A drop of blueberry smoothie, the size of a large green pea, landed front and center on my favorite white crewneck shirt. I wasn't worried. I was confident that using "The Laundress Spot and Stain Remover" and "The Laundress Whites" formulas would save the shirt.
Two days of scrubbing the spot with a toothbrush, while adding more and more product, (these products had never failed me) yielded a fainter spot but one that was still visible to all people except those waiting in line for cataract surgery.
My desire was for the darn spot to disappear! I didn't want to accept the fact that my shirt now had an ugly stain and was for all purposes destroyed.
What I wanted to happen, did not happen.
Kathleen Dowling Singh* writes there are predictable sufferings in human life. She says that not getting what we want leads to suffering.
She continues: "Many times we double suffering by relating to it reactively."
A ruined shirt can be a disaster if one reacts to it by blaming one's self or The Laundress or anyone in the vicinity.
Singh believes that it is our inner stance, how we handle not getting what we want, that determines how much we will suffer.
In denial that I wasn't going to get what I wanted, not wanting to accept the fact that I was powerless over the stain, I dabbed a drop of Liquid Paper on the stain.
DO NOT DO this. The result is a hard, crusty white spot that will not come off. It's worse than the stain itself.
What is your usual response when you don't get what you want? Does your reactivity make the loss worse? What have you found helps you be less reactive?
Thanks for exploring the mystery with me - Nicky Mendenhall
*The Grace In Aging: Awaken As You Grow Older (2014), by Kathleen Dowling Singh
The image was discovered on a recent walk through my landlocked neighborhood.
Image found on walk around my neighborhood
t's funny how sometimes the little things can "get under your skin". Sometimes those little frustrations can add up if you've had several in a row. I do hate getting spots on my clothes. It seems weird in some ways that that would ruin a whole shirt, pants, whatever. When I don't get what I want, I think I have various reactions, depending on my mood.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great point - why does a little spot mean we can't wear it?
DeleteWhat if I wore it - it would give everyone something to ask me - "Nicky,
do you know you have a spot on your shirt?
I spilled red wine on my favorite white shirt. I got all but a light shadow out. I decided I wouldn't look at it and no one else probably would notice anyway. I like how you solved your problem by making it even worse so you HAD to get rid of the shirt. That would work for me, too. If I had only one shirt, I'd feel differently about not getting my way. Right now I feel gratitude for more than one shirt! Thanks, Nicky!
ReplyDeleteI thought about that too as I have more than one shirt - actually I have more than one favorite shirt. We are so lucky in this age of migrants and refugees to have houses and food and clothing.
DeleteYour gratitude is a healthy expression of not needing your own way which is what I'm trying to learn. Learn to take care of my physical and emotional needs but not narcissistic needs for control.
Thank you for your comment - it is much appreciated.
Try Oxyclean and make a paste on top of the stain. Let it soak, maybe overnight. I just got a stubborn stain out of a white sweater with this method after my every trusty citrasolv didn’t get it all out.
ReplyDelete