Mason, my youngest son, commented he felt I was being vague about my scar when I didn't mention it directly as one of the concerns about my pink scalp.
I gasped.
In case you are wondering, the previous sentence wasn't stolen
from a Harlequin romance. Mason will validate that I speak the truth.
I gasped. The week I wrote about the back of my head, I didn't once think about the bumpy four inch scar from brain surgery.
I purposefully am not writing I forgot the scar. I often reach back and feel this weird addition to my body.The scar is where I can't see it but I never forget it.
But then, why wasn't I conscious of the scar when I was writing about the back of my head?
I blame my unconscious.
Freud thought that the unconscious was a force. Perhaps the force of my unconscious interfered with my remembering the scar when I wrote about the back of my head.
But why?
Well, maybe my unconscious is not ready to accept that my life was saved by surgery. Harboring a deep distrust of the current medical system, believing more in alternative medicine, how do I integrate the fact that modern medicine made it possible for me to walk again?
I certainly don't understand the unconscious but I do like being able to assign meaning when something stays out of my awareness.
That there can be meaning in what is not in our awareness or meaning in what we forget is something to explore. Do you ever wonder why you forget something? Would your unconscious have anything to do with it? What escapes your awareness? So you even believe in the unconscious?
Please reply to this email or go to website and comment.
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
Nicky, I totally believe in the unconscious, and I find it fascinating that your unconscious blocked your remembering the scar. You said that you like to assign meaning. I wonder what meaning do you attribute to the forgotten scar? I would love to hear your thoughts about it!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment Diane. I tried to explain the meaning I have assigned but wasn't clear enough and that may be because my husband is an MD. My relationship to traditional medicine has been rocky. I've found more help in the realm of alternative medicine but the fact is, what rescued me from losing my mobility was traditional medicine. I'm guessing that maybe my unconscious doesn't yet accept the fact that I was saved by what I once considered the enemy. I don't know any of this for sure - it is all speculation.
DeleteI would love to know why you "totally" believe in the unconscious. What a great statement - not a hint of doubt. I like that and as you can probably tell, "totally" agree with you!
Thanks again!
So ... I was a psych major in college and have an M.S.W. and have been in therapy 4 ever (once with a psychoanalytically trained therapist--l was on the couch). But aside from that, I have experienced how the unconscious protects us from things that we're just not ready to face (and keeps us from some things we should be facing!!) I also believe in the collective unconscious--the unstated, underlying truths/beliefs that we all share as part of our human genetic or, if you believe, our connection to spirit or God/Goddess, the Universe. I believe in intuition as well and an "inner knowing."
DeleteHi Diane......So glad to hear from you on this enormous subject! I noticed that you loved Dan's video today on creating a manifesto. I think your above statement could be part of your manifesto. I like how you point out how the unconscious protection can be for a good reason and how its protection can interfere with our growth.
DeleteThe collective unconscious - I'm impressed that you ventured in to make a definition! Words are so powerful and have meanings we each make for ourselves - and yet - and yet - we communicate!
It is wonderful to communicate with you! I look forward to your blog. Thanks so much!
I guess I believe in the unconscious and I sure do forget things. Especially small things that someone asks me to do. I’m not sure why as often it is something I like doing. I find myself turning on a light as a reminder. Friday night I started a loaf of bread that rises overnight and Saturday morning I meant to shape it before exercising but my routine kicked in and I didn’t even think about it till I came down and saw it on the counter.
ReplyDeleteNolan - what an interesting comment! So much I could note but for right now I will speak to your saying - "so often it is something I like doing". If I take a psychoanalytic stance, I would say that perhaps you have an unconscious belief that you don't deserve goodness or good things.
DeleteJust a guess my dear brother - let me know what you think! I so appreciate your reading and commenting. Means a lot to me!
I have noticed a puritanical streak in myself, but don’t know if that’s it. Wonder if you and the other sisters have felt the same?
DeleteNolan - I'm guessing that's it but tell me more what you mean about puritanical streak.
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