I've Moved to New Digs!

Thanks for visiting me here - but I'm no longer really here as my posts are now featured on my new website: NickyMendenhall.com

Wednesday's Wide-eyed Warm-up - #117

There's a lot to explore these days as we move to the new website:
                              NickyMendenhall.com 

If you missed it on social media, here is my interview with Diane Gottlieb:  

https://dianegottlieb.com/interview-with-nicola-mendenhall/

It is the first time I have been interviewed regarding my new life as a writer. I ask only that you ignore my frequent use of "Well" to begin sentences and not pay attention to how often I insert the word "just."  It was fun to read the comments section to this interview on her website. I'd love to know if you learn anything new about me, if something surprises you, or which part(s) of the interview (it's quite long) were the most interesting.

Tech genius Dan, moved my Blogger subscription list to Mail Chimp - the service I will use to send you the weekly posts - so if you currently receive my posts - you shouldn't have to re-subscribe. If you do sign up from the new site, the service may tell you that you already are on the list. If for any reason, you do not receive emails from me any longer, LET ME KNOW!

Thanks for continuing to explore the mystery with me! Nicky

Change is in the Air - #116

Blogger has been the home for this blog since 2012. 

In celebration of 2020 and in preparation for publishing my memoir unveiling the intricacies of my decade of Freudian psychoanalysis, exploring the mystery is moving to NickyMendenhall.com

Check out my new digs! Click on blog at the top right hand corner of the Home page to get this week's "sort of" blog post.

Please let me know if you have any problems! Any suggestions welcomed. Thanks for reading and enduring this change. I know it is a pain in the neck to change but hopefully it will be worth it. 

Thanks for really exploring the mystery! Nicky Mendenhall




eeI have a new website

End of the Year Contest! - #115

This, the last post of 2019, is designed to give you a chance to use your creativity and imagination. Guess what the above image is or bestow it with a proper name.

Here's a hint: 

It was hiding in a head of cauliflower! 

We haven't given the creature a name so consider this a contest and send your entry by replying to this email or posting your guess in the comments section. All entries will be considered and appreciated. 

Happy New Year and thanks for reading, letting me know you read but don't comment, and actually commenting. Soon I will be moving this blog to my own website so stay tuned for directions on how to sign up to receive blog posts from the new site. I know some of you left a comment and I didn't receive it - so hopefully this will never happen again. I'm excited!

CLUE for richer living: In honor of my Dad, who would have been 99 years old this month, gaze at the horizon. It was one of his favorite things to do and why he didn't appreciate mountains that much. Can you see the horizon on a daily basis? Do you notice it? What does it feel like to see it?

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

Do You Love Year End Musings? - #114

I remember 2016 as the year my life lost clarity: diagnosed with NPH*, I closed my psychotherapy practice which meant premature retirement.

I remember 2017 as the year of transition: a recalcitrant patient, submitting to  surgery disguised as a procedure,  I then opened more fully to love from family and friends.

I remember 2018 as a year of healing: retirement enriched by a year of Master Mind, meeting other artists, working with book coach, discovering writing is satisfying.   

I will remember 2019 as a year of writing: completed rough draft of memoir describing my experience in Freudian psychoanalysis and beginning collaboration with Mary Nilsen, editor and publisher at Zion Press.

Typically I resist year end summaries. This year, however, it felt invigorating to see where I've been and the direction I am headed as we move into 2020. My challenge to you - what do you remember about the last few years? Can you name a theme for each year? Please share with me anything you discover. My clarity came from thinking about this and writing. I didn't realize some of this before. Or if you hate the whole idea, let me know that too. I used to resist breaking life into themes fiercely so I will undoubtedly understand.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

CLUE for better living: Before you get out of bed in the morning, pull the covers back and stick up your legs/feet and arms/hands and circle them clockwise for a few moments and then counter clockwise. This will wake up you entire body! Try it and see if it jump-starts your day! Ruth, a favorite former Tai Chi teacher initially called this the dead bug but eventually renamed it as the tipped turtle. Thanks Ruth!

*Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus

Image: The Guardian sits shivering with a lap full of snow.

Do You Believe in Stages?- #113

Reopening the David Ulrich* book, inspiration for the recent series of posts on the stages of the creative process, my intent was to discover what he listed as the next stage.

Before I glanced at his answer, I was blindsided by a strong epiphany: 

There really are no hard and fast stages in the creative process. 

This quickly morphed into another epiphany: 

There really are no hard and fast stages in the grief process.  

Sheepishly I recalled posts 106-112. My chosen words undoubtedly implied there is "right" order for the creative process to unfold.  Even more sheepishly, I recalled how as a psychotherapist, I would hand out copies of a diagram, the Grief Wheel, which I proudly explained to my unsuspecting clients, meant they would feel their grief in these particular stages.

I think these epiphanies are also here to remind me there is no right way to do the holiday season. Each year is different. Each person is different. Does anything happen in preordained stages? Do you think things happen in predetermined stages? Let me know what you think!

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

CLUE for living a full life: Strike up a brief conversation with a person you ordinarily would not. See what happens and let me know. Did you learn something? What? Just a few words can change your mood or the mood of someone else, hopefully to a more positive state. 

IMAGE: This image of ice and mud was in my Dropbox account and I picked it out randomly. We've had some of each already this year!


* Zen Camera by David Ulrich. If you are curious what Ulrich proposed, he said responsibility and release were the final stages. 

* David Ulrich's Zen Camera is well worth a look if you want to read about the creative process and at the same time, learn about establishing a daily practice in photography.

Create A Healthy Body? - Stage 6 - #112

During my bi-weekly training session yesterday, my personal trainer said in a kind but firm voice:
     
"Tighten your abdominal muscles. Tuck in you glutes. Stand up straight." 

"Tighten your abdominal muscles. Tuck in your glutes. Stand up straight."

Yes, she had to say it more than once.  I'll spare you typing it as many times as she had to remind me. 

This post is a reminder, as we move to stage 6 of the creative process, that the creative process isn't just activated when we are writing or painting or composing a song.  Being in your body, paying attention to how you are in your body, is a creative endeavor.  Cooking is a creative act. Organizing is.

The creative process isn't for the faint of heart and this becomes more clear as the stages unfold. For example, Stage 6 calls for discipline. It takes discipline to engage the core, stand up straight, have good posture. The hardest part for me is remembering to pay attention.

I want the discipline to tighten my abdominal muscles, tuck in my glutes, and stand up straight when I am standing at the kitchen sink, bathroom sink, or sitting in my chair reading. What am I creating? A healthy body!

Do you consider your physical exercise a creative act? What is your most creative activity? Do you have discipline? Please let me know!

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

CLUE* for Living Your Best Life: Look around and find the oldest thing you see. Then look around and spot the newest. What, if anything, do they have in common? Which one will last longest?

IMAGE: The Guardian is happy I swept all the leaves off the deck!


* Idea from Rob Walker's The Art of Noticing

Exploring Epiphany and Insight! - #111

Stage 5, the sought-after state of the creative process. This is the time when experiences of epiphany and insight are most likely to proliferate.  

The esteemed editor returned my MS with erudite comments which means I'm ravenous to read what she offered and make corrections and additions.  Much to my dismay the first few lines of my introduction disappointed me - they no longer felt accurate. This, I mused, is when I need an epiphany!  

When one didn't materialize, I thought about practicing negative capability: I might be able to continue reading if I just kept in mind that I didn't have to know right now how to fix the introduction. My desire was to keep reading but my stubborn self kept resisting, insisting we rewrite the introduction right now. My negative capability was weak. 

I had to know how I was going to work the problem out. I couldn't stay with not knowing and continue reading. I stayed up way too late and hammered out replacement words. It's too early to tell if they will stay for the long haul.

What's the lesson? I'm not entirely certain. Maybe the epiphany was disguised and I didn't recognize it. At any rate, I do have a start. How do you recognize epiphanies? What qualifies as one in your mind? How are they different from Insights? This creative process is full of mysteries! 

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

CLUE for Better Living*: Be alert for curious and unexpected smells. See if you can identify four different smells in the course of one hour. We need to use all of our senses.

*Adapted from an article in The Art of Noticing by Rob Walker

Image could have been the result of an epiphany that I missed.

You'll Never Guess What Stage 4 Is! - #110

Have you heard the term "negative capability"?  

I believe these two words are a different way to think about the way Ulrich describes the tasks in Stage 4 of the creative process. He writes we need to retreat, review, research, and seek refinement  

I've been reading that if you have negative capability, you are able to handle not knowing. There is a certain amount of not knowing in retreating, reviewing, researching and seeking refinement don't you think? "Knowing" would block all those r's.

Have you ever considered the ability to be with not knowing as a positive? It's been hard for me to embrace the ability of negative capability because of my need to know. I like certainty. I detest uncertainty. But I'm finding as I move forward in the creative process (writing memoir and establishing an author website), that I must develop the skill to not know so I can sleep at night. Right now, I don't even know for certain which of my chapters will turn out to be Chapter #1! 

What are you glad you don't know? Is it difficult for you to be in uncertainty? Please let me know how you are doing these days before the holiday onslaught.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

CLUE: This week, try to actively notice new things. This will put you in the present. Do this because it's engaging, and it turns out it's literally, not just figuratively, enlivening.* 

*Ellen J. Langer in The Art of Noticing by Rob Walker. IMAGE: 

The Guardian is happy to be in the sun again.

Are You Auditioning for Stage 3? - #109

"I've reached the limits of my current skill." 

These heartfelt, somewhat desperate words are Ulrich's* words to describe Stage 3 of the creative process. 

They are also my words one bitterly cold November day when I snap the above image during a break from a frustrating morning working on a memoir of my intermittently aggravating experience in psychoanalysis.

My usually obedient printer, apparently auditioning for a vacancy in a real estate office, spit out a copy of Chapter 1 with font so minuscule it took a magnifying lens to read.

Struggling with no success to enlarge the print size I curse.  

Abandoning my audition for poster child of Ulrich's title for stage three, "Crisis and Creative Frustration," I ask for help.

After one and a half hours, problems solved. This stage apparently is a requisite part of the creative process. Do you remember this stage? Are you in this stage now? Or are you auditioning for a  role new to you? Misery loves company so be sure and send me a message. I'd love to know how you prepare yourself and how you make it through this stage!

CLUE*: We spend so much time looking down (think about it - what direction are you looking right now?). Today and tomorrow, look up. See the ceiling and the tops of buildings. See the sky. Stretch your neck! Let me know what you discover!

Image: This is the Guardian covered with snow - in November! A new record. 
*Zen Camera by David Ulrich
**Idea courtesy of Rob Walker's new book, The Art of Noticing.

Mouse Gone - On To Stage 2! - #108

Poor little mouse was just trying to get out of the cold. This new attitude is a big stretch for me. My little brother (he always calls me his big sister) just confessed that he made scratching noises to scare me (and my sisters).  I'll keep you posted on further developments (of which I hope there are none) but now more about the creative process.

Ulrich says that in stage two of experiential stages of the creative process you can expect to be energized. For me this stage started sixteen months ago when I began working with a book coach.
  
I remember this glorious stage with fondness. The more I wrote, the more I wanted to write. If someone asked me why I was writing again, I felt puzzled. What else would I do? I wanted to write because the more I wrote, the better I felt. It was difficult to imagine doing anything else.

Descriptive words for Stage 2:  Passion and Commitment. Do you remember having feelings like this about a project? Can you guess what comes next?

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

CLUE: Clean out your closet. Do a Kondo test - hold each piece and ask if it brings you joy. If it doesn't, give it to someone who may feel joy. Let me know how it goes. I just sent four + bags of non-joy-to-me items off to Good Will. I hope someone feels joy!

Image: A photo from my files from previous years. I love how one branch has multiple colors.

When Do You Feel Excitement and Heartache? - #107

I thought you'd be interested in the characteristics of Experiential Stages of the Creative Process, part 2, so this week I designed a post I was ready to polish for publication this morning but....................................

 ........... this very morning, I've emitted lusty loud emanations three times and I can't concentrate on the creative process stage 2.  My screams were passionate. The type of screams my parents said would raise (or was it wake?) the dead.

And these early morning screams were for the very same reason I used to scream. I SAW A MOUSE! The same mouse three times! The first time I thought it was a big bug darting by. The second time, a really big bug. The third time, there was no question what it was.

After being in psychoanalysis for over a decade, you would think I would have uncovered the root cause of my terror of mice. But it is obvious this morning that I have not. This may need to be a new chapter in my memoir! I am embarrassed that I have such fear of these tiny little creatures. But I do!

As they say, misery loves company so I ask you - are you afraid of something that you know realistically is not a threat? How do you manage it? Do you feel lingering shivers when you think of what ever it is?

I'm signed up for a Zen half day retreat this weekend: Do dogs have Buddha nature? Now I'm wondering, do mice have Buddha nature? Any insights on this koan welcome!

Next week - the real post for the question in the title!

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall


CLUE: If you like raspberries, pick some up at the store. The have been really good! If you don't, buy blueberries. They are good too!

Image: Taken first morning there was a dusting of snow. Have you noticed how dark it is at 7 AM? Will this change next week? I can never figure out when the time changes where we get extra light! Can you?

Fear, Doubt, & Insecurity - #106

 Zen Camera, created by David Ulrich, is a beautiful book that has languished on my book shelf far too long.  Opening it at random, I find a list of Experiential Stages of the Creative Process. 

Stage one: Discovery and Encounter. Wassily Kandinsky* says an important motivation for creative work is:  "Inner necessity."

Ulrich says something similar in different words: "In this stage you encounter the need to just do it, just begin in spite of fear, doubt, and insecurity."

It's difficult to explain, even to myself, the inner necessity I feel to create a memoir describing my experience in Freudian psychoanalysis. I have fear of feeling exposed, doubt I can write, and insecurity wondering how people will judge me when they read it.

But I have to do it. It is an inner necessity. Have you ever encountered a creative project you felt destined to complete? How did you cope with fear, doubt and insecurity? Let me know if you have any tips!

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

CLUE: Make a big pot of soup. Eat some and freeze the rest.  When the snow arrives and you don't feel like cooking, thaw it out and send me an email of thanks.  

*Kandinsky is a Russian painter mentioned by Ulrich.

Image is of Guardian. I wish I knew how to capture the brilliant yellow leaves in all their glory.

Do You Care About Singular They? -#105

"In the building of artificial structures, the engineer has a prime concern: the character of the materials available for their use."

You will probably deduce upon hearing that this sentence is from Mabel Todd (The Thinking Body author we met in August's posts) we will be talking about the importance of knowing what is inside our body. But believe it or not, that is not our focus  today.

When you read her sentence, did it flow? I thought so. But if we carefully look at the sentence and see the singular word engineer is paired with the plural word their, isn't that is an error? Aren't nouns and verbs supposed to match?

The singular "they" or "their" or "them" is the result of language changes. In order to get away from "he" as meaning everyone, this change has happened. 

Can you tell that I'm reading books about writing?* I'd love if you see examples of this new phenomenon that you let me know! Mabel will preach posture; I will be grandma grammarian. 

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

IMAGE: This is a singular glove. Remember to make sure you have both of your gloves as where I live, it is getting time for them. In fact, I've already worn my pair once.

*Ensouling Language:On the Art of Nonfiction and the Writer's Life by Stephen Harrod Buhner is an amazing book that I've read slowly over several years.

Absolutely ROAR-some! - #104

This precious personalized birthday card from Wendell set the tone for my birthday.  On the three additional panels that you can't see are  alligators and monkeys and bright colors and these words: "Hope it's a s-s-s-s-super wild time! Hang out! Eat Treats! Have fun! Make your big day ABSOLUTELY ROAR-some!" After reading this, I feel young and ready to celebrate.

It is pouring down rain and really dark. I muse that I can't remember it ever raining on my birthday before. Wonder if that's true? 

Meditation seems longer than usual when the tantalizing smells of sausage and eggs begin to tickle my olfactory receptors.   

Through out the day it is lovely to talk to or text with my three sons, a daughter-in-law, my sister, my granddaughter, my sister-in-law, and my aunt. Isn't it interesting all the ways we are connected to people?  As I arrange the snail-mail cards that had arrived earlier in the week on the mantle, I marvel at the kindness of others.

I feel so glad to be alive. I can't help but remember that my mother died at the age of 75. That seems terribly young now. I want to live  many more years. There are more mysteries to explore.

Ready to push the publish button on this post, my youngest sister's texts, sent late last night, pop in to remind me that our Mother died on my birthday twenty-two years ago. I'm amazed this year I didn't think about the strangeness of having mom die on the day she gave birth to me seventy-five years earlier. 

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

CLUE: Pretend it is your birthday - do at least one kind thing for yourself this weekend.

If You Are Not Ready - #103

I neglected to mention that I would not be posting for two Fridays  but I'm sure you figured it out when I didn't show up last Saturday morning. I'm back from a wonderful time at the best wedding and dance I have ever attended.

A few bits of wisdom I'm trying to take in from The Aware Athlete by Scott Forrester:

"Be ready to respond to each situation appropriately and you will survive, thrive, and prosper."

Reading this initially, I thought to myself, but what happens if I'm not ready?  Scott anticipated my question: 

"Respond in a less organized manner, and you will not recognize all the possibilities available to you."

I like this answer because we know it is impossible to respond to each situation we encounter appropriately (unless you know that no response can be appropriate). It is helpful to remember that disaster won't happen if you are not ready, you just might miss something.

I'm thinking about how to publish my memoir and I'm reading that for 98% of authors, self publishing makes sense. I'm still investigating my options. If you have any ideas, please let me know because I want my memoir describing my experience in Freudian psychoanalysis to survive, thrive, and prosper!

What situations are you facing?  

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

CLUE: Eat butternut squash! 

Image: A recent picture of the Gerbera Daisies I have enjoyed this year on my back deck.

Important Announcement - #102

Take a close look at the image above. 

Notice that my hands are not on the keyboard writing memoir.

The photo is a stylized me preparing for

for a road trip from Iowa to Utah,

to witness and cheer on my granddaughter at her wedding. 

Plus, it is my way of telling you

that I won't be here next week.

My apologies if you recently began reading.

If that is true, you may go to the website and 

scroll back to 2012 to read weekly posts.

Enjoy yourselves in my absence. Consider the adage that there can be presence in absence.

Dorothea Brande writes: "We customarily expend enough energy in carrying out any simple action to bring about a result three times greater than the one we have in view."*

Brande says this is true for most things we do. Is this true for you? I think I have spent more energy deciding what supplements to pack, what hair products to bring, and worrying about my bangs and if my hair cut makes me look like a poodle than necessary. 

I always love to hear from you!
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

*Becoming a Writer, Dorothea Brande, with a forward by John Garner. Originally published in 1934.

Image courtesy of Mason Hiatt. Can you guess the location?

Flexible Flexibility: Fumbling Allowed! #101

An idea of Scott Forrester's, I discovered in The Aware Athlete, purports intelligence can be measured by how rapidly one can adapt to new situations. See Post #96. Flexible adapting is smart.

Today we look at another of Scott's ideas: fitness can be measured by how ready we are to move up, down, left, right, forward, and/or backward. Moving around flexibly is fitness. 

Intelligence and fitness both require flexibility. I'm learning in psychoanalysis that LIFE requires flexibility. My memoir will describe my increasing flexibility to life - I hope!

Forrester gives an example of Flexibility that is not as obvious: "The great writer has freed herself  from a love of her words and is able to discard a chapter, even a whole book and rewrite, re-create according to a new vision, one closer to her true intent." 

When eliminating precious words from my manuscript, I copy and save them in a folder labeled, "May Use Sometime." That's as flexible as I can be right now. Oh, I guess I should give myself credit for realizing, with book coach's help, that what I thought was Chapter 3 is actually Chapter 1.

Where are you flexible? Where do you want to be more flexible and what is the first step towards that? I like thinking of being flexible in more than physical ways. Let me know what you think!

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

CLUE: If you think of back to school time as the start of your new year, decide what your intention will be for this year. Regardless of when your new year begins, take advantage of sales on school supplies! I know a reader that used to buy all the notebooks she needed for the year on sale! I wonder if she still does? 

Image: When I noticed the beautiful reflection on Guardian, I knew I wanted to capture it.

What's In Your Unconscious? - #100

Mabel Todd's writing in The Thinking Body does not let me down! My experience in Freudian Psychoanalysis, which is the reason I'm writing a memoir, has  piqued my interest in the unconscious.

Here's what Mabel writes:

"The unconscious is a treasure-house and charnel-house of the creative and one of the keys to physiology."

Part of writing is learning about the creative process while part of psychoanalysis is learning how to honor all parts of life. I think Mabel is alluding to this in the treasure-house-charnel-house reference. Plus Mabel sneakily includes the biological and chemical mechanisms of the body! How great is that! Freud struggled to include the body in his work but Mabel is fearless!

Having experienced the treasure of being with youngest son and his beloved for a few days while sitting around the table making each other laugh and now, feeling the wrenching of letting them drive off into the world, I appreciate Mabel's insights on how these both relate to the unconscious.  And now, to follow Mabel's lead,  I need to take myself off to exercise class.

How do you touch into the treasures and the bones? How do you include care for your body in your daily life? What do you do? Please let me know.

CLUE: Go out to breakfast! Order something crispy if you remember (I sometimes forget). This morning's order: the Rise N Shine which is two eggs, bacon, and hash browns - last two crispy! I'm glad I remembered this time!

Image: This may be how my unconscious face looks. Double sequin art made this rendition possible. (Thanks Mason)

Thinking of Certain Arrangements - #99

Since I'm spending all my spare moments revising memoir where I'm trying to describe my experience of Freudian psychoanalysis, (Spoiler Alert: it's not all wine and roses), my peeks into The Thinking Body* are short in duration. Luckily that's all it takes to find thought provoking sentences:

"Guilt, craft, vision, meanness, ecstasy and lure appear in certain arrangements of arms, hands, shoulders, neck, head, and legs."

What position are your arms in when you feel guilty? Where do you put your hands when you think of the future? What position are  your shoulders in when you feel mean? How does ecstasy appear in your neck? How do your legs express lure? What part of your body do you pay the most attention to? For me it is keeping shoulder blades down.

Notice how many feelings and judgement you make when you are  observing people and thinking about your self and your body. I resolve frequently to stop judging; perhaps if I describe what I'm observing as an arrangement of limbs, I will feel concern not criticism. Please let me know!

CLUE: Tell someone that you appreciate them. You both will feel better! Be specific. Tell me your experience please.

*The Thinking Body by my new favorite author Mabel Todd

Image: This photo is of the deck where we had our wedding. We converted it to an outdoor room. Fun to see it again! I love how green everything is now in Iowa as well as in the picture. And I also love being married.