Two Lines, Two Choices: A Chinese Proverb - #166

Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.*                                                  ~ Chinese Proverb The first line of this Chinese proverb describes my usual behavior while guests are flying or driving to my home for a visit.   The second line speaks to my goal for the month of August:  Prepare for guests from ARK, CO, and OR with a sense of relaxed anticipation.   The following words are for me, but you can keep reading if you wish: The house doesn't have to be spotless. The food doesn't have to be gourmet. Everything planned won't meet my (high)expectations. It's alright if I become tired at 9:00 PM. It's alright if I am tired at 9:00 AM. If I'm obnoxious about winning or losing at Pepper, everyone will eventually forgive me. Do you stress about having people in your home? Do you have a perfectionistic part that wants to take over and spoil all the fun? How does tension show up in your body? your mind? Please reply to this email or go to the comments section and let us know what you think. We can help each other! Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall *Proverb from First Sip: Posted: 24 Jul 2015 03:00 AM PDT Image: A Chinese lantern  that caught my eye while on a tour boat in Hong Kong Harbor, March, 2013.

Midweek Mentor From Past

"How falsely a listener may construe what we say if he takes only our words. Our words are often halting and are plainly not what we mean. In back of what we mean on the conscious level, there is almost always a deeper unconscious meaning that is at work. But these unconscious meanings are only dimly felt by the speaker and they do not formulate well in words….

Someone once suggested to me that in every conversation between two people there are always at least six persons present. What each person said are two; what each person meant to say are two more; and what each person understood the other to say are two more." Douglas Steere*

I don't remember what year I met Douglas Steere but I will never forget how impressed I was. He was so present. He was different. He wasn't chatty. He seemed very singular and at peace.

Our meeting was before I was very conscious of consciousness. 

In my imagination, he is my mentor. 

Seeing his name felt like a gift. Do you have a mentor that is primarily in your imagination? Is there someone you met for a brief period who made an impression on you? Do you appreciate the gifts people give you?

Reply to this email or go to the blog comment section.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

 

* inwardoutwardeditor@gmail.com.,July 16, 2015 featuring Douglas Steere.

We Don't Cry Because We're Sad.....#165

"The moment we cry in a film is not when things are sad but when they turn out to be more beautiful than we expected them to be."*

When I blink back a single tear or when multiple tears overflow and anoint my face, something beautiful has happened and I am surprised.

Many times my tears materialize when leaving a loved one. I remember the first time I ripped myself away from Jonah, my CA grandson. He was two years old. My heart ached as his cute little fingers waved to me. I loved the beautiful relationship we had developed and knew we would soon be separated by many miles.

In Iowa, when I walk on fertile Marshall County dirt, former site of the family farm, tears come & my heart aches for all the beautiful and sad things that happened when we lived on this land. "1526" (see image above) is all that remains of two farmhouses and two sets of farm buildings.

The Welsh word hiraeth** means "distance pain." Sally Mann hopes the evocative word will be preserved. She defines hiraeth as a yearning for the lost places of the past; the pain of loving a place.

She feels a near-umbilical attachment to the South - especially VA. I feel a near-umbilical attachment to Central Iowa. 

And strange as it may seem, I feel a similar pain about India. When Iowa air is humid and has a tropical scent, my mind flies to India. Remembering the sparkling eyes of the people and the vibrant colors. The temples. The cows. Strangely, I felt so at home there. I feel distance pain.

Do you have an umbilical attachment to a place or a person? Please reply to this email or comment on the blog.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

*Alain de Botton quote. One of those times when I jotted words down, was too lazy to include the source, and could never locate again. If you run across it, let me know!

**Hold Still:A Memoir with Photographs (2015), Sally Mann. I love this book. Borrowed from the Urbandale Library and am having a hard time not ordering my own copy. The pictures are fascinating, her family out of the ordinary, and her writing full of insight.

Mid Week: Do You Have Enough Alone Time?

"How often it is difficult for most of us to give solitude any sort of priority in the kind of life that we live today. How we avoid it; how we are frightened of being alone; how easy it is never to let it happen; there is always something or someone to fill the void, even if it is no more than turning to the radio for company."*

I cherish my alone time. I need alone time. It is an important part of my life. Even so, there are so many activities that interest me that it is easy to become over scheduled. 

Let me know if this is true for you or if being alone is a struggle.How much alone time do you need? 
Reply to this email or go comment section on the blog.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall





Esther de Waal as quoted in Inward & Outward, June 25, 2015.

What Kind of Mystery Do You Believe In? - #165

My most recent experience of exploring the mystery occurred the day before yesterday. I was in the middle of a MELT session. 

If you are familiar with MELT foot and hand treatment, you know the MELT Method uses a set of rubber balls varying in size and firmness. The balls come with an instruction sheet that describes position-point pressing, shearing, gliding, and rinsing. 

Standing with a large squishy ball at the center of my right foot, I leaned on the bathroom sink. The sink cabinet was on cork floating flooring flush to bathtub (say that fast!); both were across from a small bookcase nestled up to a brand new Kohler toilet. 

What distracted me? It could have been the dryer buzzing or my mind remembering to take something out of the freezer for dinner.

But there was a distraction. The next time I glanced down, the squishy ball had disappeared!

I mean it was NO where to be seen. I got down on my hands and knees. This was a small space so there weren't that many places to look. I put my glasses on. I stood up and looked some more. It was not there. 

Harry Potter's world came to mind. In his world, things actually do disappear. Living with a scientist, I was pretty certain that magic of that sort doesn't happen. Does it?

This mystery was indeed tantalizing. It was a truly mysterious happening that made me pay attention and be in the moment. 

Preparing to leave the bathroom and ponder the mystery, I turned left around a short wall that was on the other side of the Kohler. It was a sharp turn. No where near the ball.  

Then my eyes lit on the ball! It was crouched against the baseboard, almost in the bedroom. There seemed no way this soft squishy ball could have ended up there.

There was disappointment - the ball hadn't really dematerialized.  

But on the other hand, there was comfort in knowing that gravity is something we can really count on!

Maybe we will explore magic in future posts as there are other kinds of magic beside making things dematerialize. The magic of a smile for instance.

I would love to hear what you think about magic.  Thanks for reading and letting me know. Reply to this email or click on the following words: www.nickymendenhall.blogspot.com

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

The image was received when studying wabi sabi. Somehow it seemed to fit with this post. What do you think?