The Elusive Present Moment - # 14

One of the greatest obstacles to staying in the present moment is our inability to stay focused. Staying focused is a skill we can  learn. 

Machaell Wright* believes if we can focus it will be easier to be in the moment.  I recently listened to one of her guided relaxation meditations which I found quite effective. Machaell asks listeners to picture a ball the size of an orange deep in their chests.

Then using focus to picture the ball (she calls it an energy ball), see it becoming larger or smaller. Then, continuing to use your focus, move the ball around inside your body. Relax the part of your body where you place the ball. If you lose the ball, you've lost your focus. Find the ball by refocusing.

You might experiment with Machaell's suggestions when you sense anxiety is about to knock on your door. 

Another hindrance to being in the present moment is the feeling of internal rushing. Speeding up internally is a sure way to invite anxiety as a guest.

When I am obsessed with crossing things off my list or when I plan a trip to the credit union and rush off without my deposit, my internal sense of rushing is coming out in my behavior. Rushing keeps me from enjoying my daily activities. 

To feel satisfied with life, we need to access our spacious inner landscape we developed last week. Specifically we want to focus on areas that relate to altruism, desire, discernment, and connection. 

Our sense of spaciousness is found in the present moment. It is hard to find spaciousness if we are looking to the past. If we are longing for the future, we are not in the present. 

Being in the present moment will slow down your experience of time and make it richer. Is that why we call a gift a present?

See if  you can discover the gifts of the present moment this week. Work on developing your ability to focus. Let me know how it feels to have a ball of energy in your chest!



*Machaelle has carefully constructed a garden "biosphere" that operates on the principles of full balance in accordance with Nature. For more information visit www.perelandra-ltd.com.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

Designing the Not Knowing Place - #13

Walking on a nature trail Monday, March 19,  I  started wondering:
What are options for successfully surviving Not Knowing?

Cheerful yellow daffodils, lacy green trees, and brilliant yellow forsythia spread out before me, none of them appearing to fret about Not Knowing. Beauty was everywhere. A glorious sense of spaciousness permeated the air.

Could this sense of spaciousness be transferred to my inner landscape?

A question was developing in my head:  If I had a spacious interior landscape, would being in the Not Knowing Place be easier?

When I pictured openheartedness, a mind nearly void of judgment, blaming, or prejudice, and appropriate anxiety being residents of my interior space, it seemed these qualities would ease the stress of unanswered questions.

 Qualities of this nature would take up a lot of space. Maybe this is why we say that a person who exhibits them is the bigger person.

To successfully stay in the Not Knowing place, develop a huge interior landscape. Something the size of a dance hall - not the size of a department store elevator.

One hindrance to spaciousness in our interior landscape is to narrow our focus. When the most important thing to us is to be right or find someone to blame, our narrow focus blocks out the space of loving kindness.

 To enlarge your internal space, stay in the moment. When we concentrate on being in the moment, we begin to notice our breathing and  subsequently it begins to slow down.

While inhaling, we can remember that billions of people are breathing the same air. While exhaling we can increase the length of the exhale, release tension, and enter a space of openness and creativity.


When we sense a web of connection to beings and creatures, our little piece of the web seems more manageable.

What gets in the way of you staying in the moment?

Note: In last week's post, I mentioned that a high school classmate was dying of cancer. I raised several questions, one of which was how much longer would he would live. That question has been answered:  Mike died on March 19, 2012. Other questions remain unanswered.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall









 

Anxiety encounters Space - Part 12

Anxiety has a complicated relationship with Space.

When we pause and breathe, we give ourselves access to life- giving Space. In this type of Space the physical manifestations of anxiety will decrease automatically. Our muscles and nervous system will be released from the tension endemic of anxiety. 

When we take several deep slow breaths, our monkey mind's chatter will begin to decrease. People who meditate commonly refer to the mind as the monkey mind to describe the difficulty of focusing on the breath when meditating - if you've ever seen a monkey or tried to concentrate on something - you can understand the reference.

For many of us, finding a centered peaceful Space will require more than a few deep breaths.

This is because it won't take long for the mind to encounter what it perceives as its nemesis: The Space of Not Knowing.

Not Knowing is an ability that we have to learn. I'm going repeat that: Not Knowing is an ability we have to learn. This may take some time to sink in so be patient with your self.

We all realize it takes ability to know. We study to know facts. We  talk to people and ask questions to know about life in general. Our entire educational system is based on teaching us how to know.

But what about situations in life where we don't know or can't  know when we want to know or feel we need to know? What do we do then?

How do we cultivate the ability to manage these types of situations? 

A former member of my high school graduating class emails when he learns pertinent information about members of our class. A message from him earlier this week contained the sad news that  a class member, Mike, has cancer.  The cancer is spreading throughout his body and Mike has asked his family to call hospice; he wants to die at home.

This news puts me in the Space of Not Knowing: Why did Mike get cancer and I didn't? How much longer will he be alive? Why is there suffering in the world? What happens to him when he dies? What would I do in Mike's situation? 

Of course, the Space of Not Knowing occurs in situations that are not life and death. When we are in times of transition, the list of what we don't know or can't predict becomes long. When we are in financial difficulty and we don't know how we are going to pay the bills is a very stressful place of Not Knowing. When we listen to the world news and wonder what is going to happen next we are in the Space of Not Knowing. Another really hard Space of Not Knowing is when we are grieving as we don't know when our feelings will ease or even if they will.

How do we stay in whatever Space of Not Knowing we are in without encountering depression, anxiety, or bitterness?

Where are you in a Space of Not Knowing?

Next week we will look at what an ability to handle Not Knowing consists of and how we can develop it.

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall





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Do You have a "Reality Distortion Field?"- Part 11

Reading Walter Isaacson's new biography, Steve Jobs,* I began to wonder if Jobs had lived his life under the influence of anxiety.

Early in his career, Jobs was asked to work the less populated night shift: he was irritating too many co-workers on the day shift. During his lifetime, Jobs explored new possibilities, abandoned the familiar, and exercised his creativity. Last week we learned that all four of these factors are related one way or another to anxiety.

Isaacson was warned by Jobs's foes, as well as his friends, to watch out for Mr. Jobs's tendency to see life through a "reality distortion field."

The phrase, "reality distortion field," grabbed my attention. We learned in previous posts that anxiety can distort how we see the world. Could viewing reality through a "reality distortion field" mean we could see as many options and possibilities as Mr. Jobs was able to see in his short lifetime?

Could viewing our experience through a "reality distortion field"  counteract the brain's negative default setting? Would we see something different than we saw through the sheer black curtain?

Brain scientists used to believe that the mind was merely the activity of the brain; neuropsychologist and meditation teacher Rick Hanson**, PH.D. and a host of other scientists, now suggest  the mind is an embodied relational process.  

This suggests to me that when the mind (picture the mind as an embodied relational process) is taught a skill (concentration), the mind can change the brain by how it moves through the organ of the brain. The mind can remodel the brain!

Did Job use a "reality distortion field" to change his brain? What changes are you going to make with your "reality distortion field?"


What do you think a "reality distortion field" is?


Please let me know.



*Walter Isaacson, Steve Jobs,2011. (Note to readers - I skimmed this 600+ page biography.)
** Rick Hanson, PH.D., Buddha's Brain, 2009. (Note to readers - I'm in process of reading this excellent book)

Thanks for exploring the mystery - Nicky Mendenhall

Detecting and Recognizing Anxiety - Part 10

Detecting anxiety is important for our well being. Recognizing anxiety's presence and purpose lets us discern the appropriate course of action. 

Irritation can be a sign of anxiety. Irritation projected onto others allows us to ignore our own anxiety. Feeling irritated can give us a sense of self righteousness. On the other hand, feeling our discomfort can make us feel vulnerable. We don't like feeling vulnerable (soft) so we feel irritated (hard).

Anxiety hidden by irritation is one to work at removing lest we end up alienating the people close to us and hardening our own heart.

In other cases, it is wise to keep our eyes open and watch the anxiety develop - much like we would watch a small child - before we shove it out the door (the anxiety not the small child!). 

When confronting new possibilities for our lives, no matter which  stage of life we are leaving or entering, we are likely to feel some degree of anxiety. This is a healthy type of anxiety that begs to be observed for it contains information we will need in the new life.

When moving from the familiar to the unfamiliar, whether you have chosen to move or you have no choice in the matter, you may experience excitement that you mistake for anxiety or vice versa.

When you begin exercising your creativity and feel either successful or thwarted in your endeavors, anxious feelings will crowd around  urging you to give up. Don't.

When basking in a hard-won sense of freedom gained by improved self awareness and hard personal work, remember Kierkegaard's prediction that the possibility of freedom always engenders anxiety.

This week see how many times you can detect or recognize anxiety as it makes an appearance. Does anxiety usually help or hinder you? How?

Email me to let me know what you discover if it would be helpful to write it out. It would be helpful to me to read it.


Thanks for exploring the mystery- Nicky Mendenhall