This week I've attempted to be aware of my discombobulated psyche! My sometimes-helpful and sometimes-not-so-helpful habit has been to rise above weather conditions and act like I am not in any way affected.
It's 8 degrees below zero: I get to wear my down pants!
Our Pepper game got cancelled: I can be like a bear and hibernate!
Suddenly I ask myself - am I becoming one of those annoying people who are happy all the time?
This week I decided that I am, in fact, bothered by the weather. When I wasn't admitting to being bothered, while I was in fact bothered, the uneasy bothersome feelings morphed into anxiety. I wasn't above it all. I was anxious and off kilter about the weather and its effects.
When we had to cancel another social outing because of the weather, my friend Ann said: "The weather is just like a big hand pushing down on all of us." Because of the work I've done this week, I was able to agree with her 100%. This is hard! I didn't try to tell her that whatever was happening was probably for the best.
Knowing myself and my tendency towards all or nothing thinking, I will have to watch that I don't totally switch my focus and only look at the negative effects of the weather.
Do you give all of your feelings equal attention? Which feelings do you hide from yourself and from others? Do you recognize what your feelings are trying to tell you? I'm learning that if I stay with a feeling, it changes. Is that true for you? I'd love to hear how you manage the emotional part of your life. And if you would rather I not publish it for the world to see, just let me know and I will savor your offering in private.
CLUE: This week, especially if you are experiencing winter, find three feelings you like to experience and three feelings that make you uncomfortable. They don't have to be about winter but they could be. Tell someone you know to make their own list and then share. Your feelings will thank you for getting them out.
Thank you for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
The image records the first time the Guardian was totally immersed in snow. I shared an almost similar image on Instagram so if you feel you've seen it before, you are right!
I believe if I moved away from IA because of my fear of winter I would be a wuss. Now I'm not saying this is true for everyone but I believe it is true for me.
I want to get over my fear of ice which is really what I fear about winter. Today I donned my late father's put-over-my-boots-ice-cleats and headed for the certain-to-be-icy analyst's parking lot.
It wasn't that icy.
But I believe I could have made it to the door if it had been. And according to Scott Forrester in The Aware Athlete, belief and practice are essential for overcoming fear.
Not just any old practice, but practice that is characterized as immersion, which translates, in my case, as going outside on the ice.
I'll plan to do this as soon as I stop coughing and blowing. Promise.
What do you want to practice?
CLUE: My definition of practice is being willing to do something that you don't know how to do (this can be either physical or mental or psychological) and being willing to look or feel foolish as you are practicing it. In my case, practicing on the ice will feel physically, mentally, and psychologically risky as well as inane. Think to yourself which of these areas are the most difficult for you to make change in. What is one small step you believe will help you? For example if you say physical change is most difficult, resolve to do a stretch that you avoid. If you choose mental change, see if you can do the crossword puzzle on Monday. If psychological risk is your choice and it's difficult for you to feel your feelings, pick one you usually avoid, write it down in a secret place, and then watch for it. I'd love to have company practicing so let me know what you decide. Either go to comment section or hit reply to this email.
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
The final stage of my seasonal cold is gifting me with exuberant sneezes and prolific nasal discharge. If only the booster in the women's restroom (that I discovered while visiting a New Zealand retreat center) was available! What is the meaning of a Buddha above a Booster? I choose to believe that this juxtaposition has healing properties and hope the virtual is as potent as the real. I am ready to feel better!
In the meantime to encourage our discussion of how we choose beliefs, our guest author, Scott Forrester, The Aware Athlete, was kind enough to send a few words that I think are fascinating, regardless of what our belief is about walking on water:
"A lack of belief may be actually the belief that life just happens to us. While that may be partly true I think active belief is more creative, more of a sharing with the process of life. So belief and creating the life we want are very active processes or choices, even moment by moment choices.
I am reminded to the story of Jesus walking on water and Peter getting out of the boat and coming toward him. Then a storm arose and Peter's attention was drawn away and toward the danger and the chaos around him and he began to sink.
So indeed belief as a moment by moment thing is the ability to still the mind, to get out of the way of what hinders that which is really possible, to stay on cusp of the wave. This is viewing each day as an opportunity for growth."
I've never thought of belief as a moment by moment thing - have you? I'm going to go ponder the ideas Scott offers.
CLUE: Can you do one thing today that feels like growth? I'm going to rest instead of pushing myself to keep writing today - that will be growth of my ability to take care of myself. Let me know what growth steps you take.
With assistance from Scott Forrester via Aware Athlete, we have established that imagination, like a muscle, needs training. Here's another idea of Scott's for us to ponder:
Belief is a choice.
When first encountering the word belief in Scott's book, I remembered my Christian upbringing. Taught to believe in God, Jesus, and the Holy Ghost even though we couldn't see them didn't feel like a choice.
Scott cites a research study by Carol Dweck who discovered, through her research, two distinct mindsets: fixed and growth. People in the fixed mindset believe they are stuck with what they have; people with a growth mindset believe nothing about us is static.
The image above shows part of my meditation altar. What you see are statues and photos related to Buddhism. My Buddhist teachers tell me that when we gaze upon images or bow to them, we are not being asked to believe anything. We are being asked to honor our own essence and basic goodness.
These Buddhist teachers go on to advise me not to believe what they say, but experiment with their words and teachings to see if they work.
In this way of thinking, belief is the framework on which hang all our thoughts, feelings, and actions. We choose what to think, feel, and do. This seems like a growth mindset.
I really resonate with the idea that we have a choice about what we believe. Scott writes that Henry Ford is credited with saying if you believe you can do something or if you believe you can't, you are correct.
I'm curious what you believe about your ability to choose your beliefs. Do you feel you have a choice?
CLUE: This being the first post of 2019, I would like to thank you for continuing to read and comment! Your support keeps me writing and at this stage of my life, that is what I believe I want to do so thanks for making it possible. Your job for this week is to find someone in your life to thank for making your life meaningful. Then let me know by going to comment section (I think it's working) or simply hit reply to this email and tell me who you thanked or what you believe about imagination.
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
