In Case of FIRE - Shadow Work - #67

FIRE in this case refers to your anger at me for the Midweek Post.    

Let your feelings of annoyance (or disgust or outrage) act as an impetus for beginning your own shadow work. 

What is shadow work you ask?

Here's the Twitter version: Shadow work is figuring out what is hidden in our shadow.  

I remember an experience in my own life that will get us started.

In small towns, a new kid in class is a big deal. In fifth grade, Cathy Montgomery moved to Melbourne. She disrupted my whole life. She was smarter than me. She was popular. She had a mind of her own. She was probably good looking though it didn't appear that way to me.  

My parents joked that after Cathy joined our class, all I could talk about was how she irritated me. I remember feeling that they were not very sympathetic.  

Toward the end of the school year, Cathy announced she was moving out of town. Joining with the others, I bemoaned this news but internally, I rejoiced. My nemesis was leaving!

I suggested that we plan a going away party. Wearing my bossy pants was easy as there was no interference from the guest of honor. We did it my way. I remember someone brought potato chips.

For my contribution, I sang Red River Valley, all four verses.  "From this valley they say you are leaving, we will miss your bright eyes and sweet smile." My voice faltered on the word miss while I thought - "good riddance!"

I remember experiencing satisfaction (I felt special performing but annoyed my performance wasn't perfect), at the same time I felt uncomfortable (this was confusing - why wasn't I happier?)

Unfortunately I never spoke to anyone about these internal feelings. My mean feelings stayed hidden and as a result, I missed learning how to manage my own competitiveness. I didn't learn the skill of letting go or how to grieve. I didn't know how bossy I was. I didn't realize my need to be special.  I hid all these feelings - in my shadow. 

I bet Cathy saw those things in me. 

I'm inviting you to join me in an exploration of the shadow.  Tell me your shadow stories.

And Cathy, if you should happen to read this: Let's talk.

Thanks for exploring the mysterious shadow - Nicky Mendenhall