I'll Meet You Out Back! - #32

Since last week's post, my mind has been obsessed with what is in back of me.  

Wendell (power behind the throne) says that when he is fly casting, knowing what is behind him is vital.  

This week at my analyst's office, while free associating on her  analytical couch, it didn't surprise me (given my obsession) that  exploring the mystery's topic of what is in back came out of my mouth . I said quite a lot about how this was interesting to me and why.  

I was astonished at the response: "I sit behind you and you have your back to me."

Her observation (I wondered immediately why this hadn't occurred to me) nudged me to ponder, this time in nonliteral ways, the importance of what is in back of me. That her observation had this effect on me is fascinating because her observation was literal: she sits behind me and I lie with my back to her. 

Consistent with the psychoanalytic approach, her words helped me go to another level of thinking. And I'm still thinking.

It seems we often do not know what is behind us. If I don't use a mirror to check the hair on the back of my head, I risk exposing my pink scalp through my thinning white hair. This speaks to a literal interpretation. Why having my pink scalp show feels shameful is a question that comes from thinking nonliterally. 

By investigating this question, what will discover about myself? Why does it feel so wrong to show my scalp?

Is there something weird behind you that you don't quite understand? Have you ever been astonished? I'd also like to hear more literal ideas about the importance of what is in back. Please tell us in the comment section anything you think pertinent to this discussion.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

PS - The image  above was from a trip to Amsterdam in 2016. You may not be able to see the rats painted on the man's leather jacket but I saw them and recoiled, after snapping the photo of course.

PPS - I appreciate your insightful responses that now reside in the comment section which is behind the post (really at the end of post but I couldn't resist). There are 12 from last week alone. See if you can figure out how to post in the comment section or simply hit reply to this email which will send your comment to me and I can paste it in. Let me know if you want me to use your full name, first name, or anonymous.

 

I've Got Your Back! - #31

Obsessed with locating Broken Screen: Expanding the Image, Breaking the Narrative, I resolved to pay $1.50 and see if Interlibrary Loan could find it for me.  A book review promised 26 conversations with artists, filmmakers, designers, and architects. I learn from artists. 

Doug Aitken writes in the preface he organized this 2006 book to capture the essential motivations behind the creative process. The conversations focus on ideas about nonlinearity and fragmentation. 

Skimming the book I learned that nonlinear stories are needed, according to Amos Vogel, "because the old-fashioned, straightforward, linear narratives - with their beginning, middle, and happy endings - have none of the real mysteries of existence that we all know to be true in our own lives."

It was, however, an interview with Robert Wilson that fascinated me the most. Here's Robert:

"It's always that space in back of you that's as important as -- or almost more important than -- the space in front of you."  

My mind keeps mulling over the idea that what is behind me is as important as what is in front of me.  I pondered it yesterday while lying face down on the massage table.

I've noticed more people saying, "I've got your back." I want to continue paying attention to what is in back of me.

Here are two questions for you. Pretend that I am interviewing you and write your answers in the comment section or reply to this email:

Do you want your entertainment to have a happy ending? 

What do you think of the idea that what is behind you is as important as what is in front of you?

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

The image was taken from our hotel, "Ink" in Amsterdam.

Your Future Self & An Owl- #30

Note: This is a demanding post. You will need to look carefully to see the owl in the image (upper right) and you will be asked to use your imagination (right hemisphere of the brain).  

I'm reading Tara Mohr: Playing Big: Practical Wisdom for Women Who Want to Speak Up, Create, and Lead.

The first chapter does a great job of describing the ever present inner critic. I appreciate Mohr's insight that messages from this part of ourselves are designed to protect us from emotional risk.  

In another chapter she offers an exercise designed to imagine our future selves. I felt hesitant to tackle this visualization after I read the instructions: add twenty years to your age. 

My inner critic rapidly spoke up to tell me that no one as old as I was should even consider this type of nonsense. This cheeky critic even spoke for Mohr saying she didn't have old people in mind when designing this exercise.  

I had to take charge. First, there was murmuring under my breath,"I know you are trying to keep me safe" and then a raised voice asking for silence, 

The visualization of my 92 year old self began. I pictured dancing in flowing purple silk, my body slim and flexible, surrounded by loved ones, trees, and books. I was having a good time. The exercise continued with me feeling non-judgemental, creative, and full of relief at finally knowing how to use Microsoft Word. Love was all around.

The critic was quiet.

Do you recognize your inner critic?

Can you imagine your future self in twenty years? Let me know how adding twenty years to your current age and then imagining yourself goes for you. It's reassuring for me to think that during this visualization I could be stronger than the critical voice. 

Can you recognize your inner critic? What message does your inner critic whisper in your head? Can you silence it? I'd love to hear from you!

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

It's 2 AM - #29

Yesterday I had a funny feeling I was forgetting something.

I just woke up and remembered what it was: 

I didn't design a blogpost!

Unable to drift back to sleep, I decided to crawl out of bed and open up my ASUS.

It wasn't that I didn't think about exploring the mystery yesterday. I have pledged to myself (and somehow it seems like to you since some of you have been such faithful readers for years) that I will spend one hour a day focused on creating something from three hundred+ blog posts 2012 to 2017.  

Yesterday was the second official day of this process. I had all kinds of ideas. It was very exciting.

That's why I forgot.

See you next week!

Thanks for exploring the mystery with me - Nicky Mendenhall