speak your shame - #185

Speak Your Shame - #185

"In a 2011 study funded by the National Institute on Drug Abuse, researchers found that, as far as the brain is concerned, physical pain and intense experiences of social rejection hurt in the same way.

"Neuroscience advances confirm what we've known all along: emotions can hurt and cause pain. And just as we often struggle to define physical pain, describing emotional pain is difficult. Shame is particularly hard because it hates having words wrapped around it. It hates being spoken."*

Have you ever tried to put words on something you feel ashamed of? 

In my therapy session this week, before I could own up to something I felt shame about, I needed to be gently asked. "Do you want to express your feelings?" 

My initial answer was NO.  I felt too raw.

By the next session, I had garnered my courage and put words to what in the last session felt too hurtful to express. As you can guess, I'm not going to tell you what the issue was because that is not the point of this story. 

The point? When I said the words out loud - they didn't seem as horrific as they did when they were swirling around my brain. (Some of you may remember my newsletter Living Out Loud - I'm still learning!)

I can work with my "shame" now that it has words. Words that have been spoken outloud. Words that didn't cause my therapist to run screaming from the room. Words that in some strange way are beginning to set me free.

Before the end of the year, will you make an effort to admit to yourself, and perhaps one other person, something you feel shame about? Choose the person carefully. Find your words. Begin to heal.

Stay tuned - Jon Burras coming up soon.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

Posted 7/11/2015 (My copy is red - don't know why. Maybe redfaced shame?

Sorry for confusion - don't know what to say! I have confidence that you will explore the mystery & come up with a solution.