Out Out Darn Spot - #170

A drop of blueberry smoothie, the size of a large green pea, landed front and center on my favorite white crewneck shirt. I wasn't worried. I was confident that using "The Laundress Spot and Stain Remover" and "The Laundress Whites" formulas would save the shirt.

Two days of scrubbing the spot with a toothbrush, while adding more and more  product, (these products had never failed me) yielded a fainter spot but one that was still visible to all people except those waiting in line for cataract surgery.

My desire was for the darn spot to disappear!  I didn't want to accept the fact that my shirt now had an ugly stain and was for all purposes destroyed. 

What I wanted to happen, did not happen. 


Kathleen Dowling Singh* writes there are predictable sufferings in human life. She says that not getting what we want leads to suffering.

She continues: "Many times we double suffering by relating to it reactively."

A ruined shirt can be a disaster if one reacts to it by blaming one's self or The Laundress or anyone in the vicinity.  

Singh believes that it is our inner stance, how we handle not getting what we want, that determines how much we will suffer.

In denial that I wasn't going to get what I wanted, not wanting to accept the fact that I was powerless over the stain, I dabbed a drop of Liquid Paper on the stain.

DO NOT DO this. The result is a hard, crusty white spot that will not come off. It's worse than the stain itself.

What is your usual response when you don't get what you want? Does your reactivity make the loss worse? What have you found helps you be less reactive?

Thanks for exploring the mystery with me - Nicky Mendenhall

 *The Grace In Aging: Awaken As You Grow Older (2014), by Kathleen Dowling Singh

The image was discovered on a recent walk through my landlocked neighborhood.






















Image found on walk around my neighborhood

Mid Week: Enjoying Life's Riches....

"There are, after all, far too many pleasures available to be able to sample them all: too many wild and intriguing places to ever visit, people to meet, birds to watch, symphonies to hear, and so on.

" The riches embarrass our poor ability to enjoy them."

This week, I'm sampling the riches of having company without having to make everything perfect. My ability to enjoy is certainly enhanced by not demanding perfection of myself.

The paradoxical thing is - without the pressure of making everything perfect, everything seems nearly perfect!

What helps you enjoy the riches in your life?

Please reply to this email or go to comments section of blog and let me know how you are celebrating the riches in your life!

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

*Robert Michael Pyle

Source: Wintergreen: Listening to the Land's Heart found in Inward & Outward, August 25, 2015.

Is Anything Permanent? - #169

The weather the last few days has been perfect: cool breezes, mild temperatures. moderate humidity, sunny skies. It has been such a pleasure to step outside.

Whenever something pleases me, my desire is for it to last.  

The Buddhist conviction that everything changes and everything ends, informs me the permanency I wish for will not happen.

The saving grace in this conviction? When disappointment, despair, or depression visit, they too will dissipate.

The towel sculpture (Brazil, 2010) was the first time I discovered towels could be used for artistic expression. Today this image reminds me that pleasure is often short lived. 

My resolve is to permanently be in the moment - whatever that moment may be.

Do you want things to never change? Can you think of things that are permanent? In your daily life, do you remember that everything is constantly changing? Is it easy for you to stay in the moment? What gets in your way of being present?

Please share your thoughts about these questions and others you may have by replying to this email or going to the blog and leaving a comment.


Thank you for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

Sometimes It's Simple

Entertaining out-of-town guests in August was simple.  

The post on July 31 (#166) alerted me, and my readers, some of whom would be visitors, of my usual pattern of over-preparing for guests. 

It wasn't easy to admit I worry about  making everything perfect, especially knowing that some of the people reading would be visiting.

I wasn't clear where the reluctance to share my struggle was coming from until later.  It wasn't simple to admit partly because I'm the oldest sister and in addition to that - insecure at times. Sometimes I put pressure on myself and think that I'm to care for everyone with seeming ease and resourcefulness. 

I don't want to need help. Admitting that I am human & struggle leaves me feeling vulnerable.

I'm happy to report the results of being vulnerable were fantastic!

Especially because two of my sisters, who both read blog and came to visit, asked how they could help. They asked in a genuinely supportive way. (I imagine they have always asked but the difference this time was that I felt I didn't have to maintain a picture of effortless hostessing.) I'd already admitted what I was struggling with!

It is  sometimes not so simple to ask for help. It is often easier to pretend that we can handle everything by ourselves.

Is it simple for you to be vulnerable? Do you let people know when you struggle? Can you ask for help?

Please let me know by replying to this email or going to blog comment section. Let's be vulnerable together!

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

Creativity According To Einstein - #168

"Creativity is the residue of time wasted."*

Wednesday, the day exploring the mystery's mid week post featured a design created with rib bones, we served our guests a new batch of our famous, adapted from my brother's recipe, pork ribs baked 250 degrees in aluminum foil for four+ hours.  

It seemed only natural to challenge our guests to create a masterpiece equal to, or one to surpass, the previously published rib bone design image.

We worked diligently. We created memories. We had fun.

We created a tower of rib bones.  

There was residue on my white jeans as a result of the tower toppling as I hovered near it to capture an image for you of this masterpiece.  

This was time we had all carved out of our busy lives to meet and eat and renew our bonds. It was not wasted time.

Are you enjoying the last of the long summer evenings? Are you creating memories? Are you creating giggles amongst your loved ones? What do you do to express your creativity? When is the last time you were silly?

Let us know by replying to this email of making a comment on the blog comment section.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

* Einstein Quote found in Imagine: How Creativity Works by Jonah Lehrer(2012). Lehrer resigned from the New Yorker for fabricating quotes by Bob Dylan in this book. He also published previously printed work of his own which raised the question of self plagiarism. Be careful when you imagine!

Guess Who Delivered Teabag Wisdom Mid Week?

"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself."

This saying was attributed to George Bernard Shaw on my most recent Good Earth teabag tag. 

I think his words speak to our current discussion: 

Do we let other people determine our behavior?

Shaw's saying suggests the importance of creating our own response; a response which promotes qualities we value.

This is a complicated subject. Keep letting me/us know what you think. Do you have to make a conscious effort to not give what you are offered but instead give what you want to receive? Are there times when responding rudely would be appropriate?

Thanks for exploring the mystery - 
                                 Nicky Mendenhall

Image: A design we created after a rib dinner a few months ago.  

Wise Words For Us - #167

The post on 8/4/15, described a less than optimal encounter with two CenturyLink technicians. During this experience, Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo's photo on my desktop was unceremoniously knocked on its face.

While placing her upright on my desk, I had a sense she wanted to have a word with us. Here she is writing in first person singular:* 

"Patience can be a problem for me because people are very nice to me. One can get lulled into a false sense of one's own niceness because it is very easy to be pleasant to people who are kind.

"But then, if I walk into an Indian government office, and the officials are obnoxious, then we can see it. Right there it is. Anger has not gone away. 

"Then we can decide either to be rude in return, or we can think, Wow, thank you. This is the opportunity--right now--to transform the situation and not answer back in the obvious way."

This is an excerpt from Into the Heart of Life by Tenzin (2011)

It is my hope that you find her words as helpful as I do!

Is it easier for you to be nice to nice people and more difficult to be nice to rude or obnoxious people? Are  you able to see rudeness as an opportunity for you to practice being who you are no matter what happens?

Thank you for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall 







Her last guest appearance was 11/27/2012. 

Twenty-first CenturyLink Invasion

My landline phone at the office is dead.

Using my US Cellular mobile device, I call CenturyLink. John in Wyoming answers, runs diagnostic protocols on both lines, determines there is a problem. Reports no solution available in Wyoming. "You need a service call," he reports, "in your area, the schedule is booked out several days."

Despite my pleas for faster response time, given the nature of my business, the first available window of time is four days away: noon to five.

Fast forward: At 11:55 AM on designated day, Jimmy John's Freaky Fast delivery car skids to a stop in the parking lot. I'm watching because I'm hungry; this means I see the CenturyLink van arrive.   

I pay for and then devour my rare roast beef with avocado sauce unwich. Twenty minutes later, a tall bearded CenturyLink tech finally arrives in my office scratching his head: "There are no phone lines in this suite!"   

He uses his mobile to call another tech.  While we wait for his backup, his personal investigation begins. He demolishes my desktop, knocking over Jetsunma Tenzin Palmo's picture. He dislocates ceiling tiles which stir up dusty pink bits of insulation which cling to every surface.

When his even more bearded, shorter in stature, longer in hair, side kick stomps in, I snatch the above image as they venture next door. 

The situation called for mindfulness and I did what I could. They did what they could. The lines were restored.

Gathering up equipment, the tall man confided to me his afternoon consisted of twelve troubleshooting calls like this one and that he was tired. He said, "Two more years til retirement  - can't mess up now."  

He looked stressed. As he assured me he would have to bill me, he said he would do what he could to keep the price down;  "but there's only so much I can do."

The good news is that I didn't get totally stressed out. I was able to find some compassion for his situation. I took an observer role which helped me stay somewhat detached and not soak up his anxiety.

Does the Twenty-first Century challenge you? Please share with us by replying to this email or going to the blog.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall