Observe Your Phalanges - #208

"Plants have learned how to arrange their branches at the exact mathematical angle that allows each leaf to absorb the greatest amount of sunlight.

"Our finger bones or phalanges embody this exact same mathematical ratio, which allow the hand to integrate the part with the whole and to open and close in the most efficient, elegant way."*

When leaves return in a few weeks, notice how the branches are arranged to provide maximum sunlight for them.

Observe your hands gracefully open and close. Notice how often you use them every hour.

Two ways to continue exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

Nature and our bodies will be coming to life soon! Are you ready for the season to change? Please let us know what you look forward to as well as what you dread.

*David Fideler, Ph.D. as quoted in Kosmos magazine, Volume xiv, number two, 2015.

Smoking & Snow - #207

This afternoon I thought, if it is true, what they say, that sitting is the new smoking, I better close my Tricycle* for Spring and get my body moving.

Making my way down the nature path and then through the neighborhood, I noticed that the snow was almost gone. What was left was dirty and unattractive.

Feeling the pressure of being faithful to my promise that images are connected to the post, I snapped the above photo.

When I returned home, I reopened the Tricycle and read an article, The Dharma of Snow.

The science, provided by a geophysicist, explained how melting is a nonlinear process which makes it seem that snow melts all at the same time.  Obviously this pile didn't get the memo.

What I really resonated with was this paragraph that I want to remember:

"The highest expression of our human nature is to purify our minds. To clear away the clouds, the sheets of snow, the ice that we're encased in."

I am looking forward to spring but want to enjoy the rest of winter. There has been something nice about hibernating that I'm not quite ready to give up yet. How about you? Are you ready for Spring? Do you enjoy the change of seasons if you live in Iowa? Do you have noticeable changes in seasons where you live? Do you appreciate that?

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

*Tricycle is a monthly Buddhist magazine. The article, The Dharma of Snow was written by Ayya Medhanandi Bhikkuni.

Sometimes I Forget......- #206

Post 205 had the logo for shredder truck above - I forgot to mention that the image was an original - not harvested from Google. The proof is in the picture above: observe the container of papers stuck into the truck ready to be shredded and the friendly man I spoke to about his business.

Here at exploring the mystery the pictures used are all (unless otherwise noted) original. You can probably tell that because often they are off center or blurry. There will always be a connection between the image and the post. If you need help figuring out what the connection is email me, Nicky.Mendenhall@gmail.com with your question. 

Today's post is from A Network for Grateful Living, 2/21/2016 and the connection to the image is pretty obvious: 

We don't receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us.

MARCEL PROUST

Copyright © 2016 A Network for Grateful Living, All rights reserved.

What Can You Give Up? - #205

In 1908, Sigmund Freud wrote the classic paper,"Creative Writers and Day-dreaming." 

If you are making small talk with the neighbors and there's an awkward pause that needs filled, throw in the only sentence of Freud's paper that I underlined:

"Actually, we can never give anything up; we only exchange one thing for another."

I've been thinking about this statement all week. Is it true we can never give anything up?

It feels to me the old farm house I grew up in was given up when the decision was made to burn it down to clear the land.  I would love to set foot in it again but I have to give up that dream.  I don't know if that's the kind of thing Freud was talking about or not.

Can think of anything that you gave up without exchanging it for something else, please let me know.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

 

In Case Winter Is Wearing On YOU - #204

Using words over and over tends to flatten their meaning. We aren't able to feel a word because we've heard it so many times. The words sadness and loneliness are ones that may lose their capacity to move us.

Susan Piver, in the wisdom of a broken heart, offers suggestions for healing breakups with romantic partners that we can adapt to help us when winter desperation sneaks up on us.
  
When you are sad because ice makes you a prisoner in your own house, don't get angry at yourself or others. Piver suggests sadness can be a form of gentleness. Be gentle with yourself. Don't berate yourself because you are sad; recognize that sadness means you are in touch with your feelings.

If you begin to feel lonely, Piver might suggest that loneliness can be a form of fearlessness. She writes: "Our definition of fearlessness is the ability to open up to, accept, and even take delight in your world, in all the fabulous and insane things that happen within and around you." Recognize the insanity of dreading a blizzard that never happens.

Stay with your feelings fearlessly and you will develop inner strength. You will learn that feelings, no matter how strong, won't always be there and that Winter Storm Warnings do have an expiration date.

Hang in there - we are soon to be turning the corner into Spring!
Let me know if thinking about sadness as gentleness and loneliness as fearlessness gives you a new sense of the words.

Thank you for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

www.susanpiver.com

A Valentine For Readers - #203

A special Valentine to all of you who regularly read and comment on exploring the mystery. 

Thanks for all the ways you let me know that you are also exploring the mystery. 

Picture us as a community of people all over the country who are exploring the mystery.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Picture Lisbeth and Mason, April, 2015, Portland, OR.  

A Different Kind Of Valentine - #202

"Love has sacred power, not because it makes us high, allowing us to rise above ordinary life on clouds of blissful glory, but because it helps us relax the struggle between self and other that is at the root of human suffering."

That Struggle happens between self and other is a given. Through struggle with a significant other, learn what is important to you. Learn to welcome struggle. Relax your roots.

"Love is profound because it roots us in the earth…."

Look at the roots in the image above and imagine your self grounded in the earth's soil.

"The profound question love poses is, ‘Can you face your life as it is; can you look at all the pain and darkness as well as the power and light in the human soul, and still say yes?’"

Say yes to Life with all it's different parts. Don't banish anything. Out of the struggle comes new knowledge and new Life.

Have you ever seen these sentiments expressed on a commercially manufactured Valentine? What do you think of Valentine's Day? Do you give others Valentines? Let me know by replying to this email or commenting on blog comment section. I love to hear from you!

Thank you for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall


John Welwood quotes in italicized bold print.
 Inward/Outward is a project of the Church of the Saviour in Washington DC. January 8. 2016

 

A New Kind of Seeing - #201

My eye is healed. Many thanks for all the support and love this week. I appreciated your personal stories describing problems you were having with various body parts. Together we were exploring the mystery of body parts!

In Post 200, I quoted David Ulrich* who spoke of  the exchange of energy that occurs between us and what we are paying attention to.

Ulrich continues: "In losing the sight of my eye, I learned to depend to a greater extent on efforts toward self-awareness and connecting with my own body and feelings."

Three days in the dark, nursing the corneal abrasion, made me wonder what life would offer if I couldn't see.

I remembered Kate, my massage therapist, mentioning when she needs to evoke feelings of love, she gazes at a picture of her favorite dog.

Thinking of Kate's technique, I  remembered a deckle edged black and white photo of my first dog Yip.  I was on my knees with my right hand reached out touching his back.

Lying in the dark, I felt my way into a memory of that relationship with Yip.

It was an experience that didn't require my eyes.  

What do you see with your eyes closed? Remember the movie Eyes Wide Shut? What did that mean? Do you take care of your eyes? Tell us about your relationship with your eyes. Or your first pet. Or anything you want us to know about seeing.

Thanks for exploring the mystery of seeing - Nicky Mendenhall



*The Widening Stream by David Ulrich (2002).

Seeing - #200

Today, corneal abrasion meant most of my day spent with eyes closed. Lacking energy tonight which is because:

"Seeing is an exchange of energy that takes place between ourselves and the perceived objects of our attention."

Do you appreciate your eyes? Do you realize how much energy they provide you?

I do!

Quote from David Ulrich, 2002.

Are You Awake? - #199

If you befriend a Buddhist, you will learn that the Buddha vowed to sit beneath the Bodhi tree until he became enlightened (woke up).  

Pessoa (Post 198) reported that upon waking up, he needed time to know if he existed.   

Joseph Mauricio spoke for Daily Dharma Gathering on January 2, 2016. His topic: Becoming Awake.

My eyes squinted as I experienced a mini enlightenment flash when I heard Mauricio say, "Thinking is not being awake."

The implication is that while we are in our in our heads thinking, we are not awake. What do you think of this idea?

Being in our bodies, feeling sensations and feelings may be when we are truly awake. This is not my usual state but since working with a Somatic therapist to correct kyphosis (rounded shoulders), I have more awareness of my body sensations - which sometimes are uncomfortable.  Sometimes I'd rather not be awake.

What do you think constitutes being awake?  Do you want to be awake?

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

        

Another Wild Fernando Pessoa Quote - #198

"I'd woken up early, and I took a long time getting ready to exist."*

*Long term readers may recognize the name Fernando Pessoa. Fernando was many authors in one having numerous selves, each with a distinct biography, ideology, and horoscope. This quote is from The Book of Disquiet, Page 31.

Thanks for exploring the mystery of existence :
                                                  Nicky Mendenhall

True or False - Aging Causes Stiffness -- #197

"Age does not cause stiffness."*

According to Burras there are five key reasons why the body hardens and stiffens as we get older. None of these reasons has to do with the aging process itself.

1. Trauma

2. Repression

3. Stress

4. Inactivity

5. Contractive Movement

Burras explains each of these reasons in an article you can find on his website: JonBurras.com. Click on articles and find Aging Does Not Cause Stiffness - it is #13 on the list.

As you get older, do you have more stiffness? What do you think causes it? Do you think Burras' ideas about stiffness have merit? If you have questions, ask me in an email or in the comment section.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

Image is from booklet that came with my model skeleton last year. I received permission to use it!

Where Do You Look For Happiness? - #196

"The good news is that genuine happiness is not out there in the marketplace to be purchased or acquired from the best teacher around. 

"One of the best-kept secrets is that the happiness we’re striving for so desperately in the perfect spouse, the great kids, the fine job, security, excellent health, and good looks has always been within and is just waiting to be unveiled. 

"Knowing that what we are seeking comes from within changes everything."*


*Daily Dharma, January 16, 2016, B. Alan Wallace, "What is True Happiness?"

Photo: Restaurant in Riquewihr, France. Look closely at the awning for a surprise!

Toss Chocolate Feelings vs. Win Lottery Feelings- #195

Post #194 stirred readers up -  three readers self-described as rebels and refused to discard their chocolate. Does this mean they were afraid of feelings?

I'm going to leap out on a limb* with a challenge for all of us, especially the rebel trio:

Acknowledge the layers of feelings you hold in your body, mind, & psyche. Get to know them. Laugh at their extreme ridiculousness when needed. Honor the pain that fuels them. Do whatever you need to feel and observe feelings.

Please remember, bringing feelings to light doesn't make them true. Doesn't make you a bad person for thinking them. Feelings give you information about a deeper level of self. Feelings are like dreams - don't take them literally.

Zonker (one of Garry Trudeau's main characters in Doonesbury*) won a $23 million dollar lottery.

Reporters ask him how he felt when hearing the good news.

Zonker; "Well, at first I didn't feel anything. I just went numb."

Next panel: "Then I felt a rush of giddiness, followed by feelings of disorientation, queasiness, shortness of breath.

Last panel: "Hunger, rage, sexual longing, vertigo, boredom, and finally a tingling sensation."

That, my friends, is a thorough answer to the question of what you feel. If you can contact as many feelings as Zonker, you are on your way to mental health.

Let me know if you are re-thinking your relationship with feelings or if you have questions. Email me by replying to this message or go to comment section of blog.

Thanks for exploring the mystery of feelings - Nicky Mendenhall

*Influenced by acrobatic squirrels in my backyard.
**Doonesbury, Des Moines Register, 1/15/2016.

Wanna Meditate On Chocolate? - #194

"Understanding one’s emotions is seldom taught at any level."

"You cannot get it from a book."

"One of the techniques I created in a workshop was to tell the students that we are going to do a chocolate mediation. I pass around a box of Sees chocolates and have every person take a piece and hold it in their hand."

"I then have them close their eyes and visualize what it might be like to eat it." 

"After a short visualization of how the chocolate is going to make them feel better I surprisingly tell them to take the chocolate and throw it in the trash." 

"Now the emotions begin. Many people are sad. Some are angry at me for taking away their joy."

"We now have a chance to process their emotions. In order to learn about your emotions you have to have practice feeling them and not just analyzing them."*

Remember that to heal our feelings, we need to feel them  - not act them out.

 Dysfunctional families teach us to disregard the complexity of our feelings. It takes time to really get to know our feelings.

Let me know if you would throw away your See's chocolate. What feelings would bubble up if you did?  Is it difficult for you to know what you are feeling?

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

 *The first seven paragraphs are from an email message I received from Jon Burras, January 9, 2016. Thanks Jon.

Return To Nature (Burras' Book) - #193

"We develop most addictions and many degenerative diseases because we have stored energy in our bodies. When we cannot feel and express what our natural human nature wants us to feel and express, we then store the energy of those feelings in our body."*

Burras names the process of storing the energy of feelings in the body repression.

He continues: "Chronic pain is often the result of repression. This pain is the direct result of our inability to allow ourselves to feel and to have a relationship with our pain."*

"Recovery means being willing to experience your feelings, as intense as they might be, and learn from them. It is not necessary to try to change these feelings; simply accepting them is enough."*

Burras doesn't offer this but my experience has been that accepting less than desirable feelings is very difficult.

Burras believes that if our mind can feel painful feelings, our body will learn that we will not die from them. 

Does this sound like blaming the ill person? Does any of this resonate with you? Do you think the mind and body are this connected? Please let me know by sending me an email or going to comment board.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

*All quotes from Burras in Return to Nature (2011)

More Burras At Last! - #192

Practically every page I open in Return to Nature, by Jon Burras, offers something I want to share with you. I pick one thing but then think - no this other thing is more important. Time passes and I then pick a topic that is not from the book because it seems less complicated. 

Tonight, you are going to receive a few sentences from Burras that I'm not going to elaborate on but just offer them because time has again escaped me. I hope you will let me know if they are helpful or confusing; it you want to hear more from or not.

Here goes with a quote from Peter Levine that Burras highlights:

"In our exploration of trauma we have learned about the primordial energies (italics mine) that reside within the reptilian core of our brains. We are not reptiles, but without clear access to our reptilian and mammalian heritage, we are not able to be fully human. The fullness of our humanity lies in the ability to integrate the functions of our triune brain.


"We see that to resolve trauma we must learn to move fluidly between instinct, emotion, and rational thought. When these three sources are in harmony, communicating sensation, feeling, and cognition, our organisms operate as they were designed to."

I guess I have to comment! Mostly the word 'energies' excites me. Do you have friends that talk about 'energy'? Thinking that energy is primordial, (with primordial meaning original, primary) and has been with us forever is exciting to me. 

Now time is really up - so let me know if you have any idea what Levine, Burras, and I are talking about! Do these ideas excite you?

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

I feel most creatively alive when....- #191

Roger Housden's  email message greeted me this morning, the first message of a month long e-course.* 

The assignment for today was to use the sentence stub that is the subject of this post and write for ten minutes to see what you can learn.

Here's a few of my answers:

I feel most creatively alive when:
...looking for images to illustrate blog posts.
...thinking of ideas for blog posts
...making something for dinner using odds and ends from pantry
...creating little altars of art for beauty
...preparing for and working with clients
...waking up parts of my body that suffer from somatic amnesia
...having the impulse to do something and actually doing it

Normally I resist these exercises but hey - it's a new year! I actually enjoyed it today. I encourage you to sit down and try it yourself. Change the sentence stub to something more interesting to you if you like or leave out the word creatively.

Email me a few of your treasures.
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

The image is my Garden Goddess on back deck with her snow blanket.








To find out more about this class. click on the underlined words below:
http://www.spiritualityandpractice.com/ecourses

Snow!

The peaceful image of a seated woman on my back deck, was taken before five inches of snow blanketed her. She looks calm and serene doesn't she?

Taking baby steps, to avoid falling down in the five inches of snow that blanketed my office parking lot today, didn't feel calm and serene.

And took my blog post creative energy. 

See you next time!

There are comments in the comment section that you will enjoy - especially the ones about human and animal interaction.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

Magical Thinking Up Close & Personal - #189

Time: Early evening, Christmas Day 

Task: Riffling through Jon Burras' book, Return to Nature, 

Purpose: Need information on magical thinking.

Action:  An owl hoots loudly outside my house.  

My Usual Response: Find Animal Energies book by authors Garry Buffalo Horn Man and Sherry Firedancer. Read facts about owls and what "medicine" they offer, and explore owls vulnerabilities and blind spots and what these may communicate to me.

What Animal Energies offers:"If an owl has oriented on you, you can be certain that an aspect of your life is going to change, in a big way. Some people believe that Owl only comes to those things that are about to die. So not fear, though, for this does not mean physical death as much as it means the letting go of some part of you that is not serving you. Owls, with their spectral senses, are guides through the dark tunnel of fear and change to the certain light shining at the other end. Thank Owl for its willingness to guide you through its shadowy realm."

What Jon Burras offers: "Magical thinking is a way to interpret the world by telling ourselves a story. For instance, most people consider a dog's bark disturbing. But when an owl makes a noise, it becomes a mystical experience."

Let me know what you think. Remember there are no wrong answers.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

Look closely at the image - it's a barred owl!

Messing With Our Magical Thinking - #188

Where does one begin messing with magical thinking?  As the song says, "let's start at the very beginning."

According to Burras, humans began to walk upright, 3.7 million years ago.

(Are you now humming songs from the Sound of Music? If so, congratulate yourself, your unconscious is activated.)

Five hundred thousand years ago, present-day Homo sapiens emerged. 

Chellis Glendinning* believes that we have been human in biological and psychological development for about one million years.

Only in the last six or seven thousand years have civilizations, as we know them today, emerged. 

Alphabets and the creation of written language arose in the last five thousand years.

During these last five thousand years, Burras speculates that the following belief began to emerge: 

Humankind is not part of nature but is superior to nature.

At the same time, patriarchy and male dominance over feminine values began to emerge. Women, children, animals, and nature began to be dominated by the patriarchal way of thinking.

Intuition, sensation, and expression of emotion all began to lose ground to rational thinking, words, and repression of emotion. 

Intuition, sensation, and expression of emotion are characteristics that are largely unrecognized by patriarchy.  

In this week of holiday gatherings and time off from work, find time to listen to your intuition, feel your sensations, and express your emotions. See what happens. If you meet resistance, perhaps you've met patriarchy. Introduce yourself. 

And then let me know.We'll continue to sneak up on magical thinking...

In the meantime:
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall








*Quoted in Burras as being the author of My Name is Chellis and I'm in Recovery from Western Civilization

Image appeared after photo shoot of sunrise. A true mystery to me!



SPECIAL NOTE: If you need to know the other two corners of Four Corners of Movement to get closure, you are in luck - here they are: #3 is Integrative Movement and #4 is Playful Movement. #3 integrative movement works at re-patterning the nervous system using slow gentle movements. Examples: Alexander work, Feldenkrais, and Continuum all are examples of this work. #4, Playful Movement has few rules. Burras says most of us have forgotten how to play. Examples he gives are kayaking, dancing to music or swimming in the ocean.

Now in Corner #Two - #187

Did you note that the image depicting "Four Corners of Movement"(Post #186) had more than four petals? Someone I live with enlightened me. This was shocking news: I take finding images seriously.  

Movement begins in the mind according to Burras. 

Do you want to move when you look at the above image by Judy Sebern-Beachy*? What does your mind want your body to do when you focus on the above image?

That Corner #2 promotes Cardio-Strength Movement won't be a big surprise. What might surprise you is how Burras emphasizes the importance, while in corner #2, of including a full range of motion while practicing every movement. The other surprise from Burras: Don't be concerned with numbers (calories burned, heart rate).

Burras writes that movement is natural, exercise is not. That "in shape" doesn't necessarily mean "in health". 

What do you think of these ideas? Do you have a fitbit? Do you count calories?  

Warning! If you are not good at handling disagreement  - the chances that you will be upset with Burras and Me are mounting. We are going to mess with your magical thinking to start. Stick around and....

Continue exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

Check out  Judy Sebern-BeachyArt on FB to see her work. 

Four Corners of Movement - #186

I still don't know what happened last post - mystery took over! My apologies for cluttering up your inbox with duplicates.

Jon Burras* feels strongly that we need to move our bodies - he says everything in Nature moves and then makes the case that since we are part of Nature, we must move. He continues: Health is much more than just strength and a lowered resting heart rate.

In his book, Return to Nature, he asks if we are still moving our body with prehistoric beliefs in mind? He says if our answer is yes, it may be time to update our belief systems.

What belief systems do you think he is referring to?

The center of this post will explore one of the four corners of movement as described by Burras. Today we will look in corner number 1:

"Disciplined Movement. Disciplined movement involves a pattern or routine with emphasis on flowing and lengthening. "This is an organized set of movements that is either interconnected or practiced separately. There is a structure, a formula and a method for practice.

Examples of this type of movement might be tai chi, yoga or Pilates." 

I would add QiGong and Tango. What would you add? Do you have anything in this corner?

Until about eight years ago, this type of movement didn't work for me. I could name a number of factors why it didn't, but chief among them would be that I didn't have the right teacher. I needed someone to be very patient and to understand that I have two left feet and little sense of direction; Someone that had patience to help me go over and over movements until they were recorded in my flesh. 

When I found Ruth Kneile, I found my teacher. Tai Chi is now in my corner.

*You will be hearing more from Jon Burras in the weeks ahead.

speak your shame - #185

Speak Your Shame - #185

"In a 2011 study funded by the National Institute on Drug Abuse, researchers found that, as far as the brain is concerned, physical pain and intense experiences of social rejection hurt in the same way.

"Neuroscience advances confirm what we've known all along: emotions can hurt and cause pain. And just as we often struggle to define physical pain, describing emotional pain is difficult. Shame is particularly hard because it hates having words wrapped around it. It hates being spoken."*

Have you ever tried to put words on something you feel ashamed of? 

In my therapy session this week, before I could own up to something I felt shame about, I needed to be gently asked. "Do you want to express your feelings?" 

My initial answer was NO.  I felt too raw.

By the next session, I had garnered my courage and put words to what in the last session felt too hurtful to express. As you can guess, I'm not going to tell you what the issue was because that is not the point of this story. 

The point? When I said the words out loud - they didn't seem as horrific as they did when they were swirling around my brain. (Some of you may remember my newsletter Living Out Loud - I'm still learning!)

I can work with my "shame" now that it has words. Words that have been spoken outloud. Words that didn't cause my therapist to run screaming from the room. Words that in some strange way are beginning to set me free.

Before the end of the year, will you make an effort to admit to yourself, and perhaps one other person, something you feel shame about? Choose the person carefully. Find your words. Begin to heal.

Stay tuned - Jon Burras coming up soon.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

Posted 7/11/2015 (My copy is red - don't know why. Maybe redfaced shame?

Sorry for confusion - don't know what to say! I have confidence that you will explore the mystery & come up with a solution.

Do You Have Much Patience? - #184

"Since ever, in China, bamboo farmers have planted baby bamboo shoots deep into the ground. And then, for three years, nothing happens. But the farmers will work, diligently watering the shoot, spreading hay and manure, waiting patiently even though nothing is sprouting up. They simply have faith. And then, one day, the bamboo will shoot up and grow up to thirty feet in a month. It just blasts into the sky."

I owe this bit of knowledge about bamboo to Amanda Palmer. Her book, The Art of Asking (2014), describes what she learned while making her living as a human statue. She covered her face with white face paint, put on an old wedding gown, stood on a box on the sidewalk giving flowers to people who gave her,  "the bride", coins or poems. I didn't read every page, I didn't have the patience to read about the couchsurfing she experienced as a musician, but the parts I read were fascinating.   

Just between us, I don't have much patience. The world probably would not have bamboo if I was in charge. Sorting out Christmas CD's just now about drove me nuts! Many discs were not in their appropriate plastic cases and without exception were dusty which stirred up my allergies further trying my patience. My cleverly designed red box system to store CD's, doesn't seem to be working as it takes patience to find the correct category and box.  

Do you have patience? What tries your patience? When do you lose your patience?

More from Jon Burras soon. Are you feeling healthy? Are you moving?

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

Speak Your Shame - #184

"In a 2011 study funded by the National Institute on Drug Abuse, researchers found that, as far as the brain is concerned, physical pain and intense experiences of social rejection hurt in the same way.

"Neuroscience advances confirm what we've known all along: emotions can hurt and cause pain. And just as we often struggle to define physical pain, describing emotional pain is difficult. Shame is particularly hard because it hates having words wrapped around it. It hates being spoken."*

Have you ever tried to put words on something you feel ashamed of? 

In my therapy session this week, before I could own up to something I felt shame about, I needed to be gently asked. "Do you want to express your feelings?" 

My initial answer was NO.  I felt too raw.

By the next session, I had garnered my courage and put words to what in the last session felt too hurtful to express. As you can guess, I'm not going to tell you what the issue was because that is not the point of this story. 

The point? When I said the words out loud - they didn't seem as horrific as they did when they were swirling around my brain. (Some of you may remember my newsletter Living Out Loud - I'm still learning!)

I can work with my "shame" now that it has words. Words that have been spoken outloud. Words that didn't cause my therapist to run screaming from the room. Words that in some strange way are beginning to set me free.

Before the end of the year, will you make an effort to admit to yourself, and perhaps one other person, something you feel shame about? Choose the person carefully. Find your words. Begin to heal.

Stay tuned - Jon Burras coming up soon.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

*The Art of Asking (2014), Amanda Palmer, Page 212.

Listening To Internal Whispers - #183

I have been immersed in Return to Nature: The Five Pillars of Healing. The author, Jon Burras, who generously continues to advise me and provide invaluable information, suggests we use our intuition rather than our habits to guide our movement. 

For me, that means listening when I hear my internal voice whispering, "Nicky, remember when you read that sitting is the new smoking? You have been reading for a half hour. It is time to get up and do a few Tai Chi moves or get on the floor and practice the "tipped turtle." Go for a short walk - after all it is a sunny 50 degree Iowa December day!"

I want to not only listen - but take action. (I have been known to set a timer for a half hour so I will move when it goes off and then when it goes off, set it again without taking action.) 

No more!

Next time your inner voice urges you to move, pay attention. In the next few weeks, you will learn from Jon Burras and me why it is vital that you move, especially now that the dark days of winter are upon us.

Do you have enough movement in your life? What gets in your way of moving if you don't? What would help you get more movement into your life? What helps you move? Please share with us by sending me an email or going to the comment section.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

Two Additions to Post #180 - #182

In Post #180, I strongly suggested that after Thanksgiving Dinner you MOVE.  

If movement is painful or difficult for you currently - don't despair: 

Get down on the floor and do the "Tipped Turtle" - lie on your back, stick your hands and legs up toward the ceiling and move them around in circles approximately 20 - 30 times. Reverse and move them the opposite direction. Then pound the bottom of your foot - my Tai Chi teacher calls this part the bubbling well. It will stimulate your immune system and entertain your guests.

The image above offers another option: Two stretchy bands looped through a loop which is held firm by the door because of a little metal ball that prevents it from sliding through. Pull down using mostly core muscles - not your arm muscles. Find bands and loop online.

More from Jon Burras next post. Thanks for exploring the mystery and moving your body - Nicky Mendenhall

Five Pillars For Healthy Holidays - #181

As promised, more about Jon Burras. His response to my email request provides you with an overview of his book: 

  “My name is Jon Burras and I am the author of the a dynamic new approach to health in a book called Return to Nature: The Five Pillars of Healing. This work is a remarkably different model on life and health than most have been taught to believe. 

The Five Pillars of Healing were designed from natural concepts as opposed to many ideas these days which are birthed in a scientific laboratory. When we align with nature we obtain optimal healing; when we disregard nature or try to conquer nature we become our own worst enemy. 

The Five Pillars of Healing that I have created are the following; 
1. Recovery of the Mind 
2. Recovery of the Breath 
3. Recovery through Bodywork 
4. Expansive Movement
 5. Natural Recovery from Addictions. 

Within this framework you will begin to live a dynamic and vibrant life that unfolds within you as you become aligned with nature. Enjoy her journey.”

Namaste, Jon Burras

I found his address online and sent him an email to ask if he would be interested in collaborating with me for exploring the mystery.  This is what I love about the internet!

Which of the Five Pillars are you most interested in? We will be exploring them in the weeks to come.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

Photo of melting snow on sidewalk last year.(2014)

It's Thanksgiving Holiday Weekend - MOVE IT! - #180

"I believe in movement." Straightforward words from Patti Smith, writer, performer, visual artist.*

"Most people have very little idea about how movement works in our bodies, or how much movement is required for natural biological function." Warning words from Katy Bowman.**

Jon Burras speaks to us metaphorically: "Nowhere in nature do you see absolute stillness all of the time. Some movement is faster....a cheetah chasing after a  prey at sixty miles per hour is certainly much quicker than a glacier crawling down a valley floor at sixty inches per year."***

Smith, Bowman, & Burras join me in encouraging you to move after Thanksgiving Dinner: Walk, stretch, do some yoga poses or Tai Chi forms. Don't think of it as exercise, think of it as movement. Continue to move the rest of the holiday weekend. 


Email me or comment on blog describing what movement you make. Encourage me!

Thanks for exploring the mystery of movement with me -
                                                    Nicky Mendenhall

*Patti Smith, M Train (2015).

**Katy Bowman, M.S., Move Your DNA (2014).

***Jon Burras, Return to Nature (2011). You will be hearing more about Jon's approach soon though I can't get my computer to underline Return to Nature! A mystery to be explored indeed.

Promised Quote & Informal Poll - #179

"A friend of mine once abruptly announced: “I never do anything that will make me feel too good, because I know that when I feel very, very good, I start to marvel at the wonder of being alive. And then I become frightened. Partly it’s because the more I feel the beauty of being here on earth, the more I realize how fragile life is; how easily it can stop. And partly it’s because I just don’t know what to do with it all. I know I can spoil it if I touch it or even if I think about it. But it’s almost intolerable just to try to let it be. No, I’m really much more comfortable when I’m not too close to the wonder of life. When I’ve got problems or distractions or something to struggle with I feel much better, because then at least I know who I am and what I need to do.”
Gerald May
Source: Will and Spirit

Realizing how fragile life is is the line that speaks to me today. A few days ago (before I heard of a classmate's death), the phrase that spoke to me was "almost intolerable just to let it be." 

Do you suppose this is one reason we keep so busy - so we are not in touch with the wonder of life?

In brain group this morning, the discussion centered around whether or not we (as adults) have "fun"? The consensus was that joy described more our good feelings than fun did. This is an informal poll - if you are over 18 you may participate: Do you have fun?

What do you think? You may respond to the informal poll by email as well as letting me know how you deal with the wonder of life.  

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

Did I Stumble Upon Origin of exploring the mystery? - #178

A quote from Will & Spirit turned up on inward/outward last week - a quote I will treat you with next post. The quote was so intriguing it sent me on a search for my Will & Spirit book which was easy to find because of its distinct cover: dark blue with yellow block letters.

The seed for exploring the mystery 's origin may have been planted in my mind when I read Gerald G. May's book, Will & Spirit, April, 1986. (Were you even alive then?) From the beginning of my counseling career, I was interested in psychology and spirituality and May confronted the intersection of these two by creating a contemplative psychology. 

May says modern science recognizes that some element of mystery exists in all things, from the smallest subatomic particle to the very perimeters of the universe. He cites Einstein as saying:

"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious."

Was this the seed that grew in me for all these years that led to this blog? It is a mystery indeed. 

Thanks for sharing my excitement at how mystery works and leads to even more mystery. Do you like mysteries that you can't solve? What seems mysterious to you?

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

The image from Portland, OR., received April, 2015. When I read it, it seemed like another mystery. A tree producing cones after 6 million years!