Reading The Aware Athlete, I found out there are no answers -- --unless there are questions.
Scott writes that sometimes we don't have the answer because we don't ask. We ignore ourselves, our bodies, our pain.
He quotes C.S. Lewis: "Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to our consciences, but shouts in our pains." (If you avoid using the word God as I sometimes do, change it to Life Force or something else that makes sense to you. I'm not sure I understand the Lewis quote - do you?)
I've been ignoring a tooth that produces a sharp nerve-like pain when I chew on the left side of my mouth - SOME times - not every time. Hoping it will go away, I postpone calling the dentist. I'm thinking I may call my sister who used to work in a dental office and ask her what she thinks. Not ready yet to call the dentist's office.
What do you do when you have physical or mental pain? Do you do different things for one than you do for the other? Do you put off asking for help? Who do you ask for help? Do you like to go to the dentist? Please reply to this email or go to comment section, I think it works now. When you leave a comment, it is sent to me for approval so it won't show up immediately.
CLUE: Clean up one out door space, preferably one that you can see from a window. It doesn't have to be a big thing. I'm going to, after it rains this weekend, clean off the table on the back deck and put the blue striped rug in it's place by the door. These two actions will give me beauty to look at. Does order give you joy?
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
Image: One of the best gifts I have received is a subscription to the Flower-of-month club. March's selection is particularly lovely so I wanted to share. Thanks to Matt and Marcy!
I keep reading Scott Forrester's book, The Aware Athlete, and finding affirmation for what I'm learning in psychoanalysis. It's interesting how hearing different words and examples deepens my understanding.
Scott writes that sixteen years ago he faced his habit of relying on force, not flow. That attention to "letting it happen," changed his personality in addition to his running style.
My way of forcing things is to want decisions, no matter what they are, to be made quickly. I've started calling this my "settled and decided" technique. I'm trying to stop forcing things this way.
This morning I had a perfect example to share with you on how I do this but now that I am trying to write it down, I can't remember. My unconscious must be at work!
Would you please tell me if you have any examples of what Scott and I are describing when we say we use force, not flow? Is this a problem for you? How did you solve it? Can you give me an example?
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
CLUE: The next nice sunny day you encounter, take your body out for a walk. You have time. Soak up Vitamin D. Swing your arms and take some deep breaths. Don't force anything. Remember that your power comes from focused attention.
We learn to believe. We also learn not to believe. I'm going to revisit the concept of belief even though posts 66, 67, 68 covered belief. I'm trusting there is something I still need to learn by revisiting this subject.
Scott Forrester writes that a child does not yet know how not to believe in his/her innate ability to learn. This reminds me of the recent visit of our year old grandson James who exhibited no doubts when peeking into and emptying every cupboard and shelf that he could reach. He believed this was his duty!
Bion,* a psychoanalytic writer I read and try to understand, believes there is a spontaneous, unconscious gregarious quality in the personality of humans from the moment they leave the womb. He uses a chemistry term to describe this characteristic: valency. In chemistry, valency is about combining elements in a limited way.
If we believe in our spontaneous, unconscious gregarious qualities, we may be like James and follow our curiosity and learn about our mysterious and fascinating world. Imagine how great life will be when this happens!
You may notice that I am weaving information about psychoanalysis into blog posts.This is to whet your appetite for my memoir which will describe in detail (!) my experiences in treatment and fascinating tidbits of psychoanalytic theory. Don't send money yet.
CLUE: Try yet again to leave a comment on my blog! Read Kathi's experience and cheer on her persistence! She went to the blog itself. You can do that or hit reply to this email. Just say hi or tell me how you kindle your enthusiasm for life!
*W.R. Bion (1961) Experiences in Groups
Image: The Guardian was totally covered with snow for weeks and now is totally naked aside from her crystal necklace. I'm glad!
"The past is present in the moment is what is so great about embodiment and movement as a tool for reaching the unconscious."
The above sentence, from Scott Forrester the author of Aware Athlete, has been on my mind since I received it a few days ago.
The past is present in the moment!
I am amazed at how different that sounds from what I wrote: the past is in the present. It's difficult to explain how adding the word moment affected me but it did. The past is present in the moment! This very moment!
Take a moment and appreciate your breath, the fact that the life force is pulsing through you! And then read this excerpt from The Consulting Room and Beyond by Therese Ragen:
Rose said: "I've been trying to come to terms with the fact that I am going to die very soon. I never expected it to be such a joyous experience. I feel the most loving I've been in my life."
Rose is in the moment and what happens? Love!
What happens when you are in the moment? I would love to hear from you.
CLUE: Send a snail mail or an email to someone you want to appreciate. Let me know how it feels and what happens.
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
I just love Scott Forrester's book The Aware Athlete! I open it every week to find inspiration. Here's my most recent find:
"Awareness is the highest level of human functioning."
This sentence is a concise summary of what I've learned from psychoanalysis: You have to increase your level of awareness if you want to discern deeper levels of meaning.The belief that the past is in the present, an idea from Freud a prime mover of psychoanalytic thinking, is not immediately apparent.
Perhaps increasing our level of awareness is difficult because we forget the unconscious is alive. I can't say exactly how these other layers we are gifted with interfere with awareness but I've learned through experience that there is more going on than we consciously know. I'll be attempting to explain this in my memoir.
Not only is the unconscious active, it communicates with systems in the body. We don't know exactly how it does this but if you ask me, it does. I would add this happens mostly in ways of which we are not aware. We have to raise our level of awareness in order to get to the deeper levels to find meaning in life.
If you have questions about awareness, let me know. I probably won't be able to answer but I'll love knowing I am not alone with questions! Email or comment.
CLUE: You probably have layers in your freezer. This week, search around - if you live where I do it won't be much colder than stepping outside - and find the oldest container and throw it away. Feel happy! Relieved! You did something to clean up your life. If you think of it, let me know what you pitched!
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
Image: The Guardian is again in hibernation.
