“The moment that you feel that, just possibly, you’re walking down the street naked, exposing too much of your heart and your mind and what exists on the inside, showing too much of yourself. That’s the moment you may be starting to get it right.”*
My promise: I will continue trying to get it right.
Next Post: Friday, June 13, 2014.
*Neil Gaiman, University of the Arts Commencement Speech,
Posted in En theos
Often what makes something amusing is the element of surprise.
I was surprised to see litter (see picture above) on my pristine nature trail. I was even more surprised at the ironic nature of the words.
The following joke-story, discovered in an article on the role of humor in Buddhism and Psychoanalysis, also took me by surprise:
"Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson wake up in the middle of the night and Holmes says,
"Watson, what do the stars make you think of?"
"Well Holmes, I suppose I think of infinity, of the mysterious beauty of the universe, and of how much there is to discover. What do they make you think of?"
"Well Watson, they make me think that someone has stolen our tent."*
What does it take to make you laugh? What surprises you? Do you like mysteries?
Let us know in the comment section or hit reply to this email.
Have a Memorial Day weekend filled with mystery and amusement!
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
*Quoted in an article entitled, "A sense of Humor, Enlightenment, and Individuation," by Deon Van Zyl, a clinical psychologist in Johannesburg, South Africa.
Several weeks ago I noticed these trees huddled around each other; perhaps I was seduced by the nest-like quality of the space in the middle.
These are not the ash trees in my back yard, however, the feelings I have when near my ash trees is similar to what I felt when receiving this picture.
This week I am experiencing immense feelings of gratitude. I appreciate the ash trees in my back yard even more than I did before.
Do you think the fear of losing people, plant life, or material things makes them more precious?
Email me or share in the comments section what brings feelings of gratitude to the forefront for you.
Thanks for exploring the mystery with me - Nicky Mendenhall
Here's my nasty little secret: When I was informed that two ash trees in my backyard would be cut down, I wasn't nice. My words were harsh; my body language rigid.
The reason given for cutting down ash trees was the ash borer. As I was pursuing the borer, I discovered the borer wasn't the only factor.
Some people really wanted grass and thought trees were partially to blame for the grass not getting enough sunlight.
If it means trees will be cut down, I said, I don't want grass. I said I don't want the chemicals that are used on grass in my backyard. Smelling lawn chemicals can trigger headaches. How can these types of chemicals be good for the environment?
I said I am the canary in the minefield. They said chemicals aren't harmful.
I continued to rant and rave. I said, let's put in wildflowers. They said that doesn't match. I said, let's make a native prairie. They said that won't work. I said, lets make a pond! They said there is already a pond on the property.
I felt uncooperative and wasn't even certain I was being heard.
As I continued to express my concerns, I reluctantly began grieving the loss of the trees. The mourning included picturing the promised new trees (they looked too short). I pictured empty space (it felt too empty). My mind just couldn't bring itself to picture and welcome grass.
When we left town, our phone call to the association manager was still unanswered. Trying not to grasp dismay or feed fear, I sat with the unresolved issue for several days. This was difficult for me - my pattern is to want things settled and decided. Often this desire causes problems that wouldn't be problems if I was only patient.
We returned home, the phone rang.
The word was that the trees don't have to be removed.
My expressions of dismay and outrage were heard.
Next time I want to be less harsh and rigid while staying true to what I think and need.
Is it sometimes difficult for you to speak of what you want or need? Where would it be healthy for you to go against what others expect of you? Are you like me and either nice or nasty? Let me know how it is for you when you disappoint someone.
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
Picture taken on nature walk, Rogers, Arkansas. I was taught by my Mother that conflict was wrong. These roots represent how I cling to being nice.
This portrait (my first attempt at a Selfie) tells me I am no longer as "afflicted with the worst female curse on earth, the need to mold myself to expectations"* as I used to be.
Everyone expected me to be compliant and go along with the plan to cut down two ash trees.**
Creating this portrait showed me (I didn't plan to share), that expressing feelings, speaking up, and being willing to be in conflict with others is not the prelude to a total disaster.
Watch for Post 113 to learn more about emotional expression and the fate of the trees.
Are you afflicted? Is it easy for you to speak out? Which expectations are the most difficult for you to disappoint?
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
*Quote from The Invention of Wings by Sue Monk Kidd (2014), Page 144. The book is a page turner!
*For twenty-two ways trees benefit us: Home › Learn › Benefits of Trees › Top 22 Benefits of Trees
Our normally responsive town home property manager did not respond to calls before we departed for the weekend; I have no news about the fate of my ash trees.
In Arkansas, where we are visiting my Aunt and Uncle, there are millions of trees. Everywhere I look there are trees. This is soothing.
Driving here I saw cows in the fields and commented on how peaceful they looked. Perhaps they were ruminating on mysteries.
My wish for all of you is that you find soothing sights and enjoy mysteries.
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
This week I was walking the nature trail along North Walnut Creek when I received this picture. I was impressed with how tenaciously the roots were grasping the creek bank; I sensed the strong life force of the tree.
There are two large ash trees in my backyard. One of the trees is outside the window where I meditate.The other ash tree is outside my screened cedar room where I often go to read or write. These trees have kept me company and comforted me since I moved here over five years ago. I love their presence.
At 3:00 P.M. today I learned the town home association, in charge of the grounds, has been informed that the emerald ash borer is coming to Iowa. A tree specialist is recommending as a preventative measure: cut down trees.
I am sick at heart. What would you do?
I am trying to remember that everything is impermanent. Perhaps the mystery to explore is how to recognize when to let go. But does it make sense to cut down trees to protect trees? Have you ever faced such a decision? Do you have any suggestions?
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
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In Posts #107 to Post #110 (plus four midweek bonus posts), we explored the mystery of disappointment.
I would classify posts on disappointment as serious. I readily admit to taking things seriously; hopefully you haven't felt a "heaviness of spirit" in my inquiry or in yourself as you contemplated the role of disappointment in your life.**
We discern what needs to be taken seriously when we pay attention. Paying attention to disappointment yields benefits because it helps us understand more of what we experience.
Jeffrey B. Rubin*** believes that one of Freud's towering insights was that people grow ill---and suffer from---experiences they don't understand.
Paying attention to feelings of disappointment enables us to spend time with our experiences. The "understood experience" leads to an appropriate response (anger, grief, regret) - and to knowledge that will guide us in the future.
Have you been paying attention to disappointment the last few weeks? I have. Paying attention has helped me recognize disappointment isn't a disaster and doesn't mean I did something wrong.
Let me know what you've learned about disappointment. What is your most common disappointment and how you manage it?
Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall
*Picture taken in Bali last April while barreling through the streets in a tour bus. I was disappointed I couldn't have time with the massive masterpiece and grateful the out-the-window picture captured the strength and majesty evident driving by.
**Ideas integrated while reading May 3 poem in A Year With Rilke (2009). I would be happy to send you a copy of Rilke's poem if you request by email.
***Rubin's article found in Spring: A Journal of Archetype and Culture (2013).
