Midweek Bonus Post for Readers of exploring the mystery

"As I make my slow pilgrimage through the world, a certain sense of beautiful mystery seems to gather and grow."*

What would change if you contemplated your life as a slow pilgrimage full of beautiful mystery?

Thanks for being part of this community. Nicky Mendenhall


*Arthur Christopher Benson (24 April 1862 – 17 June 1925) was an English essayist, poet, and author and the 28th Master of Magdalene College, Cambridge.

Boys In Basement Background Check - #65

When we meet new people we often ask, "where do you live?"  

In the past three posts, exploring the mystery has introduced you to Boys in the Basement.  It is my hope that you are getting to know them, that you are benefiting from these new relationships, and that  you are eager to ask questions similar to the one above.  

In case you do wonder where the boys hang their hats, wonder no more: They reside in your limbic system. 

If your next question is "what do you mean by limbic system?"   Wikipedia has the answer:

The Limbic system is a group of deep brain structures, common to all mammals and including the hippocampus, amygdala, gyrus fornicatus, and connecting structures, associated with olfaction, emotion, motivation, behavior, and various autonomic functions.

If your eyes glaze over when you read the above four lines, just remember that the boys are a natural organic part of us. They have always been with us.

Therefore it makes sense to greet them, embrace them, and be curious about them at least once a day.  

Dr. Bjork (who introduced me to Boys in Basement in Bangkok) said in his lecture that reasoning with them doesn't usually work. Fighting them doesn't work. He advised that our best bet is to be limbic moderate.

Are you limbic moderate? 

Tune in next week for more thoughts on our new acquaintances. Let me know which of the Boys is the most challenging for you: fear, anger, despair, ecstasy?

Thanks for exploring the mystery with me - Nicky Mendenhall 

Wednesday Bonus Post from exploring the mystery

A Wednesday/Thursday quote for readers of exploring the mystery:

Pause to Wonder*

Albert Einstein

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead, his eyes are closed.

Source: What I Believe

*This was my morning reading from The Church of the Saviour in Washington, D.C.
Sign up here: www.inwardoutward.org
 

Making a Safe Harbor for the Boys in the Basement - #64

"We like to think of ourselves as individuals. But it is important to remember that, on a deep level, we are really plural beings."* 

Admitting you house a Boys in the Basement Quartet does not put you in line for a diagnosis of multiple personality disorder. Instead it indicates you are in the life-giving process of claiming and exercising your appetites. 

To sidestep Mary's question in last week's comment section, "Are the boys in the basement unconscious?" Dr. Bjork suggests that we think of the boys as appetites.

From what I know, (I didn't consult the Dr. about this), appetites reside in the same general area of the brain as the Boys.  I think the instinctual appetites work off one another to egg on the Boys while the Boys tantalize or depress the appetites.  

Recently they've both been messing with me: I say let's have one square of dark chocolate and they say: NOT enough, we need seven.    

To safely harbor the Boys in the Basement, most of us will need to go through a period of transition. Transitions can be treacherous; the transition in Iowa from winter to spring being a prime example. 

When it comes to the Boys, the transition will be from ignoring them to interacting with them on a daily basis. Touching base with our fears, recognizing our anger, admitting the despair, and finding ecstasy is quite the chore for those of us who are used to largely ignoring and hiding these appetites. 

Thinking of fear, anger, despair, and ecstasy as appetites is helpful to me. It's not a perfect fit but work with it and see what you discover.  

Thanks for exploring the mystery with me - Nicky Mendenhall

*This quote from Robert A. Johnson's book Ecstasy: Understanding the Psychology of Joy (1987), may help you deal with the Boys in the Basement idea. Strangely enough there are two copies of this book on my bookshelf. Special Bonus from exploring the mystery: I will mail the second copy(used) to the first person who emails me and requests it.  




 







 

Getting to Know The Boys In The Basement - #63

Randall J. Bjork* satisfied my curiosity regarding the fourth boy in the basement (ecstasy) with one word:  

"Orgasm!" 

After taking a moment to enjoy my startled expression, Randy assured me: "Bacon and eggs on Saturday morning are orgasmic."

Since Saturday morning crispy bacon and hash browns at the Cozy Cafe have been known to satisfy my carnal desires, I grasp his point immediately.  

I continue my cross examination: "Do you have a treatment plan for the Boys in the Basement?" 

His answer surprises me. Contrary to my initial instinct to keep the boys locked in the basement, Randy indicates that entertaining the boys daily would be prudent.  

Here are Randy's words to me after reading Post #62: 

Those Boys represent the primary, unmodified emotions of the mammalian brain.  Just think of some pleasant pastels of them for everyday balanced living...sort of a Goldilocks approach to things.

To address your interest in ecstasy, a pastel might be enjoying a nice cup of white peony tea while reading Emily Dickinson or contemplating Ecclesiastes on The Sabbath.  You can define unbridled ecstasy for yourself, but it might involve increasing your calorie count--don't forget to push fluids.


In more practical but less poetic words, I would say monitor and make conscious inchoate** fear, kindle a  spark of anger when needed for self- protection, embrace a dark smudge of despair and coax it to reveal its deep roots, and indulge in at least one activity a day that brings pleasure.  

Or - if you prefer - increase your calorie count and push fluids!

We will learn more about the boys in the coming weeks! In the meantime, my suggestion is to introduce yourself to your boys in the basement. Let them know what you need and let us know what you discover!

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

*Dr. Bjork, M.D.,"Neurophilosophy: The Meaning of Life" - a presentation in Bangkok for Creativity and Madness Conference, 2013.

**Inchoate - a new word for me meaning just began and so not fully developed. 

Boys in the Basement - #62

Spoiler Alert for Nicky's Current Psychotherapy Clients: Since psychoanalytic theory posits therapists can be more effective if details of their personal lives are unknown to the client, I did not disclose information regarding my time out of the office to you prior to my departure. Partial details of my time off will be revealed in the post that follows. I trust this literary sharing will not interfere with our therapeutic progress.

Special Note for General Readers: Because my quest continues to learn new words, I'm including some new-to-me words in the post below. I trust this will not interfere with your reading pleasure.  

Marking my calendar to be out of the office a week before and a week after attending a two-week Creativity and Madness Conference stirred up latent emotions of recklessness, privilege, and fear. Packing colorful summer clothes in the midst of a particularly drab winter called for all the imagination I could generate. Shelling out big bucks for travel insurance suddenly felt essential; friends in New Zealand recently experienced a medical emergency while touring India. 

Despite these internal and external challenges, I yearned to attend this conference. I was also eager to escape the beastly cold weather. My enthusiasm was further kindled when it snowed the day before we departed. I nurtured a deep inner knowing that everything would work out.

First stop: Bangkok. 

First speaker: Dr. Randall J. Bjork, M.D.

First Topic: Neurophilosophy: The Meaning of Life. 

It was a bit of a disappointment when the hotel meeting room at the Mandarin Oriental Hotel was almost the spitting image of a Holiday Inn meeting room in the USA. It was a bit of a disappointment when most of Dr. Bjork's didactic lecture didn't make sense to me. He used words like sapient, and teleology, and epiphenomenon.

But I wasn't disappointed in the least when I heard him say: Boys in the Basement.

Dr. Bjork suddenly had my undivided attention. I was jolted out of my jet lag by the rhythm of the phrase and the unmistakable twinkle in Dr. Bjork's eye.

It was, however, a disappointment when Dr. Bjork didn't explain the boys other than to say that each of them represented an emotion: fear, anger, despair, and ecstasy; the types of emotion that are stored deep in our primitive brain. 

Internally I rushed to the conclusion, loyal to my somewhat repressed upbringing, that the first three boys needed to be kept in the basement. But ecstasy? Was Bjork going to suggest that ecstasy stay imprisoned in the basement?

I KNEW that I had to find out more from Dr. Bjork about the Boys in the Basement.  There wasn't an opportunity to speak to him after his presentation was over because another presentation started immediately. My only option was to begin stalking Dr. Bjork in Bangkok. The group size allowed me to keep an eye on him when we were site seeing, but asking him questions about ecstasy in the presence of a 120 foot reclining golden Buddha with 10 foot feet inlaid with mother-of-pearl didn't seem appropriate. (Google Wat Pho to see a picture of this extraordinary Buddha.)

Similar to the feelings that surfaced at home indicating that everything would work out, I felt confidant that there would be an opportunity to question him; now his name was Randy.

And I was right! Flying from Bangkok to Hong Kong, my airline seat was directly behind Randy's!

I poked him. He turned around. We had eye contact. Flattery comes natural to me so I said, "Randy that was a good presentation," and then, with no further ado, I asked him to explain ecstasy. His answer made color rise in my cheeks and I'm eager to share his answer with you but first:

Dear reader, I want to ask you what do you think about ecstasy? What  examples of ecstasy have you experienced? Which Boys, if any, do you think should stay in the Basement? Let me/us know what you think!

Tune in next week for Randy's answer and to get further aquainted with the Boys in the Basement.

Thanks for returning to continue exploring the mystery with me - Nicky Mendenhall