Rooted in Black & White - #145

It takes time to make an informed decision when you begin with the following knowledge: 

You will undoubtedly face more than two options. This tip is good for healthy decision making and for understanding poetry.

When you are steeped in black and white thinking, the hot water of uncertainty urges you to make quick decisions. This often makes for inappropriate decisions based on shallow thinking.

I don't remember when or why or how the above image made its way to my Picasa album. I think it has been in there simmering, waiting for me to become aware: 

Aware that my rushing may be related to my black and white thinking.

When I took another look at the image, it pleased me when I saw gray. Becoming comfortable with the ambiguity of gray is the way out of rigid thinking.

If you remove "undoubtedly" and "often" (words I added in the last edit) from the sentences above, you will see that these additions were necessary to make it possible for me to practice what I preach.

Do you do black or white, all or nothing thinking? Do you recognize it when you do? How do you guard against this fundamentalist tendency to judge right or wrong? Please share by replying to this email or clicking on the underlined exploring the mystery below.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

Magic Indeed!

Imagine my surprise when post #131 (originally published October 3, 2014) popped up in my inbox two days ago! My apologies for the extra email - I have no idea how this occurred. Never a boring moment around Blogspot!

"If something is boring after two minutes, try it for four. If still boring, then try it for eight, sixteen, thirty-two and so on. Eventually one discovers that it's not boring at all."*

Take a look at the picture above** and see what you can see in thirty-two seconds. Do you see the moon?



*John Cage, Four Statements on the Dance, 1944, Cited in my exciting new book Ways of Looking by Ossian Ward.

**Portion of mural, lower level of the World Food Prize Building, Des Moines, IA.

More Roots For You MidWeek

"These Days

whatever you have to say, leave

the roots on, let them
dangle

And the dirt

Just to make clear
where they come from"*    

What do you think would happen if the next time you spoke, you left the roots on? I'm thinking leaving the roots on could mean, for me, letting my feelings be expressed instead of burying them to keep everyone happy.

Email me with your thoughts about exploring roots; throw in some dirt if you desire.  Nicky Mendenhall

*Charles Olson

Source: Collected Poems of Charles Olson--Excluding Maximus Poems (edited/translated by George Butterick)

December 12, 2014, Inward/Outward, Daily Words.

Watch For Unconscious Roots - #143

"Admit something:

"Everyone you see, you say to them, 'Love me.'
Of course you do not do this out loud; otherwise,
someone would call the cops."*

The Sufi poet Hafiz wrote the above lines,  c. 1320 to 1389. His words assure us that the deeply rooted human desire for connection, a desire we often yearn for, is not a new phenomenon.

Perhaps a mystery we could explore is why it is difficult for us to get past surface emotions. Are the cell phone callers in the above image speaking their true feelings (getting to the root of the matter) or sticking with niceties to keep the other happy?

Watch how often you say or do something to prompt the other to affirm you. Sometimes I hear myself asking a question when what I really want is for someone to pay attention to me.

Often my requests for affirmation aren't coming from my rational mind - they are deeply buried. The primitive brain stores these deep needs for love and connection.  

This weekend, pay attention to how you, and most people you encounter, want  reassurance. Don't judge them or yourself, just notice. Respond to their query if you discern a response from you will help them. Try not to patronize. Be kind to yourself.

Be sure and hit reply to the email you received or go to the blog by clicking on the underlined words, exploring the mystery below.

If you know of someone who might want to join us in exploring mysteries, please forward this email to them. Tell them they can subscribe by putting in their email address.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall











*Section of Hafiz's poem, With That Moon Language, used in Spirituality and Practice month-long workshop, 2015. 




  

Day Late: Check Your Roots

And don’t think the garden loses its ecstasy in winter. 

It’s quiet, but the roots are down there riotous.*
~ Rumi

*First Published by First Sip, January 8, 2015.

Roots - #142

Bits of wisdom furrowed deeper into the psyche during my absence from exploring the mystery: 

I know more solidly that a well-lived life includes family and friends. Scanning my old calendar, then my new calendar (always an awkward transition for me) I noted that when an entry recorded a connection with family members - either in person or on the phone, either my husband's family or mine, new friends or long-term friends, I felt genuine feelings of satisfaction. Losing friends and family makes tending the roots of relationship feel more essential.

Being less judgmental of others and myself has been an intention for several years. Accepting everyone became more effortless this year when I remembered differences make life interesting. 

Why is it that a quirky character in a movie, in a television show, or in a good novel is easier to love than a live person across the table?  

Not certain why it took me so long to accept that a life well-lived will necessarily contain the disappointing moments as well as the joyful ones. This is how life is. No matter how good I am (or how advanced psychologically), I can't make everything perfect.

Tooth # 30 (right side molar) gave me practice handling pain and suffering without creating a disaster that could ruin the holidays for me and others around me. Oral surgeons are to be avoided, especially in December, but invited into intimacy as needed. The picture above resembles the extraction from my lower jaw.

A new root I want to nurture and develop in 2015: Poetry.  
Enrolling in a Spirituality and Practice month-long online poetry class with Roger Housden was a way to honor my intention to continue to make a place for poetry in my life. Studying a poem a day, with help from Roger and the other participants, allows me to find a deeper level of life.  

I want to share with you a few lines from Mary Oliver's poem, "Mindful" that have burrowed their way into my mind:

Every day
I see or hear
Something

that more or less
kills me 
with delight.

I am delighted that we can continue exploring the mystery together.

Do you have a sense of your roots? What kills you with delight? Please email me or go to the blog comment section.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall