Snow!

The peaceful image of a seated woman on my back deck, was taken before five inches of snow blanketed her. She looks calm and serene doesn't she?

Taking baby steps, to avoid falling down in the five inches of snow that blanketed my office parking lot today, didn't feel calm and serene.

And took my blog post creative energy. 

See you next time!

There are comments in the comment section that you will enjoy - especially the ones about human and animal interaction.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

Magical Thinking Up Close & Personal - #189

Time: Early evening, Christmas Day 

Task: Riffling through Jon Burras' book, Return to Nature, 

Purpose: Need information on magical thinking.

Action:  An owl hoots loudly outside my house.  

My Usual Response: Find Animal Energies book by authors Garry Buffalo Horn Man and Sherry Firedancer. Read facts about owls and what "medicine" they offer, and explore owls vulnerabilities and blind spots and what these may communicate to me.

What Animal Energies offers:"If an owl has oriented on you, you can be certain that an aspect of your life is going to change, in a big way. Some people believe that Owl only comes to those things that are about to die. So not fear, though, for this does not mean physical death as much as it means the letting go of some part of you that is not serving you. Owls, with their spectral senses, are guides through the dark tunnel of fear and change to the certain light shining at the other end. Thank Owl for its willingness to guide you through its shadowy realm."

What Jon Burras offers: "Magical thinking is a way to interpret the world by telling ourselves a story. For instance, most people consider a dog's bark disturbing. But when an owl makes a noise, it becomes a mystical experience."

Let me know what you think. Remember there are no wrong answers.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

Look closely at the image - it's a barred owl!

Messing With Our Magical Thinking - #188

Where does one begin messing with magical thinking?  As the song says, "let's start at the very beginning."

According to Burras, humans began to walk upright, 3.7 million years ago.

(Are you now humming songs from the Sound of Music? If so, congratulate yourself, your unconscious is activated.)

Five hundred thousand years ago, present-day Homo sapiens emerged. 

Chellis Glendinning* believes that we have been human in biological and psychological development for about one million years.

Only in the last six or seven thousand years have civilizations, as we know them today, emerged. 

Alphabets and the creation of written language arose in the last five thousand years.

During these last five thousand years, Burras speculates that the following belief began to emerge: 

Humankind is not part of nature but is superior to nature.

At the same time, patriarchy and male dominance over feminine values began to emerge. Women, children, animals, and nature began to be dominated by the patriarchal way of thinking.

Intuition, sensation, and expression of emotion all began to lose ground to rational thinking, words, and repression of emotion. 

Intuition, sensation, and expression of emotion are characteristics that are largely unrecognized by patriarchy.  

In this week of holiday gatherings and time off from work, find time to listen to your intuition, feel your sensations, and express your emotions. See what happens. If you meet resistance, perhaps you've met patriarchy. Introduce yourself. 

And then let me know.We'll continue to sneak up on magical thinking...

In the meantime:
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall








*Quoted in Burras as being the author of My Name is Chellis and I'm in Recovery from Western Civilization

Image appeared after photo shoot of sunrise. A true mystery to me!



SPECIAL NOTE: If you need to know the other two corners of Four Corners of Movement to get closure, you are in luck - here they are: #3 is Integrative Movement and #4 is Playful Movement. #3 integrative movement works at re-patterning the nervous system using slow gentle movements. Examples: Alexander work, Feldenkrais, and Continuum all are examples of this work. #4, Playful Movement has few rules. Burras says most of us have forgotten how to play. Examples he gives are kayaking, dancing to music or swimming in the ocean.

Now in Corner #Two - #187

Did you note that the image depicting "Four Corners of Movement"(Post #186) had more than four petals? Someone I live with enlightened me. This was shocking news: I take finding images seriously.  

Movement begins in the mind according to Burras. 

Do you want to move when you look at the above image by Judy Sebern-Beachy*? What does your mind want your body to do when you focus on the above image?

That Corner #2 promotes Cardio-Strength Movement won't be a big surprise. What might surprise you is how Burras emphasizes the importance, while in corner #2, of including a full range of motion while practicing every movement. The other surprise from Burras: Don't be concerned with numbers (calories burned, heart rate).

Burras writes that movement is natural, exercise is not. That "in shape" doesn't necessarily mean "in health". 

What do you think of these ideas? Do you have a fitbit? Do you count calories?  

Warning! If you are not good at handling disagreement  - the chances that you will be upset with Burras and Me are mounting. We are going to mess with your magical thinking to start. Stick around and....

Continue exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

Check out  Judy Sebern-BeachyArt on FB to see her work. 

Four Corners of Movement - #186

I still don't know what happened last post - mystery took over! My apologies for cluttering up your inbox with duplicates.

Jon Burras* feels strongly that we need to move our bodies - he says everything in Nature moves and then makes the case that since we are part of Nature, we must move. He continues: Health is much more than just strength and a lowered resting heart rate.

In his book, Return to Nature, he asks if we are still moving our body with prehistoric beliefs in mind? He says if our answer is yes, it may be time to update our belief systems.

What belief systems do you think he is referring to?

The center of this post will explore one of the four corners of movement as described by Burras. Today we will look in corner number 1:

"Disciplined Movement. Disciplined movement involves a pattern or routine with emphasis on flowing and lengthening. "This is an organized set of movements that is either interconnected or practiced separately. There is a structure, a formula and a method for practice.

Examples of this type of movement might be tai chi, yoga or Pilates." 

I would add QiGong and Tango. What would you add? Do you have anything in this corner?

Until about eight years ago, this type of movement didn't work for me. I could name a number of factors why it didn't, but chief among them would be that I didn't have the right teacher. I needed someone to be very patient and to understand that I have two left feet and little sense of direction; Someone that had patience to help me go over and over movements until they were recorded in my flesh. 

When I found Ruth Kneile, I found my teacher. Tai Chi is now in my corner.

*You will be hearing more from Jon Burras in the weeks ahead.

speak your shame - #185

Speak Your Shame - #185

"In a 2011 study funded by the National Institute on Drug Abuse, researchers found that, as far as the brain is concerned, physical pain and intense experiences of social rejection hurt in the same way.

"Neuroscience advances confirm what we've known all along: emotions can hurt and cause pain. And just as we often struggle to define physical pain, describing emotional pain is difficult. Shame is particularly hard because it hates having words wrapped around it. It hates being spoken."*

Have you ever tried to put words on something you feel ashamed of? 

In my therapy session this week, before I could own up to something I felt shame about, I needed to be gently asked. "Do you want to express your feelings?" 

My initial answer was NO.  I felt too raw.

By the next session, I had garnered my courage and put words to what in the last session felt too hurtful to express. As you can guess, I'm not going to tell you what the issue was because that is not the point of this story. 

The point? When I said the words out loud - they didn't seem as horrific as they did when they were swirling around my brain. (Some of you may remember my newsletter Living Out Loud - I'm still learning!)

I can work with my "shame" now that it has words. Words that have been spoken outloud. Words that didn't cause my therapist to run screaming from the room. Words that in some strange way are beginning to set me free.

Before the end of the year, will you make an effort to admit to yourself, and perhaps one other person, something you feel shame about? Choose the person carefully. Find your words. Begin to heal.

Stay tuned - Jon Burras coming up soon.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

Posted 7/11/2015 (My copy is red - don't know why. Maybe redfaced shame?

Sorry for confusion - don't know what to say! I have confidence that you will explore the mystery & come up with a solution.

Do You Have Much Patience? - #184

"Since ever, in China, bamboo farmers have planted baby bamboo shoots deep into the ground. And then, for three years, nothing happens. But the farmers will work, diligently watering the shoot, spreading hay and manure, waiting patiently even though nothing is sprouting up. They simply have faith. And then, one day, the bamboo will shoot up and grow up to thirty feet in a month. It just blasts into the sky."

I owe this bit of knowledge about bamboo to Amanda Palmer. Her book, The Art of Asking (2014), describes what she learned while making her living as a human statue. She covered her face with white face paint, put on an old wedding gown, stood on a box on the sidewalk giving flowers to people who gave her,  "the bride", coins or poems. I didn't read every page, I didn't have the patience to read about the couchsurfing she experienced as a musician, but the parts I read were fascinating.   

Just between us, I don't have much patience. The world probably would not have bamboo if I was in charge. Sorting out Christmas CD's just now about drove me nuts! Many discs were not in their appropriate plastic cases and without exception were dusty which stirred up my allergies further trying my patience. My cleverly designed red box system to store CD's, doesn't seem to be working as it takes patience to find the correct category and box.  

Do you have patience? What tries your patience? When do you lose your patience?

More from Jon Burras soon. Are you feeling healthy? Are you moving?

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

Speak Your Shame - #184

"In a 2011 study funded by the National Institute on Drug Abuse, researchers found that, as far as the brain is concerned, physical pain and intense experiences of social rejection hurt in the same way.

"Neuroscience advances confirm what we've known all along: emotions can hurt and cause pain. And just as we often struggle to define physical pain, describing emotional pain is difficult. Shame is particularly hard because it hates having words wrapped around it. It hates being spoken."*

Have you ever tried to put words on something you feel ashamed of? 

In my therapy session this week, before I could own up to something I felt shame about, I needed to be gently asked. "Do you want to express your feelings?" 

My initial answer was NO.  I felt too raw.

By the next session, I had garnered my courage and put words to what in the last session felt too hurtful to express. As you can guess, I'm not going to tell you what the issue was because that is not the point of this story. 

The point? When I said the words out loud - they didn't seem as horrific as they did when they were swirling around my brain. (Some of you may remember my newsletter Living Out Loud - I'm still learning!)

I can work with my "shame" now that it has words. Words that have been spoken outloud. Words that didn't cause my therapist to run screaming from the room. Words that in some strange way are beginning to set me free.

Before the end of the year, will you make an effort to admit to yourself, and perhaps one other person, something you feel shame about? Choose the person carefully. Find your words. Begin to heal.

Stay tuned - Jon Burras coming up soon.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

*The Art of Asking (2014), Amanda Palmer, Page 212.

Listening To Internal Whispers - #183

I have been immersed in Return to Nature: The Five Pillars of Healing. The author, Jon Burras, who generously continues to advise me and provide invaluable information, suggests we use our intuition rather than our habits to guide our movement. 

For me, that means listening when I hear my internal voice whispering, "Nicky, remember when you read that sitting is the new smoking? You have been reading for a half hour. It is time to get up and do a few Tai Chi moves or get on the floor and practice the "tipped turtle." Go for a short walk - after all it is a sunny 50 degree Iowa December day!"

I want to not only listen - but take action. (I have been known to set a timer for a half hour so I will move when it goes off and then when it goes off, set it again without taking action.) 

No more!

Next time your inner voice urges you to move, pay attention. In the next few weeks, you will learn from Jon Burras and me why it is vital that you move, especially now that the dark days of winter are upon us.

Do you have enough movement in your life? What gets in your way of moving if you don't? What would help you get more movement into your life? What helps you move? Please share with us by sending me an email or going to the comment section.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

Two Additions to Post #180 - #182

In Post #180, I strongly suggested that after Thanksgiving Dinner you MOVE.  

If movement is painful or difficult for you currently - don't despair: 

Get down on the floor and do the "Tipped Turtle" - lie on your back, stick your hands and legs up toward the ceiling and move them around in circles approximately 20 - 30 times. Reverse and move them the opposite direction. Then pound the bottom of your foot - my Tai Chi teacher calls this part the bubbling well. It will stimulate your immune system and entertain your guests.

The image above offers another option: Two stretchy bands looped through a loop which is held firm by the door because of a little metal ball that prevents it from sliding through. Pull down using mostly core muscles - not your arm muscles. Find bands and loop online.

More from Jon Burras next post. Thanks for exploring the mystery and moving your body - Nicky Mendenhall

Five Pillars For Healthy Holidays - #181

As promised, more about Jon Burras. His response to my email request provides you with an overview of his book: 

  “My name is Jon Burras and I am the author of the a dynamic new approach to health in a book called Return to Nature: The Five Pillars of Healing. This work is a remarkably different model on life and health than most have been taught to believe. 

The Five Pillars of Healing were designed from natural concepts as opposed to many ideas these days which are birthed in a scientific laboratory. When we align with nature we obtain optimal healing; when we disregard nature or try to conquer nature we become our own worst enemy. 

The Five Pillars of Healing that I have created are the following; 
1. Recovery of the Mind 
2. Recovery of the Breath 
3. Recovery through Bodywork 
4. Expansive Movement
 5. Natural Recovery from Addictions. 

Within this framework you will begin to live a dynamic and vibrant life that unfolds within you as you become aligned with nature. Enjoy her journey.”

Namaste, Jon Burras

I found his address online and sent him an email to ask if he would be interested in collaborating with me for exploring the mystery.  This is what I love about the internet!

Which of the Five Pillars are you most interested in? We will be exploring them in the weeks to come.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

Photo of melting snow on sidewalk last year.(2014)

It's Thanksgiving Holiday Weekend - MOVE IT! - #180

"I believe in movement." Straightforward words from Patti Smith, writer, performer, visual artist.*

"Most people have very little idea about how movement works in our bodies, or how much movement is required for natural biological function." Warning words from Katy Bowman.**

Jon Burras speaks to us metaphorically: "Nowhere in nature do you see absolute stillness all of the time. Some movement is faster....a cheetah chasing after a  prey at sixty miles per hour is certainly much quicker than a glacier crawling down a valley floor at sixty inches per year."***

Smith, Bowman, & Burras join me in encouraging you to move after Thanksgiving Dinner: Walk, stretch, do some yoga poses or Tai Chi forms. Don't think of it as exercise, think of it as movement. Continue to move the rest of the holiday weekend. 


Email me or comment on blog describing what movement you make. Encourage me!

Thanks for exploring the mystery of movement with me -
                                                    Nicky Mendenhall

*Patti Smith, M Train (2015).

**Katy Bowman, M.S., Move Your DNA (2014).

***Jon Burras, Return to Nature (2011). You will be hearing more about Jon's approach soon though I can't get my computer to underline Return to Nature! A mystery to be explored indeed.

Promised Quote & Informal Poll - #179

"A friend of mine once abruptly announced: “I never do anything that will make me feel too good, because I know that when I feel very, very good, I start to marvel at the wonder of being alive. And then I become frightened. Partly it’s because the more I feel the beauty of being here on earth, the more I realize how fragile life is; how easily it can stop. And partly it’s because I just don’t know what to do with it all. I know I can spoil it if I touch it or even if I think about it. But it’s almost intolerable just to try to let it be. No, I’m really much more comfortable when I’m not too close to the wonder of life. When I’ve got problems or distractions or something to struggle with I feel much better, because then at least I know who I am and what I need to do.”
Gerald May
Source: Will and Spirit

Realizing how fragile life is is the line that speaks to me today. A few days ago (before I heard of a classmate's death), the phrase that spoke to me was "almost intolerable just to let it be." 

Do you suppose this is one reason we keep so busy - so we are not in touch with the wonder of life?

In brain group this morning, the discussion centered around whether or not we (as adults) have "fun"? The consensus was that joy described more our good feelings than fun did. This is an informal poll - if you are over 18 you may participate: Do you have fun?

What do you think? You may respond to the informal poll by email as well as letting me know how you deal with the wonder of life.  

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

Did I Stumble Upon Origin of exploring the mystery? - #178

A quote from Will & Spirit turned up on inward/outward last week - a quote I will treat you with next post. The quote was so intriguing it sent me on a search for my Will & Spirit book which was easy to find because of its distinct cover: dark blue with yellow block letters.

The seed for exploring the mystery 's origin may have been planted in my mind when I read Gerald G. May's book, Will & Spirit, April, 1986. (Were you even alive then?) From the beginning of my counseling career, I was interested in psychology and spirituality and May confronted the intersection of these two by creating a contemplative psychology. 

May says modern science recognizes that some element of mystery exists in all things, from the smallest subatomic particle to the very perimeters of the universe. He cites Einstein as saying:

"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious."

Was this the seed that grew in me for all these years that led to this blog? It is a mystery indeed. 

Thanks for sharing my excitement at how mystery works and leads to even more mystery. Do you like mysteries that you can't solve? What seems mysterious to you?

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

The image from Portland, OR., received April, 2015. When I read it, it seemed like another mystery. A tree producing cones after 6 million years!

I Bet Practicing This Will Be Difficult - #177

"The next time someone asks you a question, don't answer right away. Receive the question or sharing and let it penetrate you so the speaker feels that he or she has really been listened to.

"Only when we have been able to open space within ourselves can we really help others.

"It is easy to notice if someone has a feeling of spaciousness.....you feel comfortable with them because they are easy and relaxed. They are not already full of their own agenda."*

Give this a try when you are out and about this weekend. Is it automatic to offer your perspective on any subject? Let us know how difficult it is for you not to answer right away.

Email or visit: www.nickymendenhallwww.nickymendenhall.blogspot.com.blogspot.com by clicking on underlined words, scroll up or down, click on comments and enter your wisdom.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

*Adapted from The Practitioner's Quarterly, Winter, 2015, pg 13.

Body Language - #176

"His foot jerks, he sighs, he squints, his stomach rumbles. These movements are part of the body's voice telling its story without benefit of consciousness."*

Waiting in line gives us time to practice the Art of Standing Meditation and take note other people's posture, body language and clothing. 

The leather jacket in the image above was covered with painted rats on its back and sleeves, though it is difficult to see the rats in this shot. I received this image when we were in line to see Michelangelo's, David. 

Body language originates in the unconscious.  Like a foreign language, body language needs a skilled interpreter to help us understand its meaning.

Do you pay attention to body language? Do you realize the messages from your unconscious? Do you appreciate your body? Does body language help you understand others?

Let me know by email or blog comment by scrolling up or down after you click this link: www.nickymendenhall.blogspot.com

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall


*The Body in Recovery (1994), John P. Conger, p. 49.

What Do You Offer Your Spirit? - #175

"Stepping out of the busyness, stopping our endless pursuit of getting somewhere else, is perhaps the most beautiful offering we can make to our spirit."* Give yourself permission to stop whatever you are doing this weekend and take a few deep breaths. Really. Don't just think about it, actually do it. I had a busy morning with grocery shopping and a haircut plus a therapy session. After I publish this, I'm going to go rest. Probably read a few more pages of Diane Glass's new book, This Need to Dance: A Life of Rhythm and Resilience. I am on page 60 and have had trouble putting it down. Diane has attended my Tai Chi class and I have visited with her while in line for the women's room at Des Moines Metro Opera. I can't wait to see her again to tell her how much I resonate with her writing.   Let me know about your relationship with busyness. Do you ever take breaks? Do you think about taking care of your spirit? This is a new thought for me. I like it! And lastly, what are you reading these days? Thanks for exploring the mystery - NickyMendenhall *Tara Brach, A Network of Grateful Living, November 3, 2015.

Dangerous To Join Cliques (It's Not What You Think) - #174

An unintended consequence of exploring the mystery being absent the month of October is the presence of undue consternation regarding subject matter of Post #174. 

Unable to decide among several juicy options, I plop on my reptilian patterned chair stationed by fraudulent French doors. Resting, I admire multiple colors that still adorn the trees.

Leaves detach from the trees, one by one, fluttering gracefully to the ground. Each looks fiercely singular. 

This reminds me of one piece of frank advice from a Zen master that I read this morning: #4 out of a list of 17 -

"To you who think there's something to being `in`"

In this case, Kodo Sawaki Roshi (1880-1965) is referring to our tendency as humans to hang onto others and want whatever they want. 

He continues: "One at a time people are still bearable, but when they form cliques, they start to get stupid. We live in group stupidity and confuse this insanity with true experience. It is essential that you become transparent to yourself and wake up from this madness....take leave of the group and walk on your own two feet."*

One of my struggles is being too attached to agreement which occurs to me is another form of joining the clique.

Are you worried about being part of the group? Do you agree with Roshi that people start to get stupid in groups? What price do you pay for being part of clique or to get agreement?

Please let me know by email or go to comment section of blog. Click on this link: www.nickymendenhall.blogspot.com

Thanks for exploring the mystery!

*Article in Tricycle, Winter, 2015, "TO YOU" written by Kodo Sawaki Roshi, page 37+

Midweek: How Do You Use Your 5 Senses?

Khenpo Gawang Rinpoche, my favorite Daily Dharma speaker, charms me with his infectious grin.  

I love how he says,"troubles" as in, "if you use any of your senses too much or if you use any of your senses too little, you will have troubles." I know what he means, don't you?

His primary message on September 28, 2015:  Practice the middle way. He tells us to:

"Go out in Nature. This will open the gate to see your own Nature. Senses tell us how to recognize one's own mind."

More advice - offered with a straight face: 

"You don't have to lose your mind."

I read that poems by Rilke always contain a pause. "It is within the pause that reflection is achieved, or what we now call mindfulness."*

October will be a time of exploring my senses and practicing mindfulness.

Next exploring the mystery post will be arriving in your inbox on November 4, 2015. Let me know what you are doing with your 5 senses and what happens when you incorporate a pause!

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall


*In the Company of Rilke (2011), Stephanie Dowrick.

Dag Hammarskold's Wisdom & Connection To Mystery

"Never, never, for the sake of peace, deny your own experience."*

I think I remember Hammarskold's book, Markings, on my bookshelves years ago, but I've given up the search. I Googled his name and found he was a Swedish diplomat, economist, and author.

According to Google, he died in a plane crash in 1953, "the most enduring mystery of the United Nations and African history."

I might omit a "never" - or even both "nevers" from Hammarskold's quote because there might be instances where peace would be more important than my experience. Let me know if you can think of one or more. Overall, I think denying experience to keep peace is a dangerous strategy but that may be a discussion for another post.

Another mystery to explore.

Let me know if you think both nevers are necessary! When is it difficult for you to claim your own truth?

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall


*Quote by Dag Hammarskold. found on page xiii, The Making Of A Therapist by Louis Cozolino (2004).

Do You Have "Negative Capability"?

Negative Capability?

Do I have it?

Trying to develop more.

Why?

If I had more Negative Capability, I would be less uncomfortable when nose to nose with uncertainty.  

More Negative Capability would mean enjoying the mysteries I explore on this blog without irritable reaching after fact or reason.*

More Negative Capability would mean I could read and enjoy Harry Potter.  J. K. Rowling doesn't tell us where magic comes from.**

When I practice Negative Capability, the image above speaks to me even though I haven't a clue who or what made the dots on the sidewalk.

Do you understand what is meant by Negative Capability? 

I'm feeling my way into a deeper understanding - it is a work in progress. Do you think Negative Capability is important to have?  

Please share your thoughts with me/us by replying to this email or going to blog comment section.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

*Thanks to Stephanie Dowrick who ponders these issues in her wonderful book, The Company of Rilke (2011)
**Liz Bureman found more enjoyment watching LOST when she practiced Negative Capability and admired J. K. Rowling's ability to use Negative Capability. Found her online.

Simple Words At End Of Week - #173

The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. 

Just listen. 

Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention. A loving silence often has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well-intentioned words.  

Taken from September 18 2015, Companioning the Dying by 

Rachel Naomi Remen

Why Are Path Pictures Popular?

This might be my 68th photograph of this path, a path I've been making friends with since moving to Urbandale in 2008. No, I haven't actually counted the number of path pictures I've received, but they are numerous. Each season needs to be chronicled.  I love the brilliantly colored red and gold leaves in the fall and the abundantly lush green of the summer and the bleak starkness of winter.

Yesterday I asked myself, as I was contemplating yet another photo of this path, (the one you see above), what is so tantalizing about path pictures?

Path pictures are iconic, they remind me that life is a journey. Looking at a path picture, I feel a sense of being in motion. I wonder if looking at a path picture would satisfy movement maven Katy Bowman? She says toss out your furniture and sit on the floor when you come home from walking the path. Move!

Do you like path pictures or photographs? What do they remind you of? Are you tempted to receive path photos on your camera or do you paint or draw paths?

Let me know by replying to this email or going to blog comment section.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

What Is Fearlessness? - #172

Lodro Rinzler is not afraid of anything. At least he's not afraid to title his books provocatively: The Buddha Walks into a Bar & his latest, How To Love Yourself (and Sometimes Other People).

Lodro spoke for the Daily Dharma Gathering, 1-20-2015.

Yes, I know that could qualify as old news since it was ten months ago. Because the talks are initially seen live and the recording is available only for the next 24 hours, this is from my memory and my notes.   

According to my notes, the title of his talk: "Fear and Fearlessness."

It is his definition of Fearlessness that I want to share with you.

Fearlessness is when we look and examine fear.  

This strikes me as profound! When I'm afraid of something, and for the record I'm not afraid of spiders, I do not want to look and examine it. I want to get away from it!

Looking and analyzing and staying with fear seems the only way to know it and then get over it.

Do you agree with this definition of fearlessness? Do you think it would work for you? I will continue to ponder this wisdom.

Email me or go to blog comment section to leave your wisdom.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

Image discovered by the very observant person I live with, who told me about it, and when I was too much in a hurry to go out, took the picture for me. By the time I had time, the creation was gone. Moral of story, always make time. 

Mid Week: Is Your Mind Luminous?

The more unified, stable, luminous, and attentive the mind is at this moment, the more profound the experience.*

When entertaining, the more present I was to what was going on, not worrying about what was next or how things looked, or what I'd just offered or what someone else just offered, the more luminous I became.

Are you feeling luminous as the sun disappears sooner every day? What would it take to make you feel luminous? What would you look like if you were luminous? 

I had to look up luminous and was surprised at all the different meanings offered. Look it up and see which meaning makes most sense to you and then let me know!

What do you want to accomplish before you build the first fire of the season?

Let me know by responding to this message or go to the blog comment section.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

*Daily Dharma, September 3, 2015,- Andrew Olendzki, "Busy Signal"*

Remember To Accept - # 171

Kate Lila Wheeler* impressed me with her Daily Dharma Talk yesterday using the eponymous title of my blog post. (Note: I'm not sure I'm using eponymous correctly, please advise me if I am not and tell me how to phrase it to indicate that I'm using the same words for my title. I keep seeing eponymous in my reading and wanted to take a stab at using it. We haven't had a new word for awhile. Thank you in advance!)

As you know from previous posts, at my house we have been entertaining out of town guests.  I noticed during these few weeks, when I asked if someone would want, for example, eggs for breakfast, the answer was "sure". Would you like another slice of Life Changing Bread? Would you want to visit the Des Moines Art Center? Almost anything I offered engendered the same answer - "sure".

It felt so good when they accepted my gifts. They trusted what I offered. There was no questioning if it was too much trouble for me. They didn't try and control my offer by suggesting it would be too much work or that they would be happy to do it for themselves.  
They just said "sure"! When they didn't say "sure", they said no. No excuses or apologies. Just no. I was good with that too.

Kate presented a multilayered wisdom filled explanation of what remember to accept meant to her. I wish you could all hear it! I may be referring to it in future posts.

Is it easy for you to "remember to accept"? What makes it hard for you? Do you need to remember to accept? Can you remember to accept the difficult happenings?

Let me know in the comments section or send me an email by replying to this message.

Thank you for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

*Kate Lila Wheeler went to her first Buddhist retreat in 1977, was briefly ordained as a nun in Burma and is supported to teach by Theravadan and Vajrayana mentors. She’s interested in helping others find their own way via a balance of clear method and joyous relaxation. Kate Lila also writes fiction and has edited two books published in English by her Burmese preceptor, Sayadawgyi U Pandita (who is still teaching at 93!). She lives in the Boston area with her husband, anthropologist and fellow writer David Guss. You can find out more about her teaching at her website.

For more of Kate’s work click here: http://katewheeler.com/

Flowers are from our wedding, 2009. The picture just turned up on a flash drive!

Midweek Strange Bedfellows: Anger & Patience

"Patience is an ever present alternative to the mind’s endemic restlessness and impatience. Scratch the surface of impatience and what you will find lying beneath it, subtly or not so subtly, is anger. 

"It’s the strong energy of not wanting things to be the way they are and blaming someone (often yourself) or some thing for it."*

Was I angry when the blueberry stain didn't dissolve from my shirt? Probably, though anger is not something I recognize.  

Kabat-Zinn's statement, that anger lurks below impatience, somehow surprised me even though it seems so obvious once stated.

If I had known that anger was lurking behind my drive to get that darn spot out, I wonder if it would have changed the end result?

I'd like to explore this more but it's late so I will stop for now. There is a feature on the blog that I can update the post.  Maybe I will.

Tell me how you feel about Kabat-Zinn's statement by email or comment section. Do you think anger always is underneath impatience? To be angry that things are not what I expected happens more often than I like to admit. Do you recognize your own anger?

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall




*Jon Kabat-Zinn
Source: Wherever You Go There You Are, inward/outward via mail96.atl11.rsgsv.net 

Out Out Darn Spot - #170

A drop of blueberry smoothie, the size of a large green pea, landed front and center on my favorite white crewneck shirt. I wasn't worried. I was confident that using "The Laundress Spot and Stain Remover" and "The Laundress Whites" formulas would save the shirt.

Two days of scrubbing the spot with a toothbrush, while adding more and more  product, (these products had never failed me) yielded a fainter spot but one that was still visible to all people except those waiting in line for cataract surgery.

My desire was for the darn spot to disappear!  I didn't want to accept the fact that my shirt now had an ugly stain and was for all purposes destroyed. 

What I wanted to happen, did not happen. 


Kathleen Dowling Singh* writes there are predictable sufferings in human life. She says that not getting what we want leads to suffering.

She continues: "Many times we double suffering by relating to it reactively."

A ruined shirt can be a disaster if one reacts to it by blaming one's self or The Laundress or anyone in the vicinity.  

Singh believes that it is our inner stance, how we handle not getting what we want, that determines how much we will suffer.

In denial that I wasn't going to get what I wanted, not wanting to accept the fact that I was powerless over the stain, I dabbed a drop of Liquid Paper on the stain.

DO NOT DO this. The result is a hard, crusty white spot that will not come off. It's worse than the stain itself.

What is your usual response when you don't get what you want? Does your reactivity make the loss worse? What have you found helps you be less reactive?

Thanks for exploring the mystery with me - Nicky Mendenhall

 *The Grace In Aging: Awaken As You Grow Older (2014), by Kathleen Dowling Singh

The image was discovered on a recent walk through my landlocked neighborhood.






















Image found on walk around my neighborhood