Born in London, Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo,* spent twelve years secluded in a Himalayan cave. Her most recent book, Into The Heart Of Life,** is a collection of talks explaining Buddha's essential teachings; teachings she says we habitually and persistently deny.
Here's a thought from Tensen: "The first sign of existence is dissatisfaction. Life as we normally lead it in our confused and very disturbed manner is not satisfactory."
The Buddhist word to describe this unsatisfactoriness is dukkha. Dukkha is dis-ease. It describes times when things don't go the way we want them to go.
We much prefer sukha, which Tenzin writes means: ease, pleasure, everything going nicely; a sense of things going smoothly.
During the holiday season it becomes more difficult to handle our feelings of dissatisfaction. We feel peer pressure to be in the holiday mood. But what if this is the first or second year that our loved one is not at the table? What if we don't have enough money? What if we are just not in the mood?
Buddha's first noble truth is "Life is suffering."
Christians sometimes give the impression that if you pray enough, believe in God, and do all the right things, there won't be suffering. I believed that for many years. When things didn't go the way I wanted them to, I figured it was my fault.
While I still remain wedded to my Christian roots, Buddhism has helped me be more comfortable with the unsatisfactory parts of life.
Alex Lickerman***, MD., cites a growing body of research that shows our expectations profoundly influence how we experience life. If we are warned that an experience will be unpleasant, we find it easier to tolerate.
If we know there will be dissatisfaction in our lives no matter what we do, perhaps when something untoward happens, we won't blame ourselves. We will know that this discomfort is part of being alive. We can seek help. We can be gentle with ourselves.
It is a paradox: knowing we will suffer - we suffer less. It seems a mystery to me. Let me know what you think about life being unsatisfactory. Is this your experience? Is this a comfort or not?
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
*While touring India in 2004, I had the honor of meeting with Tenzin. With great temerity I approached her with my camera and inquired if it would be possible for me to photograph her. She reluctantly but graciously agreed. Look for her picture in a separate email this week. Be sure to look at her hands.
**Into The Heart of Life, Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo (2011).
***The Undefeated Mind: On the Science of Constructing an Indestructible Self, Alex Lickerman, MD. (2012)
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Friday, November 23, 2012
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Life will always have parts that are welcome and parts that are unwelcome. Accepting this helps me to be less fearful or disturbed when unwelcome events occur because I know that life is always changing - these things occur and they pass.
ReplyDeleteThis is, of course, easier to do if I have a cold than if I have cancer. Yet the principle is the same. I accept life as it unfolds - for to fight with my current reality (it shouldn't be this way!) only increases my suffering.
It is too bad that prayer is so often poorly understood. Many times we approach it seeking something we want - rather than seeking union with God. (I started to write more - and realized this is YOUR blog! I need to write on my own! Thanks for stirring thoughts...)
Hi Nicky,
ReplyDeleteWhen I read that part about Christians feeling that if they prayed, were good, did the right things, etc., they wouldn't have tough times, I thought......well, I never thought that! I believed that there would always be tests/trials/hard times and believing would help you get through them, and that was how we "grew". And that believing that Jesus was sent to save us was the main thing to believe in. I liked the part about being warned about unpleasant experiences making the experience not as unpleasant. It reminds me of the saying.....'what you worry about doesn't happen', although now I think maybe what you worry about might happen, but because you have been 'warned' about it, it's not as difficult to go through as you thought.
Nan