What a Phenomenon! - Post 80

 I'm not empty but a desire to temporarily roll away from the computer is making itself known, therefore,
there will be no exploring the mystery posts for  three or maybe even four weeks!  

(It is difficult to determine in advance the duration of a restorative roll.) 

If you haven't already, this would be the perfect time for you to click on the subscribe link (found above my picture on the blog), and follow the two-step sign-up process.   The benefit for your effort? An email containing the latest post will be delivered directly to your inbox. This means you  will know when the rolling has ceased.    

See you in a few weeks!  Thanks for exploring the mystery! 

Nicky Mendenhall

Midweek Bonus Post

There seems no end to my fascination with the Shadow.

To help me understand and remember what resides in the Shadow, I made-up a word:
"Emotional-drivers"

The Shadow contains emotional-drivers: emotional-drivers reside in our primitive brain. They drive us to take action. The behaviors encouraged by emotional drivers, since initially not mediated by our thinking brain, can get us in trouble.

Let me warn you - emotional-drivers feel authentic (they use words like always and never), so it is very difficult not believe the story they tell us.

We habitually try to ignore or deny our emotional-drivers. If only we would pay attention when they are in action, we would notice that our heart rate increases and our blood pressure rises.  

If we bring emotional-drivers into our awareness by using our body signals, we are less likely to be bullied by them. We can stop and make a reasoned choice.

Feel free to use this word whenever you want to understand your own behavior and how it relates to the Shadow. Let me know if this helps or makes understanding the Shadow more confusing. 
(Caution: the acronym for Emotional Driver may raise eyebrows if you use it indiscriminately.)

Thanks for exploring the mystery and the Shadow - 
Nicky Mendenhall

Poet/Performer Describes Shadow Work* - #79

Enthusiasm is one of the most powerful engines of success. When you do a thing, do it with all your might. Put your whole soul into it. Stamp it with your own personality. Be active, be energetic, be enthusiastic and faithful, and you will accomplish your object. Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.

                                                                           Ralph Waldo Emerson

Recently it was my privilege to hear Tiffany D. Flowers speak about her life and work as a poet and performer. Tiffany blew me away with her courage, talent, and ability to listen to herself. She must have read Emerson!

She began reciting one of her poems and stopped suddenly: "I'm not "feeling it" she explained. A few minutes later she proceeded to wow us with her original passionate poem.

In an email, Tiffany commented that the subject of the Shadow was an amazing one and gave permission to quote her. See her website: www.TiffanyDFlowers.com for pictures of her and a sample of her writing. 

During this soulful presentation, I jotted down sentences to share with you:

"I didn't even know I was in a bad situation. I thought I could fix (whatever was wrong) and be perfect.

"I'm learning that I CAN feel sad and scared – that I can be upset when a man puts a gun to my Mom’s head.

"I have disguised my struggles by acting strong. I took refuge in imagining things were different than they were.

"I'm working to have the courage to remember the truth.
I am still programmed to be the way I was but I'm learning that my main job is to maintain my happiness.

"Now I ask myself when I meet people: Is my purpose to get acceptance or is it to connect with the other?”

Do you see how Tiffany is doing Shadow Work? Tell us on the comment section.

*You didn't see the word Shadow in this post - only "shadows" of the Shadow. Were you able to apply what we've learned the last few months?

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

Enjoy A Midweek Beauty Bonus

Compass Plants

Is Your Shadow Roundup Resistant? - #78

Two weeks ago during a visit to a friend's farm in Central Iowa, I received* this picture. At the time it wasn't clear why multiple shots of this scene were necessary. It still isn't; maybe we can figure it out together.

As the images accumulated on my Canon,  I heard my friend describe the weeds we were viewing in two words:  "Roundup Resistant."

Weeds are problematic. Weeds inflict pain with their sharp thorns and weeds can cause suffering with poisonous sap. Weeds crowd in where they are not wanted. Weeds pop up unexpectedly and mar aesthetic beauty. Other than dandelions,  we mostly don't take time to identify their names. We just don't care for them.   

Characters in our Shadow cause similar problems. When we observe their habitual patterns and embrace them as part of being human, they are less problematic.

Here's an example: A deep-seated pain sublet a chunk of my Shadow for decades.  At age six, I lost my place as the one and only child in my family. My jealous feelings acted as a barrier separating me from others until I could recognize and honor the loss.  

What comes to mind when you hear the phrase "Roundup Resistant"? 

I'm  thinking. Please share what you think.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall


*Thanks to Christine Valters Paintner for suggesting the practice of receiving images rather than taking or making images. See her book: Eyes of the Heart: Photography as a Christian Contemplative Practice (2013).

Saliva & Shadow - Midweek Bonus Post

"To discuss making friends with your shadow is one thing; to do it is quite something else. 

Imagine drawing your mouth together and gathering a pool of saliva. Now gently spit that pool of saliva into a drinking glass. Then do it again, and continue to do it until you have accumulated, say, half an inch of your saliva in the glass.

Now look at it, study it, contemplate it--and then drink it.

Most of us have the same type of reaction to our shadow--the very thought of this is repulsive. It is truly my own; it is a part of me. But drink my saliva! Make friends with my shadow! Yech! Get rid of it!"*

As we learn more about the Shadow, I hope you are becoming more open to making friends with it. The thesis of Miller's book is not to rid ourselves of the shadow but instead, accept it and take its existence into account; learn its qualities and intentions; realize that in its ambiguity and paradox it is to be "suffered" and used constructively.

Let us know in the comment section of exploring the mystery what you have learned about your shadow.

*Make Friends With Your Shadow: How to Accept and Use Positively the Negative Side of Your Personality (1981) William A. Miller.

I Have a Bossy Type A Shadow Part! Do You? - #77

Sticking our noses into our Shadow can be intimidating. 

It takes willpower to explore parts of ourselves we don't like to acknowledge. 

Though usually enlisted to keep us out of trouble, willpower can also be summoned to help us accomplish what is most important to us.

What matters most to me right now is enjoying the last month of summer.  

There is a bossy-overfunctioning-anxious-productive part in my shadow that doesn't see the value of adopting a different rhythm during long hot summer days and evenings. 

It seems odd that a person (me) would need to rely on willpower to carve out time for naps, novels and lazy days.

Do you need to use willpower to relax?

Please share with us how/if willpower helps you find relaxation.
Go to www.NickyMendenhall.blogspot.com  and use the comment section.