Tension is who you think you should be.
Relaxation is who you are.*
~ Chinese Proverb  The first line of this Chinese proverb describes my usual behavior while guests are flying or driving to my home for a visit.
The second line speaks to my goal for the month of August:
Prepare for guests from ARK, CO, and OR with a sense of relaxed anticipation. The following words are for me, but you can keep reading if you wish: The house doesn't have to be spotless. The food doesn't have to be gourmet. Everything planned won't meet my (high)expectations. It's alright if I become tired at 9:00 PM. It's alright if I am tired at 9:00 AM. If I'm obnoxious about winning or losing at Pepper, everyone will eventually forgive me. Do you stress about having people in your home? Do you have a perfectionistic part that wants to take over and spoil all the fun? How does tension show up in your body? your mind? Please reply to this email or go to the comments section and let us know what you think. We can help each other! Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
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You know I have anxiety to have people here, and, certain people are worse than others. It's not only the 'worry' about the house being clean or the food tasting good, it's figuring out what to eat and what the guests want to do. Since I stay home a lot, it's a mixed bag of fun, going places, and yet not fun, having my routine disrupted! I'm trying to relax more about it all and mostly enjoy the guests when they are here. I say mostly, because it's just so different having more people around, and tiring. And I always want the guests to have a good time here! So, maybe that's part of the concern, too. One thing I always think about now, is a saying I heard, 3 days for a guest is enough, otherwise they start to smell, like fish. It's actually a good amount of time to have guests and to be a guest. One thing I learned from having people come to stay, is I am more conscious of my staying with others, and hope I am a 'low impact' guest!
ReplyDeleteYes, I agree that routine disruption is a mixed bag! Sometimes I love getting out of my rut and other times I don't want to!
DeleteAnd the concern about keeping everyone - especially company - happy is high on my list too.
Thanks for your support and reading - much appreciated. Very helpful actually.
Funny to me that I never think about someone being nervous about hosting me. Is that the same for most of us?
ReplyDeleteI remember Dad running around getting prepared for us kids. Getting everyone's favorite things. Never thought about it when Mom was alive.
Love the proverb and wonder if anyone can be themselves with others.
I can only say that never thinking about someone being nervous about hosting me if the same for me. I guess we are all busy thinking of ourselves from our own perspective - not from the other person's. Don't know if that makes sense or not!
DeleteThe Buddhists would believe that there is no Self!
Thanks so much for an interesting point of view - one I had not thought of!