My desires for a morning Fourth of July walk were two fold: a leisurely nature walk while paying attention to diaphragmatic breathing and Tai Chi practice enhanced by sounds of water falling on river rocks.
While congratulating myself for starting early to avoid the holiday crowd, a bicyclist passed me with the conventional, "on your left," followed by, "there will be runners behind you."
Almost immediately there were runners spread three or four abreast on the trail behind me. Spotting a spotter at a nearby crossroad, I stopped for refuge and to get information. Learning that over three hundred people had signed up for this yearly race, that a victory celebration would be held at the library by the fountain, that runners would continue arriving at this location for another half hour, it was clear my initial desires were not going to be realized.
The energy and intensity of the runners was palatable. As far as I could see, runners were occupying the width of the paved surface. My initial perception: No place for me.
Older people, especially women, observe that the more mature they grow, the less attention they garner from the general public. Having white hair, being relatively short, and having a slim build, the feeling of being invisible occurs more regularly every year.
From a place deep inside me, the word fierce made an unexpected appearance. Deciding to pay attention to this gift felt powerful.
Going against the crowd, walking with my arms several inches from the sides of my body to make myself bigger, breathing deep and slow into my belly, taking large monster steps, I began my journey home. Fierceness radiated from every pore of my body. Runners made room for me. This was Yang* attention - an attention that allows one to follow a path.
As always - thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
*Bob Klein graciously gave permission to use material from his books and personal communication. In future issues I will be sharing from his reply to my inquiry requesting a paragraph explaining attention. His generous two-page reply was where I learned about Yang attention.
To learn more about Bob, visit his website: www.movementsofmagic.com or his blog: www.movementsofmagic.com/blog
If you would like to read posts from previous issues or this post on the blog go to: www.NickyMendenhall.blogspot.com
