Wednesday, walking down a wide-windowed hallway after first Tai Chi class of the autumn session, my weary legs weren't cooperating. My mind remembered seeing Dottie Jackson demonstrating how to walk by using her hips and by moving her whole torso. My body loosened up a bit.
At that moment, so quick I almost missed it, was what I'll name an apparition of my mother. My mother was shuffling ahead of me!
Mom broke her ankle at age forty-four when she stepped into a hole in our front yard. Walking for Mom after that was a frightening activity. She didn't enjoy movement unless she was grasping Dad's hand or leaning on one of her five children.
Her mother, nicknamed "Little Gram" by fourteen of us grandchildren, drove a red Pinto while sitting on a catalog. As the oldest grandchild, I was undoubtedly the first to measure my height by standing back to back with her.
In my memory, Little Gram didn't move or drive fast either. Perhaps she modeled the shuffling, ambling gait for her oldest daughter.
The flash experience of my mother I experienced in my body after Tai Chi class, might be a cousin to what Cynthia Bourgeault labels the "science of the imagination".
I'm imagining that Cynthia would tell me that the energy I asked readers about last week is not something to be rationally measured or explained; energy is something to be felt or imagined.
This means flashes of imagination are not absurd or meaningless but rather that they are another way of knowing.
Have you ever felt the energy of your ancestors? Please let me know of your experience or if you haven't, what you think of these ideas.
Thank you for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
Fun post, Nicky! Sometimes I feel like I am channeling my maternal grandmother in the way I move. I also think she helps me to appreciate emptying the dishwasher - because she didn't have one.
ReplyDeleteIt's quite a feeling isn't it - to be so in touch with our departed relatives? And what a good way to make a task more enjoyable and keep the connection with her alive!
DeleteThanks so much for your comment - made me smile......
This brought many things to mind, not all directly related. The first thing I thought about was Kevin's reaction when seeing me at Dads funeral. He looked at me and saw his dad, saying he couldn't believe how much I looked like him. Since then I see him in the mirror sometimes. Pictures of a younger uncle Bud are eerily similar to me at that age.
ReplyDeleteI also catch myself walking like dad. It's especially noticeable when I see myself ambling on our home security video. When did I get this old?!
Also thought of the fall I took 9 months ago down the stairs and how cautious it has made me ever since. Sure made me remember how mom was so afraid of falling.
Many years ago I was driving, and all of a sudden I had such a sense of my mother (who had died years earlier) sitting in the front seat of my car and telling me I was doing "the right thing." I had been in a dilemma about a family member and which path to take with them. This sense was so strong that I slowed my car, and jerked my head towards the passenger seat expecting to see her there. It was so strong that I still remember it now, almost 30 years later.
ReplyDeleteConnie - this gave me goosebumps. What a powerful experience for you.
ReplyDeleteFrom our discussion, I'm learning the importance of paying attention.
Thanks so much for sharing with us. Wondered if you were still reading! I'm so glad you are!