A three hour plane ride sitting next to a man who confided he was en-route to his brother's funeral. Nouwen recalls even feeling some irritation; he felt he couldn't have a normal conversation with this man.
Years later, when flying home for his Mother's funeral, he remembers his former seat mate. He fears now he will be the one to embarrass and irritate the other passengers:
"I realized that sorrow is an unwelcome companion and that anyone who willingly enters into the pain of a stranger is truly a remarkable person."*
To make it through grief in healthy ways, we have to stay with the feelings. In other words, no u-turns. But as we keep going forward, we observe our feelings are constantly changing. My feelings of grief and loss change every day.
My subscribers and readers are truly remarkable persons. While I am not a stranger to most of you, by reading my posts and responding (either in person or by email), you entered my pain. Your responses were comfort during a difficult time. I truly appreciate your love and care.
Thanks for exploring the mystery of loss and grief with me -
Nicky Mendenhall
*In Memoriam (1980), Henri J.M. Nouwen.
I never thought about entering into a sorrowful person's life or if I had avoided them. I think about Delsa and how it was so difficult to be around her. For one thing, I never felt close to her, and for the other, she is very critical of everyone, so I was always worried about what to say. She had told me several times that she didn't like to hear certain comments(I can't remember them right now) that I would normally think were 'normal' sympathies. She told me I had no idea about loss! Even though she still has both her mother and father alive. But, she is right; no one knows how anyone truly feels………about anything! So, my wish to you is that you are healing, in whatever way is good for you. I did not know Jo, but I can imagine losing my best friend which would be devastating to me.
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