Both ancient wisdom teachings and modern psychological systems encourage us to pay attention to internal feeling states. Because the ancients and the moderns agree on the folly of denying feelings, there are many resources available to guide us when we have the courage to meet our feelings face-to-face.
We've heard a Buddhist perspective, now please stay with me as we open to a Christian viewpoint.
Sometimes the word "Christian" causes us to shut our ears. We don't want to entertain Christian dogma that makes no sense to our scientifically trained minds. We put cotton in our ears to protect us from the harsh, judgemental words we have come to expect from the fundamentalists. But rather than throwing the baby out with the bathwater (after all it is the Christmas season) let's listen with an open mind and heart to:
Christine Valters Paintner* the online Abbess of Abbey of the Arts. The Abbey is a virtual monastery that offers a variety of online classes, reflections, and resources with a focus on the integration of contemplative practice and creative expression.
I "met" Christine during an online class and found her guidance for my writing and meditation practice to be most helpful; it was not a surprise when her response to the Newtown tragedy was inspiring.
She graciously gave permission to share her words:
In the wake of so much grief over the unimaginable violence at Sandy Hook elementary school last week, I invite you to let sorrow have its place in you.
I have no easy answers, and people who claim God's will somehow at work in the violence itself are offering trite answers to a mystery that is greater than our understanding.
Our response must be to stand witness to the terrible things done, to grieve and know the fullness of our own humanity, and to cherish those we love dearly and hold them close.
We are reminded again and again that life is a fleeting gift. Sometimes it slips away in illness and sometimes stolen brutally.
There are no words of solace.
We must simply be with the great sadness of loss and know that these wounds and places of being broken open are where the grace enters. We must commit again to make this one life matter.
One simple act you can do in response to this heartbreaking thievery of human life is to let yourself feel the deep grief of it.
Notice when you want to push it away, or numb yourself, or find a distraction.
This capacity to sit with the pain and let it work its way through you is the first and fundamental response.
The second response is an embrace of love as the deepest and truest thing, what makes life bearable under the most grievous of circumstances.
Hold someone you love close, make amends with a loved one with whom you had a falling out.
Extend yourself in this circle of love. These things matter deeply.
Then comes the hard work of conversation and change of policy and ways to protect lives more vigorously.
But this work must emerge from a place that has allowed the river of grief to flow through and the deep well of love to nourish and sustain.
We must remember the extravagant source of life** as we consider the reality of death.
Next week we will learn from a practitioner of Integral Theory six steps we can practice to midwife higher levels of consciousness.
Special note: It was brought to my attention over Christmas break that not everyone agrees focusing on our feelings after National tragedies is necessary. What do you think? How do you deal with disasters that aren't in your neighborhood or your part of the world? Please use the comments section to tell us what you think.
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
*Christine Valters Paintner is the online Abbess of Abbey of the Arts and the author of 7 books on monastic spirituality and creativity, as well as an artist, spiritual director, retreat facilitator, and teacher. She earned her PhD in Christian Spirituality from the Graduate Theological Union in Berkeley and her professional status as Registered Expressive Arts Consultant and Educator (REACE) from the International Expressive Arts Therapy Association. In July 2012, she began living out her commitment as a Benedictine Oblate in the beautiful city of Vienna, Austria with her husband.
Christine Valters Paintner, PhDwww.AbbeyoftheArts.com
**Italics mine.
Hi, Nicky! I can't make myself want to jump in someone else's "river of grief." My own will be enough, but I've been there and can empathize.
ReplyDeleteIt seemed easy to distance myself from the Newtown tragedy until I went to the 9:00 am Lessons and Carols service at Plymouth. Seeing the precious faces of our children brought an emotion I didn't expect. I guess it was awareness and gratitude. That was a river I could jump into. Thank you for this line of discussion!
You are most welcome fluteyogi. Thank you for sharing your beautiful experience with us. To be led to feelings of awareness and feelings of gratitude is a great blessing. I wonder if blessings are triggered by the attention we pay to our feelings?
ReplyDeleteIt's too bad these types of tragedies weigh so heavily on some people. With the unlimited access to news, it seems there is no getting away from it. I remember Dad commenting: "How much more must we endure before getting out of this life." I wonder if Adam Lanza had those same feelings?
ReplyDeleteNolan -I vaguely remember Dad saying that - do you remember what the circumstances were when he said it?
ReplyDeleteHaunting question you pose about Adam Lanza.
Thanks for your comments and for reading the blog.
Nicky-I have finally had time to read and reflect on your past two posts on the Sandy Hook tragedy. They seem to be helpful to get to the heart of dealing with this terribly sad event.
ReplyDeleteHere are my thoughts. First I try not to go immediately overboard to get every detail when something like this happens. One can easily be overwhelmed by the event and it can severely affect our ability to deal with those people present in our lives. As one picks up the details, you can begin deal then with one's anger, fear and grief in a more positive way. My main thought was the terrible pain afflicted on the parents and all their connected families and friends. I did some very simple calculations and suspect at least 2000 individuals were directly affected. My Christian prayer as a response was to think of each family and say "Lord have mercy" or some equivalent saying, and to say it slowly with some attempt to visualize the pain they are going through. This really helped to bring me peace of mind. I don't
know if your have ever heard of the Jesus prayer. It goes like this.
"Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me for I am a sinner". This also fits into your post as it helps us recognize that we too are capable of hurting others by our actions. I watched a recent documentary which followed the origin of this prayer more than 1000 yearsin Christian monasteries from Egypt to Russia. It so simple yet so profound and has endured century after century to bring peace and forgiveness.
I know that individuals who have in the past experienced the tragic loss of a child were a great deal more sympathetic. The pastor of the Methodist church where I play music nearly every Sunday lost a child shortly after birth and his son to suicide . He was really affected by this event. As a result it has been a part of the community prayer each Sunday. He mentions his children. I am sure the pain has never really gone away.
When we have been there, even in a minor way, our compassion for those affected is much much greater. It has been said that we do not face life until we have faced death. And as you have written we must recognize how precious each life is and to be present with those who are present.
Peace and Joy,
Carl
Carl,
DeleteI appreciate your thoughtful response. I hear that the prayers that have endured for centuries hold meaning and provide comfort for you. Thank you for sharing your process with us.
Nicky