: ease, pleasure, everything going nicely; a sense of things going smoothly.

During the holiday season it becomes more difficult to handle our feelings of dissatisfaction. We feel peer pressure to be in the holiday mood. But what if this is the first or second year that our loved one is not at the table? What if we don't have enough money?  What if we are just not in the mood? 

Buddha's first noble truth is "Life is suffering." 

Christians sometimes give the impression that if you pray enough, believe in God, and do all the right things, there won't be suffering. I believed that for many years. When things didn't go the way I wanted them to, I figured it was my fault.

While I still remain wedded to my Christian roots, Buddhism has helped me be more comfortable with the unsatisfactory parts of life. 

Alex Lickerman***, MD., cites a growing body of research that shows our expectations profoundly influence how we experience life. If we are warned that an experience will be unpleasant, we find it easier to tolerate.

If we know there will be dissatisfaction in our lives no matter what we do, perhaps when something untoward happens, we won't blame ourselves. We will know that this discomfort is part of being alive. We can seek help. We can be gentle with ourselves.

It is a paradox: knowing we will suffer - we suffer less. It seems a mystery to me. Let me know what you think about life being unsatisfactory. Is this your experience? Is this a comfort or not?

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

*While touring India in 2004, I had the honor of meeting with Tenzin. With great temerity I approached her with my camera and inquired if it would be possible for me to photograph her. She reluctantly but graciously agreed. Look for her picture in a separate email this week. Be sure to look at her hands.

**Into The Heart of Life, Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo (2011).

***The Undefeated Mind: On the Science of Constructing an Indestructible Self, Alex Lickerman, MD. (2012)

Special note: It is necessary visit the blog to make comments. Click on exploring the mystery below to access it. See Post dated November 8 for full instructions.

Are You Rash or Reckless? - #46

What do you think - was tackling the word emptiness last week actually an act of temerity?

Yes, I'd say it was if we define temerity as boldness. Not so much if we define it as rash or reckless.

Giggling to myself and rolling my eyes, I am flabbergasted because the preceding two lines insist on their own font size. No matter what I do, they do their own thing! The audaciousness (a possible substitute for temerity) of these sentences!

Last week we explored the emptiness that many of us experience as we let go of old patterns. It can be a shock to have these empty feelings at the same time that we are celebrating new ways of being.

Bob Klein* informs us that when  he uses the phrase, "melting ice",  he means the melting of mental programming. This been-with-us-for-a-long-time programming wants us to stay the same. It warns us that the change we are contemplating is rash or reckless. 

Bob suggests that when we let go of this type of programming, the world becomes fluid and creative. I like thinking of my stubborn patterns dissolving and flowing away like ice melting.

During this Thanksgiving week, thank yourself for wrestling with these mysterious issues. You are in good company. Celebrate your temerity at increasing your capacity for tolerating uncomfortable feelings!

Thanks to all who made comments last week. If you haven't checked out the comments sections, be sure to do so. I'd love to hear what you are thankful for this year and what questions you have. In order to comment you have to go to the blog: www.NickyMendenhall.blogspot.com. What is the last rash or reckless thing you tried?

Thanks for exploring the mystery with me. Nicky Mendenhall

*You can learn more about Bob Klein by visiting his website: www.movementsofmagic.com.

Note - For instructions on making a comment, scroll until you find the post for November 8.

 

 

 

Emptiness - Full of Agony or Pregnant with Allure? - # 45

Special Note To Readers: There is one unfamiliar-to-me word (besides the "E" word) in today's post that I wish to add to my vocabulary. Kudos to first reader who identifies it in the Comments section and uses it in a sentence.

As time passes and my awareness level increases, I face a paradox: the more emptiness I allow myself to experience, the fuller my life becomes.

Elizabeth Mattis-Namgyel* suggests that the "E" word is a "packed" word; a word that takes considerable effort to understand. 

So it is with temerity that we approach the "E" word. 

Let's begin by asking what happens when our internal structures, the rules and ideas that have guided us for most of our lives, no longer make sense to us.

For me, the belief that there was a right way and a right answer has been a mainstay in my life. As this way of thinking about and being in the world begins to unravel, I face a vast open space.

This type of emptiness, experienced when the old becomes no longer feasible and the new is not yet established, can be a dark place full of confusion and anxiety.

This is because in emptiness, we come face to face with unwanted feelings and emotions. Many of us keep ourselves frantically busy so we don't have to deal with these emotions. I can tell when I'm not wanting to deal with something by the importance I place on attaining perfection in any task that is before me.

We  often fail to realize that working with fears and insecurities, instead of ignoring them, is the way we move from one developmental stage to another.   

"Emptiness signifies possibility," Elizabeth writes. It is likely one possibility for us will be increased authenticity. 

Emptiness gives room for new things to arise.

Slowing down and finding space (emptiness) is not for the faint of heart.  

This week, pay attention. Don't fill up the empty places too fast. Wander around in them and see what you can learn. Let me know what you discover.

Thanks for exploring the mystery with me - Nicky Mendenhall

*Elizabeth Mattis-Namgyel, The Power of an Open Question, 2011, pp. 43-44.

Bonus Bonus Post

Dear exploring the mystery fans,

One of my favorite people just let me know he was having trouble finding the comments section. This is not at all a puerile issue (as he feared). Locating the comments section isn't as straightforward as I have been making it sound.

The secret to accessing the comments section: go to the blog. You can't locate comments from the email itself.

Here's how to get to the blog:

Scroll to the bottom of any email you receive from exploring the mystery. 

On the bottom of this email you will see a phrase: You are subscribed to email updates from exploring the mystery


Clicking on the underlined section will take you directly to the blog!

When you arrive at the blog - you will see color!  Scroll down to where it says comments. Sometimes it will say No comments. Click on either one and like magic (there I go being puerile) a box will pop up where you can write your comment. You can preview if you like.

Push Publish when you are finished. You won't see it instantly as this is a moderated blog which means it is emailed to me for approval before it goes live on the blog.

The learning curve for technology is steep but it is part of exploring the mystery!  I'm eager  to read your contribution to the puerile discussion. While you are there, you can enjoy other people's comments.

Have fun!

Nicky Mendenhall

 

Bonus Post - Puerile

To exploring the mystery devotees, the word in post 44 that begs and whines and pesters to be acknowledged and used................. 
 
                                                    Puerile

1. of or pertaining to a child or to childhood

2. childishly foolish; immature or trivial: a puerile piece of writing.

Would you please take a moment to craft a sentence using puerile  and post it in the comments section?  I want this word to sink in and be available to me.

Thanks for your help!

And Now For Something Completely Different - #44

Were you surprised at the word egregious in last week's post title?

Your author was.

Reading Naifeh and Smith's biography of Van Gogh has me gob smacked at their extensive vocabulary. 

If you agree that a new word in your arsenal is concomitant to  money in the bank, you will be delighted at exploring the mystery's  new feature:

Each post will include a word that is new to me or a word that is familiar but one I've never made my own. If you read the entire post and don't find a new word, or a word you want to know more about, consider providing a word in the comments section for me to use in the future. 

On the other hand, if you don't feel a need to increase your stable of words, you have permission to skip over words you don't recognize - likely you won't miss much.

If, however, you exult when you spot an unfamiliar word, write it on a napkin. Stuff it in your pocket. Pull it out when your memory fails you. Say it every chance you can during the week. (Special note: If it's a paper napkin, remove from pocket before placing in the dirty clothes basket.)

This week I've been proclaiming to anyone who will listen: "The political commercials are egregious."

If you felt too puerile to look egregious up last week, let me assist you: egregious is an adjective that means (according to my amazonkindle dictionary):  Outstandingly bad; shocking.

Have a boisterous celebration of your vocabulary this week.

As always, thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
 
 

Is Egregious Envy A Change Agent? - #43

Jacob had a self-defeating neurosis.*

Jacob was full of envy for his twin brother Esau.

Feelings of hostility towards others is a characteristic sign of envy. Hostility for others is accompanied by feelings of dissatisfaction with oneself and critical feelings for one's own accomplishments.   

Last week's unsolicited phrase,"Jacob wrestling," is finally coming to fruition. Clinical psychologist Michael Abramsky proposes that when Jacob wrestled and wouldn't let go until he obtained a blessing, his transformation had begun. 

I have envied poets. I have envied people who can see past the mundane. I have been critical of myself for rushing past non-literal language.

Beginning to embrace poetry and metaphor, my internal landscape becomes saturated with peaceful unknowing. My bossy pants stay in the drawer more often.

This new place is richer and deeper. Ironically, self-trust is one of the necessary but difficult components. Friends who are a bit further down the path and who generously offer to guide the way, another. Quiet time, essential.

What type of transformation are you undergoing as 2012 comes to a close? Who or what are you wrestling?

Be sure to let me know in the comments section that you will find on the blog - click the link at the end of this email.

As always, thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

*I am indebted to Michael Abramsky for his study of Jacob that influenced the ideas presented in this blog post. "Jacob Wrestles the Angel: A Study in Psychoanalytic Midrash," by Michael Abramsky. Published by International Journal of Transpersonal Studies, 29(1), 2010, pp. 106-117.

 

Can You Wrestle Your Way to Health? - #42

Stop. Take a breath. Get ready to tackle the final sentences of Bob Klein's* "qualities of water" message.

Can you translate (find meaning) in his words: 

"Allow your inbreath to be like water evaporating from the surface of the lake and expanding upwards moistening the air.

"Allow your outbreath be like water sinking into the deepest earth moistening the ground.

"Then creativity and health can flourish."

I yearn to understand metaphorical/poetic language; I am loath to stray from literal mind.  

So imagine my astonishment when this thought appeared in my mind: Jacob wrestled.

Details were elusive. Who did Jacob wrestle? What were the results? Why did this story fragment show up now?

Being a twenty-first century woman, I queried Google. My eye lit on a new word: Midrash.

The Hebrew verbal root of Midrash is to investigate or explore. Since we are exploring mystery, I thought it prudent to investigate further.

Midrash, as described by Michael Abramsky,** is a genre of Biblical scholarship used to interpret the Bible in symbolic and inspirational terms.

What an amazing synchronicity! Is this what happens when we tune into our awareness? When we pay attention?

Your assignment for the week: when you are struggling to make sense of something or someone, pay attention to stray thoughts. Especially ones that seem "weird" to you. Follow up on them.  Believe me - when Jacob's story popped into my mind, it seemed very weird to me.

Be sure to go to the blog and write in the comments section.

Next week - find out what happened to Jacob. What and how can we learn from his transformation. 

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

*You can learn more about Bob Klein by visiting his website: www.movementsofmagic.com.

**"Jacob Wrestles the Angel: A Study in Psychoanalytic Midrash, by Michael Abramsky. Published by International Journal of Transpersonal Studies, 29(1), 2010, pp. 106-117.

 

How, When, and Where Do You Move? - #42

In previous posts, we have been advised to let ice thaw and water flow; melting and flowing suggest the importance of  movement in our lives. Last week we  pondered these images, offered by Bob Klein,* and celebrated when our protective armour softened and our bossy pants disintegrated.

Today, Bob describes a different style of movement: "the seedling breaks through concrete to reach the sun."  While the previous type of movement helped us release worn out patterns, now the movement propels us toward life in all its fullness.

My body connects to music. Yesterday while driving home, I punched the preset dial for Outlaw Country. Instantly there was  rhythm that resonated. The song was Snake Farm** and I couldn't sit still. Downloading the MP3 when I arrived home seemed essential. Now I am guaranteed five minutes of pure pleasure whenever I cue it up - all for only 99 cents. I double dare you to crank it up and not move! (This is not a song you buy for the profound lyrics.)

I met with a truly courageous client who recently was hospitalized for pulmonary embolism.  She's home now working on the delicate balance of moving enough and not moving too much.

I've been connecting with an inner sense of movement that provides a sense of ease for me. It has been amazing and in some respects, life changing. Finding my own personal movement means that it is always available to me as a grounding tool. This is courtesy of Kathy Kyar*** and the Trager method. Kathy explains:
 

The Trager Approach is offered through pleasurable, effortless movement to softly show the body and mind what is possible.  

I find that this movement re-education moves through my body/mind and into effortlessness in all places in my life.

When present to myself and others, I am ease.

Keep moving and let me know what you find when you pay attention to the movement in life.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall


*You can learn more about Bob Klein by visiting his website: www.movementsofmagic.com.

**Snake Farm [MP3 Download],From the album What The Hell Is Goin' On, By: Paul Thorn. Sold By: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.

***More from Kathy Kyar:

I have been a massage therapist for over 20 years.  In 2009, I embarked on the path of becoming a Certified Trager® Practitioner.  My path to certification was about two years long and along the path I began to learn a way to be truly present to clients while releasing my need to fix things. 

More information is available by contacting me (Kathy Kyar) at 515-201-7161 and from theTrager website at   www.tragerus.org .

 

 

CAN YOU FIND FANTASTIC COMMENTS?

There are new comments on exploring the mystery Post #41 that are worthy of your attention.Go to the blog: www.NickyMendenhall.blogspot.com  (you can click on this underlined address to be transferred to the blog). Click on the phrase, "2 new comments" (which is at the bottom of Post # 41). When you click, you will be directed to another screen where, for some mysterious reason, you will have to scroll up to read two new comments. Let me know if you have difficulties. It would be great if you would leave a comment too.

Thanks for exploring the mystery with me -

                                      Nicky  Mendenhall

What Happens When You Thaw Out? - # 41

Admittedly I have been tantalized, touched, and transfixed by Bob Klein's* words. Pursuing this further, I am beginning to be transformed by them.

Listen in your mind, or better yet read aloud the next three sentences from Bob's email. Is there a message in these words for you? 

"Allow the ice to thaw and the water to flow. Let it steep into the hardest stone and the driest earth so that life can begin to grow. Water softens the hardest seed, allowing it to grow." 

True to my habit of speed-reading suggestions like these, I skimmed them, felt my normal what-does-this-mean impatience, and determined there was nothing of immediate benefit for me. 

Nevertheless, I forced myself to hang out with these words unconsciously for forty-eight hours. Then bribing myself with chocolate, I decided to  ponder them in a more conscious state for a full fifteen minutes. 

Here's the fruit of my exploration: 

When I ponder these words as a unit, my body responds. I sense a type of internal movement, almost as if I can sense blood pulsing through my veins and hear the drum of my heart. (Don't be literal here!) 

Next, I eye the instruction to allow ice to thaw. Creating a soft focus internally invites the beginning of a melting sensation that is both visual and physical.  This sense of melting is real in the way that a metaphor is real. (Go ahead - Try it!)

In sharp contrast to my usual demeanor as a controlling need-to-know-what-the-plan is oldest daughter, this easing sensation pleasantly surprised me. To say it is difficult for me to soften and let go would be an understatement. I'm supposed to be in charge. I like to be in charge. (What's your usual demeanor?)

I'm aware that softening and letting go would transform me. I could be a much nicer person. I want to trust that not knowing what the plan is and not being in control is a viable stance. (What would make you a nicer person?)

When I discern that changes in my behavior are needed from a finely crafted metaphor, it is a humbling experience. On the other hand, I don't feel the embarrassment and shame that comes from being admonished to take off my bossy pants. 

Reading these words in silence, or out loud, allows me to soften. To begin the letting go process. To breathe deeper. To pay attention.

What helps you breathe deeper? Which patterns, objects, relationships do you want to let go of?

Tune in next week - there's still one more sentence in Bob's message to explore!

Please go to the blog www.NickyMendenhall.blogspot.com and leave comments.

As always, thanks for exploring the mystery.  Nicky Mendenhall

*You can learn more about Bob Klein by visiting his website: www.movementsofmagic.com.