Don't Look Away! - #134

This afternoon, for about forty-five minutes, I inhabited the Des Moines Art Center, Pei Gallery.

While propped up against the back wall, I thought: "I am slowing down." 

Later, sitting in the guard's chair (he offered), I murmured to myself: "I am slowing down."  

Then when Mickey Koch asked me to wait ten minutes while she printed off permission form and emailed me image you see above, I said outloud,* "I am slowing down."

In the Weekend Confidential section of the WSJ, October 25-26, 2014, there was an article about Marina Abramovic (WSJ spelling). Fascinated by her work,The Flock II, as a docent I chose her work to study and then make a presentation to fellow docents. Terrified beyond belief to speak to such a distinguished group, I don't remember anything I said.

When I read the article, I felt like I was reading about my cousin. In fact, she is nearly my age! And in addition, she spoke about slowing down!

Next blog post, I will explain the phrase don't look away, tell you about her shocking performance art and more about the work you see above but for now - I want to slow down and go out for dinner. I'm feeling mellow.

Can you give me an example of a time this past week when you slowed down? What was it like?

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

Magdalena Abakenowicz (DM Art Center spelling)

The Flock II, 1990

Burlap and resin; dimensions variable

Permission given by Des Moines Art Center Permanent Collections: Purchased with funds from the Edmundson Art Foundation, Inc.m 1992.36.a-ii

Photo Credit - Rich Sanders, Des Moines

*You may remember when my email newsletter title was Living Out Loud. 

Mid Week Question: You A Robot?

As I attempt to publish comments in the comment section of exploring the mystery, Google keeps asking me to prove that I am not a robot. How irritating is that?  

I'll answer my own question: Pretty darn irritating. 

Last week I asked you for help deciphering Rilke's last line (Post #133). Later it occurred to me that in asking that question, I had behaved like a robot.  

How was I acting like a robot?

I didn't make time to contact my inner self (robots don't have inner selves). Instead I mechanically followed my old pattern of not slowing down.   

As a consequence, I was rude to my inner self.

Much to my surprise, I felt angry when your answers to the question arrived in my inbox. 

Why were there feelings of anger? 

I am always thrilled and affirmed to hear from readers. I feel we are beginning to develop an interactive community here at exploring the mystery. You all amaze me with your wisdom and courage. I love feedback. What was going on?

To discern what the anger was related to required me to slow down. When I felt into the anger, it was clear that my inner self  felt cheated - it wasn't given an opportunity to wrestle with Rilke.  

And what was really hard to stomach? I had nobody to blame but myself. It was me who didn't slow down and give myself time with the last line.

Once again I learn the importance of slowing down.  

Is there anything you rush past that results in your inner self feeling neglected? I'd love to know and I won't be mad! This post helped me understand one of the ways I abandon myself. Sharing with you helped me and I hope if you share with me it will not only help me but help you!

Reply to this email or go to the blog by clicking here.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

Counter Cultural Slowness: Endorsed by Rilke - # 133

On this peaceful foggy Friday morning, leaves model the beauty of slowness as they float through the air.  Drawn by a mystical force, conventionally known as gravity, their landing is cushioned this year by bright green grass.

I am reminded of Mason's comment on my birthday card: "The trees are changing color here and dropping their leaves, but mostly due to convention, as its still quite warm."

Slowing down is against convention in our culture. Slowing down is seen as necessary and conventional in most spiritual practices. 

Rilke can be unconventional. See what you think - that is if you slow down enough to read his words below. I'm predicting the quote may scare you off (it would have me in the past) because it looks suspiciously like a poem.  

Let Life Happen to You

"What should I say about your tendency to doubt your struggle or to harmonize your inner and outer life?

My wish is ever strong that you find enough patience within you and enough simplicity to have faith.

May you gain more and more trust in what is challenging, and confidence in the solitude you bear.

Let life happen to you.

Believe me: life is in the right in any case."

I'm not certain I understand Rilke - especially the last line. If you have ideas about what it means, please email me or comment in comment section. One thought is when I'm rushing, I don't have patience as Rilke wishes for us.

Are you slowing down yet?

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

Furnborg, Jonsered, Sweden, November 4, 1904, Letters to a Young Poet. Discovered in A Year With Rilke 2009).

midweek slowing of heart

What Nicky would have said in the past: A poem, especially if sandwiched in a paragraph, doesn't warrant my attention.  

What Nicky would say now: Poems touch and connect with more than my mind. They deserve my attention.

The poem below has much to offer us. Pay attention to the images and sounds that it evokes in you. Slowing down to read it reminds me of how I had to slow down in order to recognize grief (in post #132). I am beginning to appreciate the benefits of slowing down and the gifts one can find in poetry.

Quiet of the Heart, you are

Calm as a falling feather,

Serene as dusk's fading light,

Tranquil as the opening rose,

Restful as a cooing dove,

Gentle as the softening rain,

Hushed as a sleeping babe,

Peaceful as a blade of grass.

When I cease my foolish pace

I enter your undisturbed stillness.*

Do you tend to get caught up in the fast pace of life or do you slow down to savor? Let me know how you benefit from slowing down in the comments section or reply to this email.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall


*Reading for September 27 in Fragments of Your Ancient Name. 2011, Joyce Rupp.

Tripped Up By Sneaky Loss Component - #132

Vacations are chock full of transitions. The most difficult one for me?  The first few days when I return home.

It's not because I don't want to go home. I love my contemplative, quiet, peaceful, rich life.

Here's what makes the coming home transition difficult for me: An internal driven-ness that pushes me to get everything back to normal ASAP and (I am beginning to discover) unrecognized grief.

The driven-ness forces me to sort the mail, pay the bills, unpack and de-sand the suitcases, launder the clothes, and then put them away.  

I am beginning to speculate that all the pressure I put on myself to accomplish tasks when arriving home is not entirely my perfectionism at work. The tears that well up in my eyes when I wonder what else is driving me, feel like tears of grief.

To remember the connection shared with adult children and the bonding that took place with precious grandchildren while at the same time remembering how long it will be until we see each other again is a difficult emotional place. Who wouldn't rather work themselves to exhaustion?

Let me know how you handle transitions. Is there a component of grief for you?

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

magic - #131

Magic

Watch with glittering eyes

the whole world around you

because the greatest secrets 

are always hidden in the

most unlikely places. 

Those who don't believe

in magic will never find it.

First Sip Sep 26 Ronald Dahl

Thank you for exploring the mystery - I'm on vacation so posts may be few and far between for a week or so. Let me know what your glisttering eyes see!  Nicky Mendenhall