Shadow Bonding Benefit - #72

"Inside each of us is a second self, a living being we're deeply ashamed of."

So begins an exploration of Shadow as described in Stutz and Michels book, The Tools:

Close your eyes. Picture the characteristics of your being that you don't like - the parts you are ashamed of - your second self. Create an image that represents this second self.

Hold it in your mind, give it a face and body, and then in your imagination, push it out in front of you.  Feel a living presence. 

According to Stutz and Michels, the image/presence hovering in front of you will be your Shadow!  

Once this image is clear to you, ignore everything else and focus all of your attention on the image (which is your Shadow).

Develop an unbreakable bond with Shadow. (?)

United with the shadow, Stutz and Michels claim you will feel an inner authority.  

I've experimented with this method a couple of times. I must say it is unusual to embrace and bond with characteristics I have deemed to be inferior; to showcase and join with what I usually hide/hate required courage.  After my second try at this, much to my surprise, I experienced a feeling of wholeness and strength that lasted a nanosecond.

The authors think when bonded to the shadow, we speak a "language of the heart."  In my words, this means that the more we know all parts of ourselves, the more compassionate we can be.

The book is full of ancient spiritual wisdom presented in today's secular language.

Please let me know if you do the exercise or if you have questions.  


Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall











 

Midweek Post: Goal Is Not To Help You Feel Better

exploring the mystery's goal is not to help you feel better. This is a blog designed to help you feel more.  

When you yield to your feelings (whether these are feelings of joy or feelings of grief), you will begin to radiate authenticity, connect more deeply with others, and feel genuinely alive.

Does this make sense to you?

If yes, share your comments on: 
www.NickyMendenhall.blogspot.com. 

If no, share your reasons on:
www.NickyMendenhall.blogspot.com. 

If you have questions, ask them on:
www.NickyMendenhall.blogspot.com

Note: When I received this image last December in Colorado, I didn't know what a gift it would be this June. For information on a receiving images see Eyes of the Heart by Christine Valters Painter.

Signs, Signs, Everywhere signs - #71

Roaming around our interior landscapes, we met the Boys in the Basement. Getting acquainted with the Boys necessitated meeting the Girls. This led us to focusing on the Shadow which we are learning is the container for these inner entities.  

Now I'm skimming The Tools by Stutz and Michels, a book I learned about in the New York Times when a celebrity named it as a book currently on their nightstand.   I checked it out at the Urbandale Public Library, read the first chapter, then it disappeared on my stack of must reads. Notified it was due, I looked at it again, and decided to renew.

Reviews of the book are mixed: some say it is groundbreaking; others say it is vague and unoriginal.

Opposites have been showing up in my life with startling regularity. In the twenty-first century there appears to be no middle ground. People either hate or love; approve or disapprove; accept or reject.

Much to my surprise, Shadow is central to The Tools message.  
I need a bit more time to study this adaptation of Jung's ideas   before I cast my vote.

Even though I will feature the book below, it is not yet an endorsement.

Next week we will continue exploring the mystery!
                                                                  Nicky Mendenhall

Midweek Shadow PicturePoem from exploring the mystery

oceans and oceans

of potions and lotions

devotions to notions

and shadowed emotions

anonymous

Finding Your Shadow in the U-Haul Unit - #70

As I toted my favorite three books on the shadow up and down the stairs this week, moving them from my reading chair on ground level to my desk on the lower level, this question surfaced: "How are readers going to find their shadows?"

I haven't fully answered this question. I haven't finished reading the books. This is a work in progress;

I want to understand how to locate the contents of my shadow too.

To explore this question, let us explore the mystery and play with an analogy: 

 Let's say every month a bill from U-Haul Storage Units arrives in your mailbox. You don't know you have a storage unit.  Because you are really busy and the charge is not that much and you decide it is an error, the first month you treat it as junk mail and throw it in the recycle bin.  

The bill keeps coming each month and you pitch it into recycle bin. After several months, you open it. You notice that past due charges have been added to the monthly service fee plus interest.  

Frustrated, you call U-Haul. They inform you they have in their possession a signed contract with your name on it.  You Google their address, drive over there, get the key and with key in hand, go to the unit that is supposedly yours. 

The unit is full of stuff - some of it is quite nice stuff you have no memory of and other stuff from your past life that doesn't fit well with who you are now.

You sort through the contents, organizing the things you can use now, call friends for help, throw out what you no longer need. The question is partially solved but the mystery remains. 

You still don't know how the stuff accumulated  but you realize that by paying attention, you have cleaned it out. You have new stuff to use and don't have to worry any longer about the rotten old stuff.

Most of you  have astutely deduced that the storage unit represents the shadow and the contents are the unresolved feelings stored there.

Shadow work comes from the most unusual places. Stay tuned!

What helps you find your shadow? Is it packed too tightly away to access? Let us know your thoughts on the blog in the comments section or shoot me an email.

Thanks for exploring the mystery with me. Nicky Mendenhall
  

Midweek Bonus - Who Do You Trust?

"You know that the flower bends when the wind wants it to, and you must become like that -- that is, filled with deep trust."*

Do you have deep trust? In what?

I have deep trust that if I seek, I will find.**




*Poem for June 9 found in A Year With Rilke, translated and edited by Joanna Macy & Anita Barrows (2009).

**I may not find exactly what I was seeking but I trust what I find will enrich my life. For example, as I was seeking to upload a video of the above flowers blowing in the wind, I kept getting error messages. My life feels enriched creatively by asking you to move whatever device you are viewing this on back and forth to get the wind effect. Thank you!

Leave your comments by going to the blog address below.
Nicky Mendenhall

Show Me Your Mask - #69

Toddlers have angry feelings when they don't get what they want.  

Adults have angry feelings when they don't get what they want. 

When we witness the intense anger of a child, we tend to forget that  lurking in our primitive brain are equally intense feelings of anger. 

We lose touch with our intense anger; it is hidden by our persona (persona is the Greek word for mask). Good parents help children develop healthy personas.  
  
We present the persona to the world when we encounter primitive anger. This keeps us safe. The persona contains all the parts of our personalities that will gain approval from others.  

On the other hand, the shadow contains characteristics we hide from the world (and ourselves); it is opposite of the persona because the shadow is full of characteristics that would garner disapproval from others.

Our environment determines our persona which then determines what lands in our shadow. We need to guard against being critical of personas others exhibit because if we had been raised in the environment they were, we would likely exhibit similar characteristics.

Today while listening to a 50's XM station, I heard Debbie Reynolds singing: "Tammy's in Love." What a sappy song I thought as I hummed along remembering nearly all the words.

If a parent today helped their daughter design a persona like Tammy's, the girl would be severely handicapped living in the twenty-first century.

Does your persona need updating?

Midweek Bonus Post : Shadow Side of Perfection

"Honesty about living with all our limitations is healthier than the continual search to "do it all perfectly."*


The shadow knows.....................your limitations. 

Do You? 

How honest are you with yourself and others about your shortcomings.

If you dare to share your thoughts on this, visit the comments section at:  www.NickyMendenhall.blogspot.com  

You will be among friends.

  *David Richo