Do you enjoy having a project in process? Part of me likes the feeling of steady progress that occurs as I continue working towards termination. Another part of me wants the end result.
I'm thinking about conflicting feelings as I currently have a project.
Paul* figured out how to print my blog posts from 2012 to this year. I'm now going to read all 356 of them and make a note about each. I have finished reading posts from 2012 and am in the middle of reading posts from 2013.
At this juncture I'm uncertain why I'm doing this. I have a vague notion that I want to create something from this body of work. I love seeing the comments from all of you. I appreciate your loyalty for all these years. Thank you!
Brene Brown** quotes Carl Jung: "The paradox is one of our most valuable spiritual possessions...only the paradox comes anywhere near to comprehending the fullness of life."
Remember when we explored paradox? I wonder what year that was? I don't recall thinking of paradox as a spiritual possession. Do you?
While conflicting feelings about my project do not technically qualify as a paradox, I want to use them to feel the fullness of life and not become discouraged.
When you are working on a long project, how do you stay motivated? Any ideas for me of what to create with 300+ posts?
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
*Paul Schwegler, owner of Little Dog Tech, 515 422 1995.
*Brene Brown, Braving the Wilderness, (2017), p.155.
Fatigue was my constant companion from last Wednesday afternoon until Monday morning. After someone told me that fatigue is a symptom of this year's flu and that my body likely was trying to fight it off, I spent most of my time in bed. Since I didn't feel like doing anything anyway, I slept.
Now that I'm feeling better, it's not as easy to take it easy. I want to do laundry and straighten up messes. I feel as if my immune system needs plenty of rest. But when I put my feet up, my mind won't settle down.
The body is largely a mystery to explore isn't it?
I've been noticing that Susan Piver assures us breathing happens automatically during meditation instructions. That when we pause after an exhale, we don't have to worry because the body will start the breath again.
Think of it - the body has built a pause into our breathing pattern.
Stop for a moment and pay attention to the pause that happens.
Enjoy the pause and stay well!
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
I am enrolled in a three month experience where every week we are asked to assess our work and share what we celebrate. The first time this request came across my screen, I grimaced. I didn't want to do it. What good does it do to go over old stuff?
After several weeks making myself assess and celebrate, I now wonder why I initially resisted.
Here's some possibilities: I didn't want to slow down. Fear of disappointment. Anxiety about stopping what I'm working on. Maybe a bit of each?
Today, finishing a thoughtful assessment and celebration proved how important assessment can be. Because I started to think and to plan for my assessment yesterday, I had time to scroll through old conversations and found this gem:
Exploring the mystery of life as is, right here, right now.
This sentence, buried in a conversation from several days ago, would have been missed if not for my need to reassess. I think it describes this blog's purpose. I'm celebrating!
Do you take time to assess how you are doing on your goals? Say for instance, you want to be more in the moment. How do you assess your progress? Do you fear disappointment? And how do you celebrate progress? Please let me know!
Thanks for exploring the mystery of assessment and celebration!
Nicky Mendenhall
NOTE: Two people notified me they posted a comment, a comment that I did not receive. When you post on the blog, the post comes to me to be approved so you won't see it right away. If you check back after a few hours and it's not there, it is likely I didn't receive it because I love posting comments. Please email it to me as I celebrate every comment!
In last week's post I mentioned how cotton wool came over me before my surgery last year. None of you wrote describing your cotton wool moments. Perhaps my example was too extreme.
Here's a more usual Cotton Wool Monday Moment:
At my regular afternoon appointment with my analyst, I couldn't think of anything to say. Everything that came to mind, I deemed unworthy.
I wasn't aware of this at the time: I was wrapped in cotton wool. The thing is, there were questions and there were incidents to report. But similar to how Dani Shapiro described Virginia Woolf's cotton wool state, I was dazed and unfocused.
If you are looking for a foolproof solution to guarantee this will never happen to you - I don't have it.
The reason I share my D & U moments with you is that when you feel D & U, you won't feel alone. These feelings are part of being human.
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
