Friday, January 25, 2019

Self Awareness Is Not Always Positive - #69

This week I've attempted to be aware of my discombobulated  psyche! My sometimes-helpful and sometimes-not-so-helpful habit has been to rise above weather conditions and act like I am not in any way affected. 

It's 8 degrees below zero: I get to wear my down pants! 

Our Pepper game got cancelled: I can be like a bear and hibernate!  

Suddenly I ask myself - am I becoming one of those annoying people who are happy all the time?

This week I decided that I am, in fact, bothered by the weather. When I wasn't admitting to being bothered, while I was in fact bothered, the uneasy bothersome feelings morphed into anxiety. I wasn't above it all. I was anxious and off kilter about the weather and its effects. 

When we had to cancel another social outing because of the weather, my friend Ann said: "The weather is just like a big hand pushing down on all of us."  Because of the work I've done this week, I was able to agree with her 100%. This is hard! I didn't try to tell her that whatever was happening was probably for the best.

Knowing myself and my tendency towards all or nothing thinking, I will have to watch that I don't totally switch my focus and only look at the negative effects of the weather. 

Do you give all of your feelings equal attention? Which feelings do you hide from yourself and from others? Do you recognize what your feelings are trying to tell you? I'm learning that if I stay with a feeling, it changes. Is that true for you? I'd love to hear how you manage the emotional part of your life. And if you would rather I not publish it for the world to see, just let me know and I will savor your offering in private.

CLUE: This week, especially if you are experiencing winter, find three feelings you like to experience and three feelings that make you uncomfortable.  They don't have to be about winter but they could be. Tell someone you know to make their own list and then share. Your feelings will thank you for getting them out.

Thank you for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

The image records the first time the Guardian was totally immersed in snow. I shared an almost similar image on Instagram so if you feel you've seen it before, you are right!

4 comments:

  1. Hi Nicky! I am soooo impressed with how self-aware you are! I think that anxiety probably often results from pushing down our real feelings for whatever reason we do it! This week, I found jealousy rear its ugly head. A young couple I know was buying a very big--very expensive--new home. I have no need or desire for a big home, so I wondered why the green monster. I realized that it was my own shame about money and my past handling of it (I lost quite a bit of money during the "great recession" because of poor investments and poor management) and other people's successes can sometimes feel like a personal slap in the face! These are not comfortable feelings, nor are they pretty, but acknowledging them have made me gentler and more forgiving towards myself.
    P.S. 8 degrees below 0??????? Ouch!!!!

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    1. Diane - good detective work on your feelings of jealousy. Your conclusion that shame about money makes sense lots of sense to me and took the type of introspection that you accuse me of to find.

      It is so true that being forgiving and gentle with ourselves makes such a difference! I am having to remember that as my cough and cold continue. It is what it is and I'm doing everything that I know to cure it so I have to wait and experience how much I don't like to be in control!

      Thanks for commenting and reading and for the kind words.

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  2. Nolan Hiatt
    Sat, Jan 26, 10:14 PM (12 hours ago)
    to exploring

    Been thinking about your question on handling emotions, and I think I use “this too shall pass” in uncomfortable situations. Saw that Des Moines was expecting -62 windchill temps. We were above average today with a high of 64. Still feels like winter to us.

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    Replies
    1. Hi Nolan - my favorite brother!
      I have been thinking about your response of this too shall pass. I guess I think that if a person takes time to figure out what the feeling is and what the message is and stays with it until it morphs into something else, at that point it is okay to say this too shall pass because most certainly it will pass. I'm not sure about any of this because I'm just getting acquainted with some of my less desirable emotions so take my words for what they are worth, not as gospel.

      One other respondent to the post thanked me for writing it and said it helped her get out of the making lemonade out of lemons mindset which has a tendency to keep her from glossing over unpleasant feelings. So there's that for us to think about too.

      So appreciate your comments and reading. You probably don't know how much your loyalty means to me!

      Delete

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