What Would It Mean To Jettison Your Meekness? - #94

Look closely at the image above. Do you see a fox? This fox jettisoned his meekness in order to explore our backyard. Scraggly and seemingly unafraid, he entertained us for several days. His presence gave us the gift of Nature. 

Presence is the greatest gift we can give others.   It may be relatively easy to keep our bodies at a holiday gatherings (there's all that food!) but our minds, addicted to constant stimulus, find it difficult to simply be present with other humans. 

On Sunday evening we were invited to a neighborhood holiday open house. When we arrived, people were milling around and talking loudly. It seemed to me that everyone wanted attention. They wanted someone to listen to their disappointments (I don't have time alone anymore, my grandchildren don't write me thank you notes), acknowledge their frustrations (my wife doesn't like my dreadlocks, I don't get paid enough), and join them in celebration (I'm leaving for Florida next week, we will be a grandparents next year). Each person needed someone to look them in the eye and listen. They needed the gift of presence. I could do that!

As the evening wore on, there were times when my mind wandered off and began imagining the hot bath I would soak in when arriving home. Which book would I baptize? 

There were times I had trouble being present without judgement; times when advice bubbled raucously inside me threatening to escape and pounce on an unsuspecting victim.

Wanting to give from my strengths, I jettisoned my meekness (a phrase I found online*) and asked questions. People seemed grateful someone bothered.  

What would you do if you "jettisoned your meekness"? Please share in the comments section - I would really like to know what you come up with. You can find the comments section here:
NickyMendenhall.blogspot.com 

Next post will be January 10, 2014. My computer needs repair (yes, again but I can still get emails on my I Pad) and it is time for a holiday break. Take care of yourselves and keep exploring the mystery!

Nicky Mendenhall

*Advent poem found on website "the beautiful due"- interesting site!
 

 

Gifted With A Quote On Giving

Giving needs to be practiced and developed because our underlying tendency toward attachment, aversion, and confusion so often interferes with a truly selfless act of generosity. Consummate observer of human nature that he was, the Buddha pointed out the many ways we can give with mixed motives: we give out of fear, or in accordance with tradition; we give with the expectation of return; we give in hope of gain, or a favorable reputation or rebirth; we give to adorn our mind, or simply because giving brings joy.

- Marcia Rose, “Dana: The Practice of Giving”

This quote was a gift to me this week. As humans, we usually have mixed motives; being aware of them brings them to consciousness.  What is our fear? What will happen if we go against tradition? Are we giving so we will obtain something?

When the joy of giving is absent, we can assume that our motives need to be examined.  

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

Homelessness - #93

I was homeless for a few days. It was 1997. Divorce final, family home sold, it was time for me to vacate the premises. The townhouse where I was planning to move would not be available for several weeks.

I remember the hollow feeling in my stomach when it became clear that I would not have an address. I was homeless.

Navjit Kandola is the creator of www.Tenderlogic.com.  I make time to read her posts; they speak to my heart as well as my head. This week she described a man who came to her aid when alone in London and how his presence taught her the importance of being present for others.   

Then she challenged herself not to turn away from those in need during this season, but instead have courage to provide for others. She promised to let her readers know what happens as she opens herself up in this way.

I emailed Navjit to ask if I could piggyback on her idea though I wasn't certain what that would mean. I only knew that when she discussed how giving can be complicated and fearful at times, I wanted to explore my own relationship with giving. Navjit was enthusiastic and encouraging in her response to me and said to keep her posted.

What do you like to give to others during this season? Do you ever feel fearful when someone in need approaches you? How do you decide who to help?
Please let us know in the comments section: www.NickyMendenhall.blogspot.com
Maybe we can help each other be more generous and thoughtful.
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

Midweek Medicine

If you looked through photographs stored on my computer, you would notice I like rocks. The ancient rock pictured above was in a garden connected to a Nunnery in downtown Hong Kong. Breathtakingly beautiful, it begged to be touched. There were no signs forbidding it so both of my hands caressed the surface that you see. 

This weekend, while trying to keep my hands warm, I browsed through my books, paying special attention to ones that have been important to me. I wasn't looking for anything in particular but noticed that my hands got warmer when I read:

"In ancient Chinese paintings, rocks represent energy centers that contain the life force, chi, that vital energy that connects everything. Rocks, then, are the very skeleton of the Earth."*

Now I know what attracts me to rocks and stones. Rocks hold the energy that my Tai Chi teacher says we feel when making an energy ball or making the movements that comprise the 24 Form. 

Next time you see a rock - see if you can sense its energy.

 *Marion Woodman, Bone (2000) 

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

 

Watch Who You Snuggle Up With! - # 92

In an effort to understand the principles and gifts of wabi sabi, I've been snuggling with books on the subject for weeks.

Knowledge of wabi sabi has changed my life.

Wabi sabi resists simple definition. 

There is not a single story to explain wabi sabi.  

Wabi sabi is sensation. 

The gifts wabi sabi offer me, which I'm calling sensation, are the abilities to be open to and to appreciate beauty in any and all its forms. 

For me, this is the essence of wabi sabi.   

Special Note: The painter Francis Bacon was instrumental in developing this post. Bacon found story boring - his desire was to paint the essence. Bacon lived from 1909 to 1992.
  
I enjoyed the book Marina Mander's bookshelf ate, (see Post 90): Interviews with Francis Bacon by David Sylvester.  

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

Midweek Encouragement

This week I had the urge to publish another poem written by Dorothy Walters*. Searching through posts to find which poem I had already published so as not to duplicate, I was gobsmacked to see that it was a year ago that her poem appeared - November 30, 2012.  
This poem is for you if encroaching daily darkness makes you sad, a miserable cold is sapping all your energy, or holiday planning thus far seems a burden. 

EVEN IF YOU HAVE TRUDGED

It is never too late. 

Even if you have trudged

through snow and ice for a thousand miles

and still have not arrived.

Even if the map is lost

and the compass broken.

When the eagle who is

supposed to guide you

goes off on a tangent

of its own

and you know you are,

once again, deserted

do not fall into 

the pit of despair.

It will return,

brighter than ever.

There will be feather tokens

falling down.

Nothing is irredeemable.

Nothing is lost forever.

Be guided by the stars.

Let the moonlight

direct your steps.

There will be a path

which will open

in the forest.

The treasure which is yours

is waiting.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

*The Ley Lines of the Soul (2012), Dorothy Walters. Used with permission.

What Happens When A Phrase Burrows Into Your Ear? - #91

"Does Symmetry Kill?"  

Last week I posed the symmetry question after wrestling with Marina Mander's thought-provoking opinion piece in Sunday NY Times. One paragraph echoed in my ear: Symmetry kills. 

Initially mind blanked out; symmetry appeared a foreign word. Does that ever happen to you?
  
Then my brain kicked in: years ago my beautician invited me to experiment with a new style - she called it asymmetrical. This meant that for a few months, my hair was only on one side of my head.

So symmetry must mean matching sides!

For some reason, my continuing fascination with wabi sabi, never forgotten for very long, bubbled up.   

Wabi sabi celebrates imperfection; symmetry requires objects or designs to be perfectly matched.

The imperfection of wabi sabi, its rustic and irregular beauty, would be killed by symmetry!

My perfectionistic tendencies are not only annoying, they can be dangerous.  

To discover the nugget of truth in words that continue to mysteriously resonate requires detective work.   Perhaps you will find a different lesson for yourself in the phrase Symmetry kills or perhaps my experience will encourage you to investigate words that won't leave you alone.

Special Note: After reading Post #90, you may have deduced my grandmother and Marina Mander suffered from Bell's palsy. You are correct.

Thanks for exploring the mystery with me - Nicky Mendenhall

A Wabi Sabi Thanksgiving Wish

"I sat at a table where were rich food and wine in abundance, and obsequious* attendance, but sincerity and truth were not; and I went away hungry from the inhospitable board."
                                                           Henry David Thoreau**

My wish is our exploration of wabi sabi the last few weeks prompts us to celebrate late arrivals and overcooked turkey. 

My wish is we will be sincere and truthful with one another as we gather together.

Here's hoping that our knowledge and awareness of wabi sabi adds a layer of gentleness to our lives. 

My appreciation for your participation exploring the mystery is immense. Publishing twice a week is helping me accept the wabi sabi that happens when there is not time to perfect each post. This week I couldn't resist my perfectionistic tendencies and returned to post 90 for some updating.

*I looked up the word obsequious; the archaic meaning is compliant, dutiful, which is my guess for what Thoreau meant in the quote above. You could argue that he could have meant the more modern definition: showing too great a willingness to serve or obey, fawning.

**Henry David Thoreau as quoted in Wabi Sabi by Diane Durston

Does Symmetry Kill? - #90

For some reason this morning I began to reminisce about my paternal grandmother's face. With a grimace on my face, I remembered her lopsided mouth. 

I remember not wanting to look at her. 

I loved my grandmother Carrie. She put mustard in Betsy Wetsy's diapers so Betsy's bodily functions would more realistic. Grandma had a never-empty chocolate-chip cookie jar. The youngest in her family, she was fun-loving and had an infectious giggle.

But when her face no longer had symmetry, I didn't like to look at her or even, if the truth be told, interact with her.

Marina Mander (November 17 Opinion piece in the Sunday New York Times) woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and reported seeing a sinister smile. 

In the emergency room, when the doctor asked how she felt, she replied it felt as if she had swallowed a Francis Bacon painting. The doctor gave her a blank stare. 

Which you may be giving your computer screen right now.

What if we approached differences - especially problematic ones - as challenges to our internal landscape? 

What if we viewed most things through the wabi sabi lens?  

Tune in next week for more information. I hate to close out on you like this but I'm feeling exhausted. This has turned out to be an emotional post to create. I need more time to think. I invite your thoughts on whether symmetry kills.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

Exploring the Mystery of Goethe's Quirky Wisdom

"Certain flaws are necessary for the whole. It would seem strange if old friends lacked certain quirks."

                                                      Goethe*

For Goethe's quote to have meaning for us, we probably need to accept our own quirks. But what are my quirks? In order to accept them, the first step is knowing what they are. Are quirks flaws?

Identifying my own quirks proved difficult. Everything on my list of possible quirks seemed normal to me ;>). And true to my bias of wanting everything perfect, I didn't initially pay attention to the phrase, flaws are necessary for the whole part.

Looking to Webster's New World dictionary for guidance,  I learned there are behavioral quirks and quirks of fate.

I was gobsmacked** when I read the sentence describing a quirk of fate:

When a strange twist of fate leads you to bump into your old high school sweetheart and you end up getting married, this is an example of a quirk of fate.

Quirks now seem mysterious to me. How do you define quirks? Do you have any? Please share with us in the comments section which you can access by clicking on the following: www.NickyMendenhall.blogspot.com 
*Goethe quote from Wabi Sabi: The Art of Everyday Life by Diand Durston **Gobsmacked is a British word I learned from my New Zealand friend many years ago. It is one of my favorite words and I use it whenever I can (is that a quirk?). Gobsmacked means to be completely astonished about something. 

3 Keys To Lowering Your Stress Level - #89

According to Koren,* the Japanese people who created the philosophy of wabi-sabi didn't trust nature; they learned from it. 

From observing nature they discovered three truths:  

1. All things are incomplete. 
2. All things are imperfect.
3. All things are impermanent.

The ubiquitous shopping bag (anchored in the tree you see above) is in my backyard. A resident for over a year, this sack became a container for rainwater.  Look closely.

When the bag established residence, I did not welcome it. It registered in my consciousness as ugly litter. It was several months before I realized the potential art installation nature of the bag.  

I then began checking it daily.  

When bloated with water, it no longer was free flowing and beautiful. It slipped to imperfect.

Presently tattered, ripped into two sections, impermanence is front and center.

Watching the progression from incomplete to perfect then to imperfect and finally to disintegration, I didn't become frustrated and stressed out. It all seemed normal and natural, expected even.  

Unfortunately the last few days, stress that occurs when one fights incompleteness, imperfection, and impermanence has been a house guest. If only I remembered how normal and natural chaos is for me while working on my computer.

On the surface, changing an email address doesn't seem too stressful but in reality, it was. Do you remember passwords? The answers to security questions? Do you understand computer speak?

Please celebrate with me as I announce the birth of a new email address:

                                                   Nicola.Mendenhall@gmail.com

Do you recognize how fighting these three truths causes you stress? Please let me know how you incorporate these truths into your lives by clicking on www.NickyMendenhall.blogspot.com and leaving a comment.

My old address will work for awhile so don't fret. Feedburner may still use my old address to deliver this to you. I'm still working on that.

Thanks for exploring the mystery with me - Nicky Mendenhall

* Wabi-Sabi for Artists, Designers, Poets & Philosophers by Leonard Koren (1994 & 2008)

Wabi Sabi Wisdom

"Would that life were like the shadow cast by a wall or a tree, but it is like the shadow of a bird in flight."
                                                    Haggadah, Palestinian Talmud*


*Page 58 in Wabi sabi: The Art of Everyday Life by Diane Durston

A Wabi-Sabi Quiz - Only Two Questions - #88

Have you found yourself silently entreating the wind to go easy on the beautiful fall leaves?

Do you know someone suffering from disease who is exploring the mystery of death while struggling to live what has been predicted to be the last few months of life?

If you answer yes to these questions (or similar questions), slow your breathing. Pay attention to your experience as you savor the following quote:

"The closer things get to nonexistence, the more exquisite and evocative they become."

This beautiful statement, by Leonard Koren author of wabi-sabi for Artists, Designers, Poets & Philosophers, describes the essence of wabi-sabi. 

My answer, as you probably have guessed, is yes to both questions.  
I think Koren might agree that our difficulty letting go and trusting the grief process is because when we encounter death (whether our own physical death or the death of an old internal pattern or the death of an other), we are shown the blessings and gifts we have been given in new ways. What we are letting go of is what has helped us survive.

Losing autumn's beauty to ice and bitter cold. Losing a twenty-year relationship that has had its share of fierce interpersonal storms while offering a rare type of intimacy. These two losses might plunge me into depression. 

Instead I hope to choose the difficult but healing feelings of grief. and invite them into my body so I can feel them and not run away or press them down unprocessed.


As the grief process continues, I want to stay present and aware.

How do you handle loss? What have been your experiences with grief? Is it easy for you to let go? Share your thoughts in the comments section. You can find it here: www.NickyMendenhall.blogspot.com 

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
 

Louis L'Amour Explores the Mystery!

"There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning."*

Upon first reading the above quote, attributed to Louis L'Amour, my breathing slowed.   

My body sensed the wisdom of these statements.  

After several deep breaths, my mind offered these memories:

In 1997, my marriage of thirty-three years ended. I felt life as I had known it was finished. Five months later, my Mother died on my birthday.  As you can imagine, it was a dark time for me.

The grief process was my companion for many months before I could trust the truth contained in the second sentence.  

How about you? Have you ever thought that everything was finished only to learn that it was the beginning?

Share your experiences in the comments section which you can find by going here: www.NickyMendenhall.blogspot.com 

*The daily quote on Inward/Outward for 11/4/2013.  

Wabi Sabi Meets Office Depot- #87

As we learned from Rilke midweek, you can find beauty and meaning anywhere.

Finding beauty and meaning everywhere is easier when you know and follow the principles of wabi sabi.

Leonard Koren defined wabi sabi as "the beauty of things imperfect,  impermanent, and incomplete....a beauty of things modest and humble....a beauty of things unconventional."

This morning I let myself enjoy a wabi sabi moment: I cashed an Office Depot Rewards check for $13.81. It was my first check from the Rewards Program! The check was wabi sabi - it had an expiration date.  

I love office supply stores. Do You?

They are filled with modest and humble items that are satisfying to purchase and useful to have on hand. 

Today I scored #2 Clean Seal Bubble Mailers, six of them in a package! And a twin pack of Sharpie Broad/Large black markers!

While desperately searching for a flashlight the last time the electricity was off, I made a mental note to stock up on flashlights. Flashlights are not, in my mind, conventional items to find at a traditional office supply store but after I snatched up the bubble mailers, a huge display of flashlights on "Sale" appeared.  

A 3-Pack Aluminum LED Flashlight set complete with 9-AAA batteries glimmered. The small compact flashlights were different colors. Beautiful! And I know they won't last forever.

It has been a day filled with wabi sabi moments!  

Let wabi sabi enrich your life! Tell us your wabi sabi moments on the comment section of the blog. You can find it here: www.NickyMendenhall.blogspot.com






  
  



 

Midweek Bonus Post: No Worthless Place

"If your daily life seems of no account, don't blame it; blame yourself that you are not poet enough to call forth its treasures. For the creative artist there is no impoverishment and no worthless place."*

And I would add, no foul moods! Are you way ahead of me and understand how I might be connecting the Rilke quote (perhaps not so much the sign) to wabi sabi? 

If so, let me know in the comment section on the blog itself (You can get there by clicking here: www.NickyMendenhall.blogspot.com or email me by hitting the reply button on this message. Thanks for exploring this mystery with me!



*Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet, Paris, February 17, 1903.

wabi sabi - #86

Yesterday I spotted a stout man wearing a chainsaw in the backyard. Right before my eyes, without ceremony, he lifted his apparel and began to cut off all the branches that, in this picture, are still attached. 

The man's hair wasn't quite covering his bald spot but this didn't appear to concern him. After the branches were severed, he proceeded to slice his blade into the tree trunk. Stopping periodically to rest, he would push on the tree.  As happens when one is attempting to root out a long standing pattern, the trunk did not want to let go of its familiar stance.  

My heart felt a tender spot for this ugly, messy, and decidedly wabi sabi tree as it finally surrendered and fell over. I wasn't alone with my affection for it - the birds are in mourning.

It would be logical for this post to enlighten you; to describe in detail the meaning of wabi sabi. This is not easy for me to accomplish. I experienced a similar difficulty defining the elusive   Shadow.

The following Zen quote* gives me a great deal of comfort:

"Those who know don't say; those who say don't know."

The first Japanese people involved with wabi sabi all practiced Zen and had been steeped in the Zen mindset.

Essential knowledge, in the Zen doctrine, can be transmitted only from mind to mind, not through the written or spoken word.

Learning in this manner is foreign to us Westerners. I know what wabi sabi means to me but I am not going to wrestle with words this week.  Maybe my years meditating at the Zen Center in Des Moines rubbed off on me more than I suspected.

We will continue to explore wabi sabi in the next few weeks.

Each of you may want to explore the mystery of wabi sabi. Please share with us what you discover. 

Thank you for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

*Wabi Sabi for Artists, Designers, Poets & Philosophers by Leonard Koren (1994 & 2008)

Do You Agree With Carl Sandburg?

"One of the greatest necessities in America is to discover creative solitude."*

I agree with Sandburg. As an introvert, I like solitude. I need solitude. 

With winter approaching, my desire to hibernate, like the bear Emily Carr mentioned in Bathtub Bonus Post last week, is strong. 

However, being a human and not a bear (at least most of the time!), optimal well being consists of a balance of solitude and social time. 

To be perfectly honest, I'd like to formalize a schedule that would dictate how many hours of solitude and how many hours of socializing is optimal. This doesn't work.

Why? Because as Buddha told us (and as we pay attention to reality we discover for ourselves) everything is constantly changing. 

Listening every day - dare I say every hour - for what will foster my creativity and well being is my now my challenge.

How do you determine your needs for solitude? For socializing?

*Quote by Carl Sandburg selected from Wabi Sabi: The Art of Everyday Life(2006), a book you will be hearing more about in the coming weeks. 

If you don't know what Wabi Sabi means, please don't look it up. Make something up and let me know in the comments section what you create before you read Post #86, which if you are a subscriber, will be popping up in your inbox Saturday morning.  

Sign up by clicking above my picture on the blog. You can find it here: www.NickyMendenhall.blogspot.com.                                  

Wisdom: Avoiding the Faux Knowing Place - #85

Shadows, Saliva, Anger, Kudzu, and Boys in the Basement have been mysteries explored in the posts and bonus posts of exploring the mystery these last few months. I've learned and grown from these explorations of life's mysteries.

When I saw the cover of the November Oprah magazine

Life's Mysteries--Solved!

I didn't rush to open the magazine. I have learned the excitement that comes when one is deeply exploring the mystery for one's self. Admittedly there are hazards to be faced when unraveling any sort of mystery. 

When I feel puzzled by something I don't understand (a mystery), my tendency is to rush to my KNOWING Place.

My knowing place is where I KNOW what someone else is thinking, I KNOW what an image represents, I KNOW how I feel & how everyone else feels, and I KNOW what is right and what is wrong. 

All of these KNOWINGS get in the way of me staying open to receiving more information from the situation or from the other.

The Rilke* reading for October 18 synchronistically says this in a more elegant manner:

"Outside of poetry and art, security is only and ever achieved at the cost of the most inescapable limitation. This diminishment consists of choosing to be satisfied and pleasured by a world where everything is known and where preoccupation with self is both possible and useful. But how could we want that? Our security must become a relationship to the whole, omitting nothing."

 While I don't totally understand what Rilke means, each time I read his words, I know a little more about the pleasure of staying open to mystery and not rushing to solutions. I hope the same is true for you.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall



*A Year With Rilke: Daily Readings from the Best of Rainer Maria Rilke, Translated and Edited by Joanna Macy & Anita Barrows (2009)
 

What Do You Read In The Bathtub?

My library contains books that won't close tightly because the bottom edge dipped into bath water when I wasn't looking. My new resolution: read only small paperback books while in the tub. My current favorite: Hundreds and Thousands: Journals of an Artist (1966).

Emily Carr's journal describes her love of nature, her life with animals, and her struggle to be taken seriously as a painter. Emily is unabashedly honest about her life and because of her frankness, it is surprisingly difficult to stop reading her daily entries.  

This means my bath water often loses its charm. Now in the living room, snuggled up in my cloak, I listen to the rain on the window as I read an entry dated October 11, 1935. It is too moving not to share: 

"The first dismal rain of winter. Summer hanging between life and death. Everything shivering and dripping like the time between death and the funeral. War news dismal, fires sulky. If one were a bear, now, how jolly it would be to take your fat-prepared body into a hollow tree already selected, ball yourself up with your paws over your face, and sink into a peaceful stupor, absorbing your own fat for sustenance without even the pest of selection, chewing or dish-washing."

Her words comfort, excite, and prepare me for the new season. I hope you enjoy.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

Marbles and Their Owners Model Multiplicity - #84

While attending the First Annual Des Moines Marble Show, I observed thousands, dare I say millions of marbles. Marbles of all sizes and colors and materials. Antique marbles and newly created marbles. Marbles that glowed under black light. Marbles in mint condition and marbles with scars. 

Marble Collectors displayed their treasures by color, by size, in wooden display boxes, in zip lock bags.

The multiplicity of marble collectors pleased me: Harley Davidson fans, down home folks from MO, glass artists, business men and women. One especially nice dealer was Jay Steward - note the marbles in the background.

When attending the First Culturally Competent & Ethical Social Work Practice with LGBTQ Individuals Workshop on September 20th, I found it ironic that the audience wasn't as diverse. 

All of us white-middle-class-women in attendance learned that sex, gender role, gender identity, and sexual orientation can all be seen on a continuum. According to our presenter, none of these categories is an either or proposition. Think of the diversity that makes possible!

By her very presence our presenter Julia McGinley, LMSW, demonstrated the power we can access by believing in and living out of our own uniqueness while we honor diversity. 

Julia wears men's ties and sports a traditional men's haircut. She reported she doesn't feel like a lesbian but prefers to identify as gay. Julia's face was feminine in the traditional sense but her body type, movements, and gestures were masculine in the traditional sense. 

For the first few hours of her presentation, my brain scurried about trying to undo either/or conditioning. I needed to develop new neural pathways that would honor continuum's for sex, gender role, gender identity, and sexual orientation that she was modeling for me.

Why is it so difficult for us in the twenty-first century to appreciate and accept the differences in people when we appreciate variety in other settings?

How do you handle diversity?

Congratulations to Nina Hiatt who won last week's contest! Here's her observation: OK, the obvious is that marbles are all different colors but basically the same in shape & content and all beautiful and make life interesting!

P.S. I bought a bag of beautiful marbles from Jay and my toes are practicing picking them up. Still not easy but possible.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

Have You Lost Anything Besides Your Marbles?

I lost my world, my fame, my mind --
The Sun appeared, and all the shadows ran.
I ran after them, but vanished as I ran --
Light ran after me and hunted me down.*

This Rumi poem moves me though I would be at a loss to explain it. A goal I have set for myself is to hang out with poetry when it appears in my life. My intuition says there is a new world waiting if I but resist the tendency to skip poems. This poem gets more meaningful to me the more times I read it! I now have my own explanation of what it means!

Most poems gift me with a word or a phrase. 

You won't be surprised to hear that my favorite line in this poem is: The Sun appeared, and all the shadows ran. 

Undoubtedly, after marbles, shadows. (My attempt at a line of poetry!)

Is poetry a part of your world? Do you feel uncomfortable when a poem doesn't make literal sense? How do you deal with this uncomfortableness? I would love to know.

Exploring the mystery continues - Nicky Mendenhall

*Mevlana Jelaluddin Rumi
(1207 - 1273)
English version by Andrew Harvey

Have You Lost Your Marbles*? - #83

When the demented character in Caine Mutiny, played by Humphrey Bogart,  jangled metal balls in his pocket as a sign of craziness, it was so convincing that people believed this incident was the origination of this idiom*. 

During the last session with my physical therapist, she inquired if I had any marbles. I tried to reassure myself her question was not the same as, "Have you lost your marbles?" 

It wasn't. Picking marbles up with my toes, she explained, was a technique to strengthen my feet.

I hate to be the one to break it to you but marbles are not that easy to find in the twenty-first century.  After multiple phone calls and ten minutes of actual store shopping, I settled on a pack of plastic "marbles" from Target. 

My spirit, dampened by these ugly plastic orange and blue objects and humbled by the the exercises  difficulty, was ready to throw in the towel. Then I spotted a tiny black-box advertisement in the free weekly paper: The First Annual Des Moines Marble Show!

I knew I had to get there if it cost me an arm and a leg!  

Last week I promised a post on marbles and diversity. Diversity is on my mind because of the "Culturally Competent & Ethical Social Work Practice with LGBTQ** Individuals" workshop you heard about last week.

Lest this post become too long and burdensome and I lose marble toe time (also different from losing my marbles), I will close for this week and ask you to create a connection between marbles and diversity. If this sounds like a contest - you are correct!

The prize for the most creative answer: my copy of The Accidental Masterpiece: On the Art of Life and Vice Versa by Michael Kimmelman. Michael lectured at the Des Moines Art Center last year and charmed my socks off. If you ever get a chance to hear him speak or read his book, it will be time well spent.  My favorite chapter: "The Art of Collecting Lightbulbs." It's a great book and I'm eager to share it with one of you. 

Email me your entry before 10-17-2013. The author of this blog (me) will judge the entries and contact the winner. If you don't have an idea how to combine diversity and marbles and you still want to enter the contest, email me and let me know you want the book. If there are no entries, the first email wins!

Thanks for exploring the marble mystery - Nicky Mendenhall


*Idiom - words that make no literal sense but strung together have meaning. That's my definition - you might want to look it up for yourself. For extra credit - find the other idioms in this post!

**Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer/questioning

Goethe Quote (?), Pronunciation Hint & Cautionary Word

The quote for this beautiful fall day is attributed to Goethe by W. H. Murray in The Scottish Himalayan Expedition. Murray's use of the Goethe quote was cited in The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles by Steven Pressfield. In other words, I haven't been reading original Goethe poetry, just Pressfield. 

"Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, magic, and power in it. Begin it now."

I am going to be bold: I've learned how to pronounce Goethe! If you want to be bold and experiment with the magic and power of learning something new, go to YouTube and type in "How to Pronounce Goethe." Or if you are one of my literary friends and Goethe's name rolls off your tongue easily and often, type in your own "How to...."  Perhaps see if you can learn how to create magic and power.  

The next time you meet with your friends or are chatting with acquaintances at the health food store or working out at the gym, give into your temptation to share a Goethe quote, after all, you probably now know how to pronounce his name!  However, let me warn you that The Goethe Society of North America isn't certain this is an authentic Goethe quote. Use at your own risk.

Thanks for exploring the mystery of Goethe quotes - Nicky Mendenhall

And the Winner Is...... -#82

If you are a tech savvy person with a competitive streak, last week's jumble of words didn't deter you. Excited by the idea of a contest, even though the prize this time was nonexistent, several of you formulated possible topics for a workshop that would fit needs listed.

I was impressed with the quality of the entries; one especially astute reader wrote: "treatment of sex offenders or homophobic bullying." 

Yet another perceptive reader wrote:

What an intriguing list.

That class could be about counseling any number of groups of people.  For instance:

• teens
• retirees
• victims of violence 
• single moms
• schoolteachers
• people from generational poverty
• ministers
• counselors

A person dear to my heart admitted she was "clueless!" 

The name of the class:

Culturally Competent & Ethical Social Work Practice with LGBTQ Individuals.

If you are one of the ambitious readers who submitted an entry for this contest, consider yourself a winner.  I love hearing from you!

Next week: Marbles and Diversity.

Thanks for exploring the mystery with me - Nicky Mendenhall

Midweek Mystery Post einstein

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this "emotion" is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder, or stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead. His eyes are closed. Albert Einstein (I wonder where my computer is) Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

What Are Your Needs? - #81

Fourth Friday after Phenomena Post. Sitting in Room 201 Pappajohn Educational Center, downtown Des Moines. Directly in front of me, written with green marker on whiteboard, the word NEEDS, followed by these words: Allies Sex Ed Support System Safety Coping Skill Access to Service Role Model Mentors Trained Professionals Can you guess what continuing education workshop I'm attending? Consider this a contest - submit your guess by replying to this email. I will publish your guess (with or without name) next week and tell you the name of the workshop. You may be surprised. You can also consider whether or not you have these same needs and if so, whether or not they are being met. During my break, which was restorative because I ate brook trout fresh out of the Thompson River, read multiple books, had plenty of time for exercising and relaxing, played a day and two nights of Pepper, spent time with a ten month old who was delightful, and hiked around Bear Lake twice. There were also challenges: escaping flood waters in CO and enduring technology's dark side, sending my ASUS Ultrabook back to factory. This means I'm composing on my IPad and will be until UB comes home. You can expect shorter posts, no pictures, and perhaps a little less enthusiasm. Probably these challenges are raising shadow issues! Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

What a Phenomenon! - Post 80

 I'm not empty but a desire to temporarily roll away from the computer is making itself known, therefore,
there will be no exploring the mystery posts for  three or maybe even four weeks!  

(It is difficult to determine in advance the duration of a restorative roll.) 

If you haven't already, this would be the perfect time for you to click on the subscribe link (found above my picture on the blog), and follow the two-step sign-up process.   The benefit for your effort? An email containing the latest post will be delivered directly to your inbox. This means you  will know when the rolling has ceased.    

See you in a few weeks!  Thanks for exploring the mystery! 

Nicky Mendenhall

Midweek Bonus Post

There seems no end to my fascination with the Shadow.

To help me understand and remember what resides in the Shadow, I made-up a word:
"Emotional-drivers"

The Shadow contains emotional-drivers: emotional-drivers reside in our primitive brain. They drive us to take action. The behaviors encouraged by emotional drivers, since initially not mediated by our thinking brain, can get us in trouble.

Let me warn you - emotional-drivers feel authentic (they use words like always and never), so it is very difficult not believe the story they tell us.

We habitually try to ignore or deny our emotional-drivers. If only we would pay attention when they are in action, we would notice that our heart rate increases and our blood pressure rises.  

If we bring emotional-drivers into our awareness by using our body signals, we are less likely to be bullied by them. We can stop and make a reasoned choice.

Feel free to use this word whenever you want to understand your own behavior and how it relates to the Shadow. Let me know if this helps or makes understanding the Shadow more confusing. 
(Caution: the acronym for Emotional Driver may raise eyebrows if you use it indiscriminately.)

Thanks for exploring the mystery and the Shadow - 
Nicky Mendenhall

Poet/Performer Describes Shadow Work* - #79

Enthusiasm is one of the most powerful engines of success. When you do a thing, do it with all your might. Put your whole soul into it. Stamp it with your own personality. Be active, be energetic, be enthusiastic and faithful, and you will accomplish your object. Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.

                                                                           Ralph Waldo Emerson

Recently it was my privilege to hear Tiffany D. Flowers speak about her life and work as a poet and performer. Tiffany blew me away with her courage, talent, and ability to listen to herself. She must have read Emerson!

She began reciting one of her poems and stopped suddenly: "I'm not "feeling it" she explained. A few minutes later she proceeded to wow us with her original passionate poem.

In an email, Tiffany commented that the subject of the Shadow was an amazing one and gave permission to quote her. See her website: www.TiffanyDFlowers.com for pictures of her and a sample of her writing. 

During this soulful presentation, I jotted down sentences to share with you:

"I didn't even know I was in a bad situation. I thought I could fix (whatever was wrong) and be perfect.

"I'm learning that I CAN feel sad and scared – that I can be upset when a man puts a gun to my Mom’s head.

"I have disguised my struggles by acting strong. I took refuge in imagining things were different than they were.

"I'm working to have the courage to remember the truth.
I am still programmed to be the way I was but I'm learning that my main job is to maintain my happiness.

"Now I ask myself when I meet people: Is my purpose to get acceptance or is it to connect with the other?”

Do you see how Tiffany is doing Shadow Work? Tell us on the comment section.

*You didn't see the word Shadow in this post - only "shadows" of the Shadow. Were you able to apply what we've learned the last few months?

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall