"Patience is an ever present alternative to the mind’s endemic restlessness and impatience. Scratch the surface of impatience and what you will find lying beneath it, subtly or not so subtly, is anger.
"It’s the strong energy of not wanting things to be the way they are and blaming someone (often yourself) or some thing for it."*
Was I angry when the blueberry stain didn't dissolve from my shirt? Probably, though anger is not something I recognize.
Was I angry when the blueberry stain didn't dissolve from my shirt? Probably, though anger is not something I recognize.
Kabat-Zinn's statement, that anger lurks below impatience, somehow surprised me even though it seems so obvious once stated.
If I had known that anger was lurking behind my drive to get that darn spot out, I wonder if it would have changed the end result?
I'd like to explore this more but it's late so I will stop for now. There is a feature on the blog that I can update the post. Maybe I will.
Tell me how you feel about Kabat-Zinn's statement by email or comment section. Do you think anger always is underneath impatience? To be angry that things are not what I expected happens more often than I like to admit. Do you recognize your own anger?
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
*Jon Kabat-Zinn
Source: Wherever You Go There You Are, inward/outward via mail96.atl11.rsgsv.net
Thinking of our Dad and how impatient he could be, I was struck by the amount of anger he must have experienced growing up as an only child, not only in his immediate family but also in the extended family. I’m sure he took a lot of teasing from his seven aunts and uncles, all of whom had no children of their own at the time of his youth. His parents had to move several times which led to changing schools. I remember him telling how one boy just came up and slugged him for no reason except he was the new kid. I’m sure some of his impatience was because growing up as the only child, he was expected to act more like an adult and probably a lot of impatience was shown to him.
ReplyDeleteNina - thanks for writing this up. In terms of full disclosure, Nina called me and wanted to talk about our Dad and a bit of what she said above but since I had company and was in the middle of making a Life Changing Loaf, I asked her to write it out. You gathered together so many reasons for his impatience that I am full of empathy for him now even though the anger beneath the impatience meant that I spent most of my life scared of him.
DeleteYour words brought out the empathy from my heart and for that gift, I thank you again.